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Sometimes I think I have felt everything I’m ever gonna feel. And from here on out, I’m not gonna feel anything new. Just lesser versions of what I’ve already felt.
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I do everything for you. You do nothing for me. You have come to expect me to drop everything and do whatever you ask. you’re a grown man…act it . Be responsible for your own shit. It’s all about poor you…you’ve destroyed me in your path. I have to get out from under you in order to survive. If you are there in the end things will be different but I have my suspicions that you will be long gone, when the favors stop.
I look through the posts here on sp and i dont see any familiar names: idk whether thats a good thing or bad… I hope everyone that I have talked to that I’ve shared stories with and bad times are doing ok. I’d like to htink they dont come here anymore because their lives got better, they moved on and now are at peace with themselves. I hope thats the case <3. Maybe one day i will reach the point where this sight is a very very distant memory.
I’m 19 and go to RU and would prefer a teenage sui partner. This isn’t a permanent commitment whatsoever and I havent totally decided whether or not I want to do this myself. This could be months or years in planning. This probably won’t be here for long so email me at sorryaboutthis23@gmail.com
I have been taking the antidepressant Effexor combined with Wellbutrin. They seem to be stabilizing my depression but I have been having sexual side effect’s. I am not currently in a sexual relationship but It’s very frustrating not to be able to masterbate. I’ve been thinking of stopping my med’s in order to feel that, “feeling” again!!! It’s been months. I have been on just about every anti depressant and none have been effective. Any thoughts?
This is my second post on here…. I don’t know how often I will post but I see this an outlet for me. I feel like I don’t have to hold it all in anymore….
Anyway, I have tried to kill myself with pills and alcohol but it didn’t do anything. The feeling you get afterwards just lingered all for a few day. My speech was a little slurred and I couldn’t walk straight but eventually the feeling went away. The feeling of wanting to die or wanting to live varies from day to day. Some days I feel like I got this and others I […]
Tonight has an especially numb feeling. I can’t even cry anymore;I just want this world to end. I feel it should be optional to take your own life if you have no desire to fulfill it. The only question is… How?
It took 3 months for this day to come. For me to feel sick to my stomach and to realize how badly I have fucked up. I had mentioned before still hooking up with my ex and hoping and then feeling nothing. Well the day is here when he has finally blocked my number and deleted his email address that or blocked me there too. I’m not trying to be childish and stalk him or whatever. I genuinely have something important going on and needed to ask him about it. I don’t usually txt him or even call him for that matter, but now I […]
Why do I feel so cold yet I don’t have a cold heart?! Why is it that I allow people to shove their happiness down my throat and don’t have the guts to just ignore them or say fuck off?!?! This sounds bad. It’s not that I don’t like when people are happy I’m happy for them but it’s one thing to talk about it and it’s another to know you’re actually shoving it in someone’s face to make them feel like complete shit!!! I get it already! I don’t need a daily reminder 42 times in a day everyday!!!!!!
AHHHHH!!! RAGE!!
Done… Sorry..
I have been thinking about suicide very frequently the past few weeks. Perplexingly, I’m not depressed now, but ending my life on my terms seems incredibly sensible.
I forgot to leave my email. (kursk6071@gmail). If anyone feels like chatting this evening I would very much appreciate it. Especially anyone with a past NDE that they could share. I am more than a bit scared about what’s going to happen tonight. The great mystery and all. I hope something wonderful is waiting for us, when we die but I suspect it’s going to just a jump into total absolute oblivion. Bible bangers please do not apply
Well, I just bought two 8.9 cu3 party time tanks, tubing and some old O2 lines. I intend to put it all together tonight and give it a try. I believe that I can make it work. I have no one to say good bye too. If anyone out there wouldn’t mind I sure would like to say goodbye to someone. God I am so depressed about this. Itht really is harder then you would think. Going that last bit seems much harder then I anticipated. I am going to do it though, even if I have to cry myself through it. Well, thanks for letting me wine a […]
Yep. Maybe it’s because I have so many things wrong with me. I’m not hiding behind them, I like to think not, anyway. I’m true to my feelings, and am kind of brutal sometimes. Usually, I say what’s on other people’s minds. I feel bad. I can’t figure myself out. I’m mean to those who intimidate me, and sometimes, I’m just mean for no reason – usually when I’m manic – which is no excuse. I don’t forgive those who have hurt because I’m afraid they’ll only do it again. I’m afraid. I’m afraid of everything. I wish I was pre-rape me. I was super […]
On 14 May 2014, I died. This was my 9th attempt and first success. I didn’t want to come back. But, yet again, I was denied of what I wanted most of all: to be free of all the pain, suffering, bipolar/PTSD and abuse I’ve endured for over 30 years. People called me selfish. Maybe so, but when you’ve lost everything that mattered, everyone you loved, even though they didn’t love you, being abandoned, rejected, your brain fucking with you on a daily basis, and you fight every single day to get through it, death is the only way out. I’m done with shrinks, the […]
to be awake right now. or ever. I just want to die without him here:( I have never felt so hopeless in my 24 miserable years on this stupid planet. I want to take benadryl to sleep, but what if he calls me, asks me to come get him…. but who am I kidding I’m meant to be stuck in this stupid apartment all alone forever. I just wish I were never born
Hey there. Did you miss me? Probably not.
A friend of mine convinced me to talk to him rather than post stuff here… That worked out for about a day.. and then I realised that I had too much shit and too many problems to just dump it all on him. The offer was nice at first, but.. I don’t even know how to begin talking to him.
I don’t know how to talk to anyone any more.
I don’t know how to begin telling my story, or even where to. I don’t know who’d care enough to listen or who’d just laugh in my face. I don’t […]
Oh yea, you know who you are. 🙂 And you are my world. I love you a lot!!!! 🙂
Just another slice at a slow soothing pace
Just another pill to drown that horrid face
Just another life, just another feast
I can not escape the ugly beast
It’s all reality, some say a thrilling ride
But there’s nothing thrilling about wanting to die…
Call me bleak
Call me blind
Call me weak
But you see I’ve been caught up in a daunting bind..
In this hole far to deep
80feet under I try to escape
Can’t escape a hole that never changes shape…
You feel lonely and depressed and that one person you count on to understand you tells you: “There you go PRETENDING to be all sad again” and “Fine. If you want to wallow in your miserable self-pitying then be my f*cking guest.” Just no words right now for how pissed and CRUSHED I am. This challenges me more to show him that I AM NOT PRETENDING, I want to prove that to him so bad. I am so tempted to off myself…Has someone undergone something similar? 🙁
I’m not really a touchy feely kind of guy but since she left I feel as I can’t continue. I’ve got 96 pills and two bottles of wine. I feel bad about doing it at my mothers but there’s really no other option. Gave the house to my ex. The last ten months and three weeks have been torture. I’ve only survived that long because of my son but I can’t do it any more. Imagine what it feels like to want to die but having to push on, I can’t go on any longer. I went to the doctors today. They told me to […]