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Messages.. so many messages… hate messages.
I thought I was away from them.. 🙁
I keep ignoring and deleting them, but then new ones occur.. 🙁
Theres fire in her eyes,
And a spark in her soul.
There’s flames in her mind,
And her heart is a hole.
There’s an ocean in her eyes,
And a waterfall pouring down her face.
There’s a deep blue color within them,
As the tears began to race.
There’s no hope in her eyes,
No faith in her heart.
There’s nothing left to cling to,
As her world is falling apart.
Do you believe suicide is selfish? Do you have a right to kill yourself when there are others living off worse than you?
After all, when one kills his or herself they leave a lot of people in pain, anger and grief. Sometimes there’s even a [gruesome] mess to clean up. Is that fair?
I go back and forth between whether it’s fair or not everyday. EVERY single human being has or is experiencing some great deal of pain. in their life. But what about people who truly feel they’re better off dead than alive?
How do you feel when people try to compare your life to those […]
Why do I even try to befriend people?
Why do I even try my best to feel loved?
Why do I even try to find people who might care for me?
Why do I even try to hope that someday I will find love?
Why do I even try to stop myself from thinking about suicide?
All I do when I befriend people is hurt them.
All I do when I try to feel loved is get hurt.
All I do when I try to find people who might care for me is to feel useless and unwanted.
All I do when I try to hope […]
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I’ve seen the documentary The Bridge many times. In spite of the miniscule risk of surviving the jump, it’s still a much more statistically successful method than pills.
Pills? Totally unreliable
Hanging? I couldn’t bring myself to do it
Gunshot? Way too messy….besides, I’m as anti-NRA as you can get.
Yes….I have a deep seated feeling the Golden Gate Bridge will be my method when I decide I really need to go, which I hope will be before I have to suffer another Holiday Season.
I made a preliminary draft of my Will and today I talked to my financial planners about how I want my IRA distributed. They have […]
I’m in that mood again, pain is consuming my entire body. Â Every day is the same, nobody listens. Nobody cares about me. Â Can’t they see I’m hurting? Â Can’t they love me? Â My name is Hurt. Â It defines me and my entire existence. Â I’m tired of waiting for things to get better. Â I can’t seem to find that Hope. Â When can I stop hoping? Â When can I just end it all? Â I didn’t ask to be born. Â I didn’t ask to exist. Â So why can’t I just – not exist? Â It’s not like anybody would care. Â I can’t handle much before I fall apart. Â I need […]
I have only four true friends at the moment. Trying to make new friends for me use to be so easy… now not so much.
Anyways, I made a Facebook status, just thanking my four true friends for staying by my side no matter what.
My old ‘best friend’ saw it, seeing I didn’t include her. Note that I didn’t include her because  she never speaks to me, she makes promises she NEVER keeps, and she tries to invite me and our other best friend to her house, only to ditch us last minute.
I got tired of how she treated me, so I just kind of stopped […]
or the mitigation of pain project? They’re obviously related, but the essential focus is radically diferrent.
Something intense happened last night. While driving on the highway, I nearly hit a girl staring blankly into traffic on the border of the shoulder and my lane. I called the authorities, exited and swung around on the service road. I got out, ruined my new shoes on the muddy embankment :P, and went up to her on the highway. She was crying, distraught, and talking about how a friend just died. I slowly climbed over the guardrail (looking back, I probably shouldn’t have done that, kinda dangerous) and told her I would love to listen to whats going on, but its so noisy. I […]
when your ex-valentine (to whom you were married to for years, and whom you still adore and love deeply) has left you, and may be with another ?
I’ve tried not to be depressed, and I’ve tried not to let suicidal thoughts creep back into my mind. Â One tenet of Cognitive Behavioral Therapy is that if someone can change the way he or she thinks that will affect their behavior–sort of the scientific version of the power of positive thinking.
When I was released from the hospital and my residential treatment program I could relate to CBT. Â It was last July that I transitioned to out-patient treatment. Â For so long I haven’t had suicidal thoughts. Â But that’s changing, and I’m thinking more and more of killing myself. Â (There I said it.) Â Being hospitalized and […]
For me Valentine’s day is a day which I love. Why? Because I, myself can give out love. Can make the people around me know that I truly love them. That I’m here for them no matter what. That I will help them. That we will fight together on any issue they have. But in a way I hate it. Why? Because all I want is to be loved. Loved by someone who won’t break my heart. Loved by someone who will help me through this. Loved my someone. Just loved. Is that too much to ask for? It’s all I ever […]
Lonely ..Lonely.. Lonely
This day makes me feel even more alone.
OHHHH I hate love … and I hate not being in LOVE…
should I buy myself some flowers? sure it’s pathetic, but who says I can’y buy myself flowers?
Any depressed girls here in the city who want to just talk? Â Im not trying to hook up but I have unsuccessfully on dating sites. Â Just being honest. Â Ive attempted suicide several times. Â I even shot up motor oil once. Â My latest plan is to…. Â well I dont want to give it away. Â Everything thinG I do turns to shit. Â Btw …. guys… Â quit hitting on me. Â (Males) Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â […]
My life and my body are broken. Â My health is bad and I have no one to help me. Â I can’t deal with life anymore. Â I am having a hard time taking care of myself, just the basics. Â And I have no one. Â I have nothing except pain and misery.
I really can’t take it anymore. Â There is no escape from my misery except death. Â I feel cheated out of life. Â I haven’t had a fair chance at life and now my body is dying. Â And I’m all alone. Â If I die, nobody in my life would give a damn.
I’m really tired of this bullshit called […]
I’m 17.
Turning 18 in a few months.
I’m 17. A senior in high school. I’ve been around for less than two decades and I feel like I’ve been around forever. Time passes by too slowly, each day is longer than the next.
