General

really simple,  no story just want to die, i hate my life,  no courage to kill myself though.

I had the dream a few nights ago. I was in my brother’s room, and my mother comes in and starts telling me all these strange rules and restrictions I’ll have from then on. A while later, I realized that I had told her I was suicidal, and instead of trying to heal me, she wanted to tie my hands so I couldn’t do it. That’s when I knew that if I told anyone in my real life that I was planning this, they’d stop me and hold me down until I couldn’t breathe.

So I can’t tell anyone. If I did, I would have made […]

I am a 55 year old woman who has a doctorate degree and an high level position but in the past 8 months I have lost my husband to cancer, my home to forclosure after all the bills and lack of income, bankrupted my husbands estate, had 1 major and 2 minor auto accidents. My only child will not much to do with me because I remind him of the loss of his father.  I can’t sleep but 2 – 3 hours a night. All I do is work. I can’t take much more stress in my life.  My psychologist says the symptoms I’m showing are […]

Sometimes/ most times it’s the littlest things that send me into a spiral. Today I thought I’d lost my wallet. I was at work over 50 miles from home and it was gone. At first I was calm retracing my steps then as I got closer and closer to not being able to find it in any of the locations I was at after I knew I had them last, it was like BOOM! Full on panic attack and spiral to why am I here, I hate being so miserable all the time, I just want to die. The dark place just swallowed me up. […]

My head hurts, not a regular migraine, just my brain hurting every time I try to form a thought. Everything is clouded by this dull aching in my head. After years of struggle the answer is clear. My time is near. I’ve done all that I can do here and no more. My 34th birthday is on Wednesday, so I have until then, the time is ticking away. A welcome deadline, that for once I will make. This is the most selfish thing a person can do, so I will do something for myself this time. A permanent slumber, an eternal nap. I am ready […]

Hey there,
My name is Taliya. I was abused from the age of 4 until the age of 15, verbally, physically and emotionally. I just recently figured out I was at my limit before I was going to just break, I decided to leave my house and go to my grandparents a few days a week. I refuse to leave permanently because of my siblings, it would break their hearts to see me leave and I cant do that to them. I always promised them I was going to be around to protect them, and that’s never going to change. Home is a place I […]

I don’t like eating. Seeing food makes me want to throw up. If I eat I don’t for a week. I know it’s bad, but I just can’t help it. It hurts sometimes… But I still put it off. And the worst thing is nobody even notices, and nobody even cares… Then other times I binge, and then I don’t eat again. I don’t know what’s wrong. But my ribs are starting to show, and I don’t know what to do.

Everyone seems to be telling me to Eat. But… I’d rather be hungry. Even if it kills me. Because I wouldn’t mind that at all.

Hi, I am laying here in my bed and I have no one to reach out to. If you are reading this, please bear with me.

I guess I should start with my story.
My parents have had an extremely rough relationship since 7th grade. That is when I began to cut my wrists. A friend told her mom who called mine, I lied, and stopped cutting for fear of being sent to the doctor.
In 9th grade I met a guy. We became best friends. I was 14 and he was 17 and he started inviting me over to his apartment. For a period of […]

I started self harming last year because I suffered from anxiety and depression. I still do today. I also have anorexia and am presently being bullied by my old best friend.

people are so mean

ok, let me start right here. im not te skinnyiest ir prettyest girl ever. i have been suffereing from my weight my whole life. i get bullied heaps. i have alot of fasmily issues going on aswell, i have been put in hospital 3 times from suerside attemts. i self harm alot. i alweays have to hide behind a smile everydy in frount of my family. they dont actually realise im braking inside. i hate life. i wish i was dead. i cant stand my family and friends and my life. everyday i feel life my life is getting worse. i feel like im a […]

So, I’ve decided to commit suicide. Always just 95% sure. Some doubts. But this has been a very process to come to this decision. I worry about my 20year old son. But that’s it. The rest of the world will be unburdened with me gone. I can’t seem to get anything right and the struggle and pain have persisted for decades. Medication doesn’t work, counseling doesn’t work, changing my life up doesn’t work, volunteering doesn’t work, religion didn’t work. I tried everything across the years. So how does that final push occur?  Deciding with that last 5% of yourself. Or should I be making arrangements […]

Does anybody know if there is a way to tell Balloon Time container is full ? Like some specific pressure gauges that can be bought ?

please leave your mail if you would like to talk about it.

The love of my life left me recently.

I had never felt anything so true or so pure, and despite wanting to hate her for not being able to cope with MY depression, I still just pray that she is happy and well.

She left because she couldn’t handle me spiraling down into clinical depression again; at least that’s what she told me. My ‘black dog’, as Winston Churchill would call it, brought me all the way down to dropping out of high school despite being an honors student. I was just fighting through it and getting self confidence when I met her for the first time.

Three […]

You can beg and dream,
Cry and scream,
But face the fact,
They’re never coming back.
All the memories, laughs and tears,
Ending in your worst fears.
Going through the photos won’t reverse time,
And if you can relate to the words in this rhyme,
You know the pain, hurt and sorrow that’s felt day by day,
Knowing there is not one fucking way,
To see their face, hear their voice and feel there touch ever again.
All you are able to do is beg and plead,
For that one person you really need..

I am not really sure where to begin. I guess at the start of of why I am here iz just as good a place as any. It was the beginning of September 2011. I had concluded that I would never find a girl that completed the part of me that only a girl who truly loved me could fill.

Then I met Jenny. Just saying Jenny starts the hurricane of sweeping emotions moving inside me again. We had a short conversation about religion. She, Christian, and I at the time was reading the teachings of Buddah. My first impression was that she seemed real, in […]

I feel badly that I didn’t count the rejects at the project at work correctly the previous day

I feel badly that I am taking my vacation in a week instead of cancelling it like others have for work

I feel badly that I’m not able to help the new contract workers get jobs as much as I would like

I feel badly that they want these jobs so much and I just want to leave

I feel badly that I’m impotent regarding intimacy

I feel badly that my intent for more personal activity towards a more positive life hasn’t really started yet

I feel badly that my cat killed a […]