General

My life overall has just been sad. It isn’t sad all day every day, but there are always moments throughout my day when I become sad. I start thinking about how much my life has changed and how much it is going to change. I’m still fairly young and I’m actually graduating at the beginning of next month. I’ve been taking this month to say goodbye to the people that I probably won’t see again for a really long time, and I think it’s adding to the sadness. Since I’m new here I guess I’ll share part of my story; my parents are divorced, and […]

any news from catchthebus? stopped replying to my emails… just want closure please. thanks

get redey

go out

tiy the knot

don’t let them see

hang there 2 minits of pane and panic

then light and no pane

sownd so simpul

not for me and now I don’t were she is

what she thinks of me

if we can be like it was

im I dead to her

sister of understanding

younger than me but with more sens

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xGytDsqkQY8

I post here – talk, I guess you could say – about it because it’s not safe to say out loud. Not if you’re uncertain. Not if you don’t want to be stopped.

It’s worse now. And I love it – how people that you go to for help end up making it worse. How they realize that they’re in over their head and then – ha – they dump you. They can’t handle it and they give you three references – via email and on a Sunday - and tell you good luck.

No one knows. No one can. This is what suicide feels like. The before. […]

Time gets closer everyday to the point where I will be out of money.  Today was the last day to appeal my unemployment denial, which my boss refused stating I quit to go to school, which is a lie.  I didn’t appeal.  I cannot stand the idea of talking to her.  I keep having nightmares, I keep having trouble sleeping, then when I do, I just feel tired anyway.  I’ve lied on my resume, to get rid of the blackballing boss bully that has been telling lies about me, but at the same time, it gets rid of about five years of management experience that […]

Straight, gay, lesbian, bisexual, all of these and more are labels that define our sexuality, yet I have yet to figure mine out. Well more like I have no idea if what I think I prefer sexually is what I really prefer. I feel as if the person in me doesnt have a place to feel free and be itself. To say I am experienced is an understatement. I have played some sexually arousing games with my friends even though at that time to me it really didnt make sense why the game was arousing to me. A few years ago, I had been riding the bus to […]

i could be the smart’s brightest funniest strongest fastest good looking guy in the world or whatever. doesn’t matter what i could be. even still i could achieve or do anything i wanted and it wouldn’t matter because she gives all her affection to everyone else, and then wonders why im depressed and or pissed? like really?

~~~LYRICS~~~

So why are you holding my hand tonight?
I’m not intending to go far away.
I’m just slipping through to the back room –
I’ll leave you messages almost every day.

And who was I to last forever?
I didn’t promise to stay the pace.
Not in this lifetime, babe
but we’ll cling together:
some kind of heaven written in your face.

So why are you holding my hand tonight?
Well, am I feeling so cold to the touch?
Do my eyes seem to focus
on some distant point?
Why do I find it hard to talk too much?
And who was I to last […]

I need someone to be there for me when I need them most. I need to know someone’s there for me and will notice when I vanish. So plz if there’s anyone out there I need desperate help.. I am desperately looking so if your out there. Plz let me know.

Some days I just wanna up and call it quits
I feel like I’m surrounded by a wall of bricks
Everytime I go to get up, I just fall in pits
My life’s like one great big ball of shit
If I could just put it all into all I spit
Instead of always trying to swallow it
Instead of staring at this wall and shit
While I sit, writer’s block, sick of all this shit
Can’t call it shit, all I know is I’m about to hit the wall
If I have to see another one of moms alcoholic fits
This is it, last […]

At first site, right from the start.

You was the one who had my heart.

Our relationship was a good run.

The moments with you was a lot of fun.

Now you have destroyed my heart and put it in horrible condition.

You have finally put me out of commission.

—Me.

This is the man that I hate pretty damn much. What makes him special is the fact that I have absolutely never known nor seen him personally, I only have a tiny photo and a scrap of info: he lives in the United States, works for the government, in his free time likes to play the drums and learn foreign languages. At first sight, an ordinary man. Or could be, but not for me. A while back, he used his power of authority against me. He could’ve stayed aside from all my trouble, or could’ve answered my pleas and not take such strict measures, at […]

How dark can these hallways be?
The clock strikes midnight, one, two, three

I’m desperate at my desk
If I could just get the rest of this shit off my chest again

Some days I just wanna up and call it quits
I feel like I’m surrounded by a wall of bricks
Everytime I go to get up, I just fall in pits
My life’s like one great big ball of shit
If I could just put it all into all I spit
Instead of always trying to swallow it
Instead of staring at this wall and shit

I like having hats, wristbands (covers up my cuts), and necklaces. Well yesterday I lost control and I couldn’t stop myself. So I hung all my things up and just laid there. In my bed, in my room, music blasting, waiting for 3 things…  1. a reason to go on.. 2. a “accident” to occur.. 3. ways to end it in a quick and painless way. I have awoke and have a huge headache.. due to passing out at 3am.. Anyway im a failure.. you could say because…well…….

If you accept that life on earth is supposed to evolve into something stronger, then it follows that the weak, the useless and the self-destructive elements should die off.

Self-preservation is probably the most important ingredient for a Darwinian success story. I think it’s fair to say we all suck in that department.

With earth’s human population spreading like a virus (what is it now, 7 billion and doubling every 35 years?), evolution needs to kill off as many as possible. Fine with me. I’ll be doing my part to improve the rest of the planet by dying and not having any offspring.

Here’s the world population clock:

Two nights ago I couldn’t sleep. I was plenty tired but for whatever reason I just couldn’t sleep, at all. I ended up not sleeping that day, not that I needed much energy anyways. Later that day, I began to feel this sudden guiltiness just take over. I couldn’t think of anything else, everything I did only gave me another reason to hurt myself more. I haven’t eaten since then, only drinking water every hour, the amount of cuts on my stomach and arms increased drastically compared to how much I usually cut and I’ve been swallowing pills randomly as I get the urge.

I don’t know […]