General

i can’t fake it anymore. can’t hide the tears, come out of the bathroom stall like everything’s okay. lie lie and lie to people that im doing fine. it just won’t happen anymore, the fake happiness is gone. i can’t do it anymore. im already dead inside, sure the scars are gone,but i feel numb. and im fearless, bc what more can life put me through? im sure now ive said that im gonna have a terrible time, but what’s left? been through people coming, leaving, lying, bitching, breaking your trust,your heart, going against you, loneliness, sexual abuse, death, health issues, self harm, family issues, […]

My skin…defines who I am. It’s my history. My story. With all the invisible ink marks that once read words that described me. With scars that overtook me. With the touches of people I once loved. But of all the things it is…there’s one thing it is not. Dead.

http://www.quotev.com/suicidediaries here is my page where i post things…you can look if you like…I have a fake name so people don’t know who I am.

We started reading Romeo and Juliet in English. (I hate English class.) Luckily it was out of a textbook with definitions of the words that I would have been otherwise cluless to the meaning of. I believe star-cross’d is in line 6 of the prologue (that’s just a guess, I wasn’t paying much attention). So here it is…

star-cross’d- doomed by the position of the planets at the time of birth (first use 1595, so this would be included in the list of words Shakespeare made up).

I’d say I like this word. I’ll add it to my list (my favorite being pyrrhic). It seems to describe […]

Im just over it all, everything just kepps pilling on. Today I found out my recovery time is going to take way longer almost a year plus. On top of all this my parent sno longer trust me what so ever. Everyone I know just seems to shrung me off when I look for help. I cant possibly go on, my life is going to be extremely painful and I dont want to live a life of pain why not just end it all now. Sure everyone will be heart broken for a month then everything will go back to normal ill just be another statistic. I know if […]

Sometimes I wish I could be someone else.  I can’t keep my sh*t together and fall apart all the time.

i just wish i wasn’t such a failure, wallowing in my self-pity, but too tired to keep trying when i’ve tried and tried and tried and failed and failed…

i just wish people would love me for who i am, depression warts and all.

i wish people would stop judging.

i wish “normal” people would understand.  but no one really understands unless they go through it themselves.

i’m tired of being a loser.  i’m tired of putting up a “happy” front when i am not ok, when i am literally dying inside.

i’m tired of not being able to make my life work.

i’m tired of constantly being depressed and unhappy.

i […]

I don’t want to get into too much details about my situation, I’ll just say depression is bad enough, but can be coped with. Depression plus constant physical pain (which doctors aren’t able to heal), is the straw that broke the camel’s back. I just need to know how big the ******** tank should be for Hypoxia suicide. Thanks all.

Maybe I’ll take a pain killer….or 70.

I wish everyone will stop telling me “ its okay “ because its not! , its not! at all you dont know how I feel how or what im thinking or even whats fully happening I can fool all of you with a fake smile and laugh

you dont know my family life , my friends or even me you dont know me you really dont I barley know me im broken as fuck and I cant fix myself I cant I cant help but cry myself to sleep every other night or dig my nails in to myself

you do know […]

Just wondering how everyone is feeling? Hope everyone is okay. I’m so tired, but I’ll live.

Being called stupid, an idiot, nothing, and told I should run away so I wont be anywhere close to here just isnt worth it anymore. Especially when it comes from your own father…

🙁

Why does it have to be so difficult
why

Why do i have to be such a coward
why…?!?!

WHY can’t I just DIE??
Why can’t I escape from my life?
It is so difficult and I have tried pretty much everything I can do except poisoning because I am scared shit of vomiting. Even then I have made a small overdose as the most pathetic attempt of the century.

I have one more plan and it could take a while before I can get to it.
I just am at a complete loss here… ;_; (damn i promised myself i wouldn’t cry or people would be wasting […]

Depression is slowly creeping up, and I don’t know why… most of the time I just wanna kill myself, rest from everyone and everything, but the worst part is that I’m too much of a coward to  do it. I want to get away from all of this, I tired and I’m only 16. Sometimes I cut myself, I cut my wrist, I know I need to stop, I know I need help but I don’t know if I want it…

I thought I was alone, I thought I was the only person feeling like this, but I guess I’m not.

This is […]

If you die you’re completely happy and your soul somewhere lives on. I’m not afraid of dying. Total peace after death, becoming someone else is the best hope I’ve got. – kurt cobain

“The so-called ‘psychotically depressed’ person who tries to kill herself doesn’t do so out of quote ‘hopelessness’ or any abstract conviction that life’s assets and debits do not square. And surely not because death seems suddenly appealing. The person in whom Its invisible agony reaches a certain unendurable level will kill herself the same way a trapped person will eventually jump from the window of a burning high-rise. Make no mistake about people who leap from burning windows. Their terror of falling from a great height is still just as great as it would be for […]

my name is not important I am 19 years old i have been alive long enough I wish to retire to the country side.
I see a world in decline north Korean aggression . loss of jobs an economy in the sewer. i leave this world with the happiness that I came into it with I wish no I want to die to be free of the earth mom dad I will watch over you for the stars but I feel that I have no desire to keep living I cant go on please cremate my body and throw my ashes  into a river any […]

I see  people who are barely 17 sharing stories of wanting to kill themselves  over  family abuse or relationships. Whatever your reason , killing yourself at an age where you can build your life  is  extremely stupid. I remember wanting to kill myself in my teens and now i realise how stupid  it was.  When you are this young, you  think   the whole world is about the family or  school mates. It is not.  At this age you have the option of  leaving all behind  and building a  fabulous  life for yourself. You could  become a multi millionaire, a  star, you  could […]