I wish I didn’t have to suffer so much

i just wish i wasn’t such a failure, wallowing in my self-pity, but too tired to keep trying when i’ve tried and tried and tried and failed and failed…

i just wish people would love me for who i am, depression warts and all.

i wish people would stop judging.

i wish “normal” people would understand.  but no one really understands unless they go through it themselves.

i’m tired of being a loser.  i’m tired of putting up a “happy” front when i am not ok, when i am literally dying inside.

i’m tired of not being able to make my life work.

i’m tired of constantly being depressed and unhappy.

i deserve happiness.  but why can it never come?  why does there have to be so much pain in my life?

i’m tired of life fucking me over again and again.

i wish i wasn’t me.  i wish i didn’t have to suffer so.  :'(