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I have been battling for a very long time now. Everyday I have to justify to myself why I’m still here. Even though I do have to keep going through it everyday, every battle that I win against myself has kept me around this long. I don’t know what else to do but try and get help when each battle is becoming harder and harder to win, so I got on the computer and sought help. I’ve tried talking with friends, talking with family, but its all too personal and just makes it harder, and for some stupid reason I feel like as I am […]
.I feel so depressed, I feel like i’m becoming emotionally and physically weaker! I just feel so dull and sick that I don’t even want to wake up in the mornings and feel like i have no hope :'( No one accepts me the way i am and I have become a bit boring since my depression. Idk if its because of that or not though…=( Gahh sorry for being dramatic but i feel very bad nowadays I’ve been lonelier than ever before as my self-proclaimed “best friends” don’t even message me or call me or anything. I understand that I go to a different […]
Every time I cut…No one asks “Hey that looks bad what happened?” Or “You should get help” The look at me and say “Oh your one of those people” Which tells me that no one cares about why i do it or if i do it…..
My husband has left me. I cant take it. Why is God letting me suffer? Why is he letting my husband hurt me like this? Our marriage hasnt been the best the past year and now its officially over. I dont want this. We have a newborn and I think im pregnant again. My husband says im nothing to him and he hopes i kill myself. He practically cheers me on to do it. Ive cried and begged God to help me. But i dont get anything. I know i shouldnt want to die cause of my kids. But my husband says they are better […]
What’s the point in posting your deepest feelings when nobody gives a crap enough to reply?
i love to hear the sound of your pain
i love the feel of the blood in your veins
your heart beats at an elevated rate
do you think you can escape?
inside these walls i rein supreme
i can torture you in any way i dream
its not so different from what you did to me
so mother fucker i want to hear you scream!!!!!
you beat me and hurt me
you twisted and turned me
i was your pawn and now im king
so fight the matador in his ring
whats that you say?
your sorry?
a little late for a sob story
im sitting here and its past mid night
regretting ever little thing that happened in life
you cant take back the hands of time
the situations fit the crime
you got to move on
but moving is hard
since you concede your self to living in the dark
ive got no reason to be happy, or sad
i live my days always mad
mad at what? i don’t fucking know
i think sometimes its all for show
you have to feel something deep inside
so why not get pissed? its not easy to hide
then people will think your real,
people will think you feel
The guy i’ve been in love with for the past year is my everything.. but recently he completely changed!! hes continuously hurt me over and over again. Then recently.. i attempted to kill myself and he texted my sister saying this ” ahaha well you should really come out!! come on i’ll help make sure you have a good time, your sisters saying she’s gonna kill herself can u call her? ugh such a buzz kill! dont tell her i said that” and then continues on to beg my sister who is his exact age to come out to eden with him and his friends. […]
f****** right, I just need a really good method. f*** waiting for unfinished business.. any ideas? my plan is to do it before June.. is something I have to do.. not really a choice.. what about catching HIV.. and not taking the meds.. how long would I have to live
Im trying to remain strong but it seems like everything i try to do is futile, it feels like im getting weaker and weaker each day, i failed at college, i am not performing well at work, i have family that are distancing themselves from me. I feel like i am a curse, my father was a failure & im scared that if i continue to live i might end up like him.My mind is slowly deteriorating each day, people keep telling me that things will get better for years now but nothing has changed.This world is not for me. If GOD does’nt take me […]
I lost my new job. Have no car. My family has disowned me. I have no car and live in a motel with my bf who also recently lost his job. I don’t do drugs, I hardly ever drink, I’m honest and kind. But I am bipolar and diabetic and ADHD and depressed and probably have personality disorder. I am stubborn but very sensitive. I’m so tired of being stressed and broke and scared and feeling worthless to the world. I hate how others gladly walk all over good people and mistreat them for their own success or profit. I’m sad. I sometimes dream of […]
Behind her smile is pain
Behind her laugh shes crying out for help
Hmmmmmm nothing else any sugguestions????
kay so im bisexual and every1 acts like its bad but really its not im treaded like a dog hello im still a human being i dont diserve to be treated like this jus bcuz im bi so what!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Control. That seems to be the only thing I’ve ever wanted, the one thing I’ve never gotten. To feel like I actually have a say-so in what happens next or where I go… to feel like I can contribute something to my life because after all, it is MY life. I have a dad who always made the rules. Even though they were always stupid and illogical and only benefited him, he ALWAYS got the final say so. And it went from being just small things to bigger things. Where I go to college (a college I pay for COMPLETELY on my own, by the […]
kay so today i was in the lunch room and my tray was slammed into my face and a girl got in my face 🙁 so she strted talking crap her friend said wtf just punch her already…….. so she did :'( no one bothered to help me wtf i was picked up early i went home and my mom had to go back to work and i decided to be a dumbass and drink bleach……….. again……… i was n the hospital al day they flushed my system >:( i really dont understand AGAIN WHY AM I STILL HERE i tryed hanging my self too […]
I still have nothing.
I have everything that I could ever want, but it means absolutely nothing. No matter how good things get, I still feel empty. I don’t think anyone could ever fill me up all the way; I don’t think it’s possible. I still try to fix myself. We bought an expensive ring, put it on my finger, and I was happy for a month. I tell myself that I’m happy over and over and over again, but it doesn’t change a thing. What if I changed everything? I could call off the wedding, start over again, and… and what? I don’t think I’d […]
because the more you love the more you fear. And i’m really tired of being afraid.
I still remember the times when nothing is too complicated (except for math) or too morbid. But now, look at my life. I like heavy metal and the colour black. I write poems that revolve around the theme death. I just came out of depression. And I want it back.
To say the truth, I came from a ‘perfect’ family. My dad has a good job, my mum loves all three of us and we siblings get along with each other almost all of the time. I get somewhat alright grades, around A to B usually, and I am in the school track team. Our whole […]