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My Life … :(

by LostPearl
written by LostPearl

So my horoscope tells me that its hard for me to be emotional. Is it really? Well my family tends to think so. In my mind I always feel like committing suicide. At one moment I can feel so HAPPY that my family thinks I’m always the happy child and then at the next I feel so lonely, and secluded, out of place. I never fully understand what triggers my feeling to go up and down. When I was in class 7 I lied to my friends telling them that I’m an expert at self harming but honestly I never even dared to try it. […]

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I Sit Here

by strangemusic
written by strangemusic

I sit at the table. And there’s a teddy resting under my chair. I sit here alone, in this room. No one knows I sit here. I don’t know whether it’s day or night, I don’t care. The air is light and it smells of quartz, so lulling. The whole room is blue, only the lamp on the table is pale yellow, like a moth. I sit here and dream, and I talk to the lamp. The clock on the wall is ticking rhythmically, like a metronome… 

I pick up the teddy from under the chair, and I put it on the table […]

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Life has no eraser.

by spillmyguts97
written by spillmyguts97

Ever had those moments where you wish something never happened or regretted something bad you really did, and you wish you could start over and erase those past mistakes? I don’t mean to sound like a *****, but it will never happen. I nearly fail to realize it every day and I still think about all the bad things I did and about the times where I screwed up, and never realized the effect it will have on me in the future. Those bad memories and mistakes come back to haunt me everyday, and I feel sad and I always have a burning desire to […]

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Even Here.

by AscahIsBroken
written by AscahIsBroken

 

People say that people cut for attention.

Many cutters fight back saying things like “If it’s for attention, why are we hiding? Why are we lying?”

But I think that it’s completely different.

I don’t want anyone to know that I cut. I don’t want people to try to help me. 
But sometimes I fantasize about someone seeing a glimpse of my wrist. I imagine that they grab my arm and stare, shocked. I want them to ask me why. And I want to tell them.
I don’t want people to know.
But all I want is to scream at the top of my lungs about how much it hurts.
Maybe it […]

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Drug

by Rain
written by Rain

I’ve cut every night since my last post. Does anyone else feel like cutting is like a drug? Something bad for you that makes you feel so much better?
I stopped for a while and then it gave me a rush again when i finally gave in…The same comfort I felt when I cut for the very first time. When I was young.
I know I should stop, I know it’s effecting things…like relationships and my job and school…It’s just so fucking hard..life is so fucking hard.
Does anyone have any ideas on how to stop?

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I don’t love you. But I don’t hate you either.

by sand_dude
written by sand_dude

I could never hate someone for loving me. Even if I didn’t love them back.

I could never black list that person, and pretend they’re invisible.

Even if we once made love, even if we were once so physically close.

I could never ignore someone who really wanted to be my friend.

Even if they weren’t already.

As long as you treat me as a friend, your treatment will be reciprocated.

The second you stop trying, it’s over. There’s nothing left to say.

But mostly,

I could never hate someone for loving me. Even if I don’t love them back.

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SadBk

by Letmesleep
written by Letmesleep

I dislike clogging up this site with threads like this, but I didn’t really have any other way to contact you. I was wondering if you’d email me briefly? I have a couple questions I’d like to ask you. No significant emotional or time commitment is necessary, I just wanted to clarify something you said. I would really appreciate it.

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idontknowwhattodo

by skylark
written by skylark

A few months ago a friend of mine told the councilors at school that i was planning to kill myself cause i wanted to tell them before i left…she left it anonymous but the councilors talked to my friends mom and my parents. i couldn’t do anything because i was on constant watch and in order to stop it i would ask to go to the store to just cry…Everyone is trying to get me help- but it’s not helping…all it’s doing is making things worse- I DONT WANNA THINK ABOUT HOW MUCH I SUCK ALL THE TIME… before this-i could control myslef-but now i […]

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by hopefuldreamer
written by hopefuldreamer

I tend to isolate most of the time and spend a whole day in my bed, but the more I do the more I feel suicidal,frustrated,and like giving up. I find it hard to open up to people because I feel like I’m being a burden to them so I’ve kind of always kept my problems to myself but the problem with that is that I have no outlet (other than this site) and I don’t know what to do my when it comes to expressing my feelings I can never quite say what it is that I’m feeling and I’ve grown so used to […]

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so here’s my thing.

by ohdontworry
written by ohdontworry

i’ve never been happy.

a lot of bad things have occurred in my life, same as everyone else, and i’m quite aware that many people have dealt with their situations a lot more admirably than i have, and i know that a lot of people have it off a lot worse than i do. i’m just shit at handling reality. i feel things too intensely and i’m always pissed off or sad about something. i get through it day to day in little ways; i know i have amazing people in my life and i really do enjoy the beautiful things around me.

it’s just that nothing […]

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Attempt number #2 this was meant for me.

by marciiluthii
written by marciiluthii

Death. Must be completely peaceful with no worries just soft waves of pure nothingness, I’m contemplating it once again, 2nd attempt hopefully my last. I want to die so badly it’s like that feeling you have when you really want a new tattoo or a new pair of shoes it’s all you think about that’s how it is for me and dying I want it and I can’t seem to think straight because of how much I want and need death upon me. But as with everything there’s an exception I don’t want death being FAT, I suffer from anorexia, and schizotypal PD and I […]

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I Just Don’t Know

by semicolon
written by semicolon

I want to kill myself, shocking, the problem is the backlash of a failure. I know for a fact that my therapist will send me across the country if I so much as even cut again. I have no idea what he would do if I attempted suicide. If I get sent away I know that the hospital will keep me long term. I can’t deal with that. I don’t know what I’ll do if my therapist finds out that I haven’t stopped cutting. I’m scared of that. I just want to end this terrible game of cat and mouse. No one is ever going to find out what’s […]

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Stranger of Cancer

by Miss.Mayhem
written by Miss.Mayhem

You know what would be wonderful? If I got Cancer and died. See I would reject Chemotherapy and then I’d die sooner or latter. Then everyone would talk about me after I died like I was such a wonderful person.

“She fought so hard”

“There was always a smile on her face”

“She could always make me laugh!”

Maybe my dad would finally show his face at my funeral…first time in almost 10 years…Or maybe my mom wouldn’t even tell him about it…My teachers would probably come. I was a very loved student. I hardly ever did my homework and I was failing most of my classes but they’d come…I’m sure of it. My reading teacher […]

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so destructive

by bella
written by bella

i hurt everyone i concern myself with

this guy likes me, he is 3 years older than me.

he told me and asked me out, and i didn’t know how to respond because i do like him, but he is too kind and good for me, i would only damage him.

so i said no, his friends had been dumping a load of shit on me saying that he is really distraught about it and stuff.

i a can’t help but feel a pang in my heat everytime anything is mentioned about him. i wish i could be with him, but it’s not good for him.

i started getting better… […]

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Coma White

by Miss.Mayhem
written by Miss.Mayhem

“There’s something cold and blank
behind her smile
She’s standing on an overpass
In her miracle mile

You were from a perfect world
A world that threw me away today
Today to run away

A pill to make you numb
A pill to make you dumb
A pill to make you anybody else
But all the drugs in this world
Won’t save her from herself”

I relate to these lyrics so well. Experiencing different drugs to escape from myself. But all the drugs in the world won’t save me from myself.

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