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I have been thinking more frequently about killing myself day by day. And finally when it seems like I have a perfect plan and can end everything I am know doubting whether I should or not.
The last time I attempted, I was positive it was the right thing to do. I wanted to be gone forever and had thought it all the way through.
This time I am unsure yet still feel that I need to follow through. My life is pointless, I am not going to contribute to society. I don’t do anything. After attempting and being put in a psych ward my work […]
missing you…
no matter what happens…
but letting go
cuz its really over
missing you…
every time
but i rather not think about it
missing you…
realizing its actually over
realizing its been over
its ganna be awhile
only thought of you as a good guy
never the bad.
when im acting like im a jerk
it means
i am getting over…
ill be on my highest guard…
ill be surprised if act as a different person…
ill be shocked if say hi…
it will take me awhile to get comfortable again
it will take me awhile to show again
it will take me awhile to say hi again
awhile to be honestly open again
i know i created the mistakes…
i know i don’t deserve the chances
i know
i get it.
Guilty […]
I’m not sure what to say..
Everything feels like a really bad nightmare..
I just want to forget..
Pretend like this never happened..
My friend didn’t kill himself..
I want him to come back..
My friend Ryan Diaz shot himself yesterday.. needless to say.. he’s dead.. I still feel like its a bad dream.. and he’s gonna be back at school, smiling at everyone, and saying “You look like you’ve seen a ghost!” They announced his suicide today at school.. I don’t understand how anyone there was functioning.. I don’t understand how anyone could move.. I kept crying.. I couldn’t stop.. they had a room […]
Studying to be a nurse, and we had a session in class where the topic had to do with suicide. Understandable when my country has a high rate of male suicide. But the atmosphere in the room got sooo intense that I could feel my heart throbbing. I just wanted to get out of the room but I was cornered by objects!
I noticed that those in the room who did not dare to speak (including myself) were ones that have experienced this, or knows a friend whose attempted to commit suicide or has even died. 2 people walked out of the room crying! I know […]
“I wish I were with you, but I couldnt stay. Every direction leads me away. Pray for tomorrow, but for today, All I want is to be home. Stand in the mirror, You look the same. Just looking for shelter from cold and the pain. Someone to cover, safe from the rain. All I want is to be home. Echoes and silence, Patience and grace. All of these moments, I’ll never replace. No fear of my heart, Absence of faith. All I want is to be home. People I’ve loved, I have no regrets. Some I remember, Some I forget. Some of them living, Some of them […]
Talking to the wall/air/teddy/cat is much more comfortable and easier than talking to someone in person.
Even though it sounds bit crazy, but think about it. Because whenever I get the chance to talk to someone about what’s going on, they respond with words that I don’t want to hear. Or I’ve just lost that feeling of comfort! Whereas the other things, it just sinks right in to the object…
_Drains Away_
Im going to vent with this attatched. So i have been fighting with my ex, and hes really starting to get under my skin. I tried suffocating myself wensday night…and that dident work *obviously*…im sorry for any and all misspells in this my screen isent very well calibrated ;-; bye~
I think I’m just about done. Done with this all. Done with my life. Done with even trying to fix it. I just had a fight with my best friend. She was just about the most person I trusted and cared for. She said that she doesn’t want me anymore in her life because I “don’t care enough” about her. Those words really sting. She says I’m not there for her but truth is, she’s not there for me either. She was the only person I used to talk to about anything whenever I feel down and she’ll make me laugh instantly to cheer me […]
I think about dying. I want to be dead but i dont know if i could ever go through with it, i toy with the idea and all the bad things the medicine will never change…..
From a distance, I saw a girl alone, crying with her head on her knees. I watched the people walking past her and noticed no one stopped to see if she was alright, no one saw her at all. Her face, damp from tears and red from pain, had an uncanny familiarity. As I moved closer, I felt as if I had seen her somewhere before… walking down the street, in a park, or perhaps in a dream. As her eyes, darkened with sadness and abuse, met mine, I knew why I recognized her. Those were the eyes I saw every day. The ones that […]
It’s 4pm and I’m sitting here drinking liquid courage. I guess I’m just looking for suicidal people to talk to at this moment, because I like you lot.
I feel like you get it. Thanks.
Even though I’m more of a lurker, I’ve enjoyed the words I’ve had with some of you. You make me feel less crazy.
I feel like I snapped today, and now I should just get it over with. Because everyone thinks I’m mad at them but I’m not. I’m just mad at myself. And I wish I wasn’t out of tequila.
I guess I’m seeking a distraction right now.
i have no meaning. my mother never taught me anything valuable. only to sit quitely, and to have good grades. i suppose i have to find something meaningfull all by myself. i want to find something that will be worth living for. it could be anything, i dont care what it is just as long as i have a reason to live. if i dont have a reason i feel extremely lost. ha… im an idiot
And screwed up my hand from punching shit after taking too many prescription pills. I slept in my car. I’m tired, it’s always like trying to walk through quicksand. When I start questioning what the reward at the end will be, I realize it’s a big fuckin’ bag of dildos. We’re gonna die either way so why am I still struggling now? I wish somebody could just take me away from all of this, from myself, all the heartache, and make it better again. Everything’s just come apart at the seams, and I know I’m next.
I used to have it all.. I was popular, captain from my soccer team and I loved my life. Then I had some heart problems so I stayed home for an entire school year. Then I changed school and got bullied for an entire year, that’s when I got really depressed. I changed school again but had to redo 10th grade again, so now I’m 2 years older then the people in my class. I’m afraid I’m gonna get bullied again this school year.My parents won’t let me quit high school even though I’m 18. I hardly have any friends left. I got chronical fatigue […]
I’ve realized this pain is never ever going to stop. Its just going to keep cycling. I need an easy method. Ive tried pills several times and its obviously never worked. I can’t fail or be caught so i need something thats always effective. Please help. Oh and it must be quick!
As most of you may know i have been through some difficult times in my life, some were near world ending and seemed to cover me in sadness and depression.
But i endured all this and i drove forward with a little help from my friends. I traveled ireland and met some amazing people and i found a new calling in life. I met Jen and her son and fell in love again. We were engaged a few months ago.
Then we were in a car crash and they both died. I fell off the wagon and got pretty smashed, i spent a few days completely shitfaced.
When i found […]
Bah! I’ve survived.
Won’t be easy now that I know just how fucking horrifying the experience is. So much in fact, that my mind cannot comprehend the full intensity of it all now that it’s over. Well, just have to wait for my neck to heal and try again. Maybe this Sunday if all goes as planned, though it never does.
At least it wasn’t boring, and the many ‘effects’ i’ve suffered did leave me curious about the workings of the mind.
So, how’s everyone else been around here?
i put purple streaks in my hair, i like purple. sometimes i thinki cant change myself but i can change my hair, so if your feeling stuck why not dye/cut your hair? heres a picture…i dont think anyone can identify me from my chin right?
Dear Friend ,
Well , I’ve just created this and I don’t know if I’m doing this right. I’m thinking of using this as way to talk. Whoever reads this , I consider a friend. My name is Gabrielle , some call me Gaby. I’m 14 and I’ve recently found this and decided to make an account to use this as my escape so I want to thank The Suicide Project for this , I guess. I’ve began getting depressed at age 12 and it’s been 2 years. I self harm as […]