My Final Post, This is a goodbye to all my SP friends.

As most of you may know i have been through some difficult times in my life, some were near world ending and seemed to cover me in sadness and depression.

But i endured all this and i drove forward with a little help from my friends. I traveled ireland and met some amazing people and i found a new calling in life. I met Jen and her son and fell in love again. We were engaged a few months ago.

Then we were in a car crash and they both died. I fell off the wagon and got pretty smashed, i spent a few days completely shitfaced.

When i found my legs again the pain was unbearable, In my short 26 years i have had 2 great loves and both were taken from me, and one son taken as well. It is hard to describe the feeling, but it was not nice.

Then last week i decided i was going to kill myself. I went to the place i spent my childhood and started out down the long road to the River.

and our dog kept following me and i couldnt get him to stop, you see he is very silly and would be hit by a car for sure, so i had to tie him up, but it felt like he was trying to stop me, or let me know i didnt have to be alone.

As i walked all i could think about was how alone i was now, how the gods have played some cruel trick on me or something.

When i got to the river i found the tree that i was going to do the deed on, when i felt like seeing the spot i told Jane i loved her for the first time again, so i did. and when i was standing there i wasnt filled with sadness or regret or anger, only love.

Then i went to where i asked Jen to marry me, and it was the same, i even smiled despite everything, how could i give up when they would want to to fight on. How could i face them in the next life if i gave in.

I was broken before and i am broken again, But i will get better.

I quit my job and sold my place, I am leaving for india tomorrow and im goin to see the world, i need to find something worth fighting for again.

I want to love again. I will love again.

One_day, thanks for your friendship, you might be the best person i know. Nobody, sorry i couldnt help you more. Dawg, stay cool. EndoftheLine, sorry i never made that video in response, but i tried to help as best i could in the comment section.

Lucy4, duke and anyone else i met on here, i think im a better person because of everything we talked about.

I am broken, but the pain is a reminder of just how strong my love was.

I want that again. So Im going to find it!

You can reach me by email if anyone wants to talk.

Peace

Unique