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You said you didn’t want to go through this world without me, and I don’t want to do it without you.
I’m all alone now, I want to kill myself and be with you.
Te amo James
Can’t believe I’m posting here. Thought I was over all of this. I’m 42 now. Lifetime of depression, anxiety, anorexia, and bulimia. I had gotten to a point where I had left a bad marriage, bought my own car, own house, raising my child, and held a full time very difficult job. I decided to change shrinks 1 week ago who suggested I do “talk therapy.” I went to 1 apt and have essentially fallen apart since that apt. This was totally unexpected. Apparently, I’ve been trying to hold everything together all these years…just keep going, just keep going, and follow the routine is what […]
Apparently several studies have independently reached the conclusion that trans-fats are linked to depression. (http://www.smh.com.au/lifestyle/diet…127-1a6vy.html)
Quote:
Spanish researchers who followed 12,059 people over six years, analysing their diets, lifestyles and medical problems found those who ate the most trans fats, which are commonly found in pastries and fast food, had a 48 per cent higher risk of depression than those who did not eat trans fats.
I find this intriguing because I googled such a link after knowing that
1) trans-fats have been known to substitute for DHA in the body (thereby lowering DHA levels) and in the brain, when mice were fed experimental diets from […]
I’m in a very desperate position. I want to kill myself someone please help me, I have no one to talk to. I wear this mask to hide my pain but as a result no one knows me and I feel so alone all the time, I have no one. My parents are well were abusive drunks but now since I’m old enough to protect myself they think they can but my love with shiny objects. I hate them, I hate most people, and I’m filled with pain and confusion. I cut my self daily I’m an alcoholic and I’m only 17 years old. I […]
I do not pretend I am not in pain when I walk through the halls of the university. Then again people do believe I am full of life, energy and charisma but what they do not know is the reason I come every day with long sleeves to the university. I am done with the concept of living for I know death is already part of my consciousness. I will not go to my Judo classes with long sleeves anymore and suffocate. I will not enter a classroom and pretend the murmur of the people talking to one another does not cause me paranoia.
Should I […]
please if anyone is out there help me, if anyone has a decent enough heart please help me. I can’t keep living like this, I can’t keep living with this abuse. Please I need help I need help. I’m going to kill myself and I don’t want to I can’t leave my baby turtle all by himself. I’m so scared and no one will believe me no one listens. My own dad has turned my whole family against me. He keeps lying and lying and lying. No one fucking loves me anymore. My friends won’t help me I’m going to get kicked out of my […]
Eternal sunshine of a spotless mind,
I pray for ignorance and bliss,
Where no thought can smudge my sight,
And memories can’t make you cry,
If only forgetfulness turned to pleasure,
And remeberance my only blunder,
The world might seem a brighter place,
So be kind and let me live my,
Eternal sunshine of a spotless mind
there is one person, who i always consider my brother. sometimes more then my brother. today i went to meet him.
he said that on tuesday he will go and meet my ex girlfriend and try to get back us together.
now guys, i dont know whether i should listen to him or not. coz he is been telling me the same thing for last 4 months. and every passing day is making my life more and more worse.
and plus its valentine on tuesday, which will bring back many many painfull memories.
guys, please tell me what to do? should i listen to him?
 To what_Is_Love13, the time will come when we shall all become angels,
just dont go on your own yet, for you are not alone.
what is love? love is you,
love is when someone reaches out and touches you..
~
Laura Elisabeth Rhodes
1991 ~2004
Laura’s Last words.
“I waited for my mother to walk in. “Laura, I am sick of running up and down these stairs,
now get up.” I would look at her
“What is wrong now?” “My tummy hurts and I feel sick”.
“It […]
Do we try to help those who are suffering because we actually care.. or do we actually try to help and comfort those who are in pain because we wish somebody once did that for us.?
help someone > we help ourselves , so does this make us altruistic or selfish?
Attila The Hun
If you don’t know the short story, look it up…
I’m always alone, or left alone, the people that supposedly care about me, do absolutely nothing to stop this pain. I’m always told to move on with life. WHAT LIFE? I have nothing left, no way to continue education or getting a job, my credit was completely destroyed by my own school, and my education opportunity completely destroyed by my ex. They take everything from me, but I’m not allowed to be angry, or depressed?! They steal money and people’s lives, and I’m not allowed to do anything to fight back? Why do they get rewarded […]
As a child, I always thought that everyone hated me, that the little kindness they showed to me was out of sense of commitment. This is strictly concerneing my family though, I never felt this from strangers. Members of my family abused me sexualy and when I went to the other members for help they dismissed me, as a reuslt I never trusted family. As I grew I realised that family really felt mostly a sense of commitment except two of them. I remember telling myself in my youth I would either die crazy or kill myself, since I was 10 earliest I remember and […]
Each day I feel more insecure and ashamed of myself. I see my scars. I hate my scars, but I continue to cut. I regret it the next day and I get angry at myself.. and what do I do to release the anger, I cut. It’s like an on going cycle. I used to swim and play sports, but now I avoid public places.. and continue to hide who I really am. There is so much behind my fake smile.
I’m terrible at expressing my feelings in person.. I just choke up.. I feel like I will be judged or rejected. I want […]
I’d rather be raped again, than to be associated with this ungrateful world, at least while I’m being raped, I know that someone actually wanted ‘me’…
I don’t think I can go on anymore I’m tired of losing people around me. People think I’m crazy “WHAT’S WRONG WITH ME?”. Please some one help me
Today was a great day, celebrated my nephew’s birthday with family and friends. Now I’m home alone and all I can think about is how much I hate being alive. I am drinking knowing that it only makes things worse…but I can’t help it. It gives me the sense that my thoughts are just caused by the alcohol…that it’s not me…but I know the truth. I’m alone…there’s a loaded gun in my drawer. I think about how easy it is to just…
I love my family, I know they love me…I have everything I could ever want, but I don’t…can’t appreciate it all. I just […]
I am new to this. I don’t want to talk to my friends or family because they will worry I might do something stupid. And I will be honest, the thought has crossed my mind. But the real issues are how I continually get into a situation where I care SO MUCH about someone and they end up using me for my generosity and my kindness. Omg I could write a freaking book! I am just so tired of being the nice guy when all everyone else sees you as a welcome mat. Oh hi, you’re convenient, I’ll be nice til I wear you down […]
i love you so much, but where are you? Hurry up and meet me you fuck. Hurry up and save me cant you see life is slipping? And time is ticking? Let’s not waste a moment. I don’t known your there. So prove me wrong. Come out of hiding and love your little punk Rick princess your little junkie masterpiece. Because I kinda need you now. Everyone else keeps telling me I’m worthless, or I’m a ***** or a ****. Tell me I’m pretty and be my valentine. That’d be nice of you. I mean I’m pretty enough. I want you to tell me I’m […]
It’s weird how thing have gotten better, but it’s also weird how I now notice people. It feels like everyone is now down at the level I was but I really think that I just didn’t notice people back then because I was too focused at myself.
Sometimes it seems to me my blood gushes
like a fountain, in rhythmic sobs,
I hear it flowing with long murmurs,
but I grope in vain to find the wound.
All across the city, as in a field of honour,
it spills out, transforming paving stones to islands,
quenching Every creature’s thirst and painting all nature red.
Often I have asked strong wine to numb for a day the terror consuming me: