General

Life is just so difficult, and I am trying to live threw it. Its so hard. I hurts knowing that no ones there. Well there are people but you have no way to contact them. It hurts me knowing that my life is getting worst and worst every day. I try so hard to live a normal life like everyone thinks I do. I don’t . I am so hurt with the life I’m living. My family wants me to be normal. I am ME. I am normal. It just hurts . A LOT.

Why am I the one who has to be depressed, why me?

sometimes i feel like if i kill myself no one will care.
that’s why i feel lik it’s not worth it anymore.

I fancy myself an artist, though I don’t think it will ever become anything more than a hobby and cathartic release.

However, the last few months, I haven’t drawn or painted anything really. I just haven’t felt that old spark of inspiration lately. It’s kinda been bumming me out.

BUT…

I finally had an idea. I finally made something today. It’s a rather childish peice, but I don’t really care. I’m just glad I was actually able to finish something for once. 🙂

 

To whom it may concern,

about 6 years ago I was at the peak of my drug use. I started smoking pot when I was 14. By the time I was 18, I was smoking it every day.

And as it turned out, I was smoking more than just pot. A lot of the time it was laced with other things. From cocaine to heroin. I always thought these kinds of drugs were too expensive to add to something like weed.

Well, time passed and someone told me that what I was liking so much was the heroin and he set me up with a small bag for […]

sorry not sure if this is a right place to be in..

umm my names max, i just had another fight with my dad, i cant even run away or have my own time..its so small here i have no choice to get this shit..

idk if i wanna kill myself..i think im just too scared, cuz im tired of this, i see no point in living anymore, everyone arround me smiles and i join them, but in my room i cant stop shredding tears..i try to explain simple stuff to people and they just scream over me like they know everything..nobody understands me..

everyones putting pressure on […]

Does anyone on here suffer from BOTH Bipolar (I or II) and ADHD?  I used to take Adderall for ADHD for years and it dramatically helped with focus and energy. Initially, I  saw a pdoc for depression only but after mixed results with several antidepressants  and my telling her that I was diagnosed ADHD as a child, she added Adderall. It worked wonders for quite sometime for energy and focus but only mildly improved my depression. Recently I went through a major manic episode and now know that I am Bipolar. I had been off all meds for a month or two prior to the […]

How many minutes must I think about how much despair I am in?
How many hours must I spend online look for help with my suicidal feelings,
to try and fool myself into thinking I don’t want to?
How many days must I miss out on life because I don’t have to motivation
to tell myself it’s worth it?
How many nights must I cry myself to sleep hoping that things will get better?
How many weeks must I suffer until I realize that I need to get help?
How many months must I bottle everything up until it all becomes too much?
How many […]

okay so this year was my 1 year as  a freashman. goin in to a couple weeks it was goin fine .then one day it all started in my stomach. my stomach would make wierd noises like was hungry .so stopped comming to school i would miss almost eveeyday because of my stomach. then my mom took me to the doctors to see what i had i would tell them my stomach hurts then they found out i had anxiety(social anxiety).they made me go back to school,i would cry and pretty much had a mental breakdown every morinin because i didnt wanna go to schoolthe […]

I need a gun. Fuck. I just need a gun.

If you want to, I will to pray for you.

It might not seem much, but I do beileve in this.

This is what Jesus says:
“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.”
Matthew 11:28-30

If you want to, email me and I will pray for you.

kacharay@yahoo.co.uk

I just want people to be honest with me. I want somebody to come up to me and say “Hey listen…there’s nothing you can do. You are going to have to deal with your depression for the rest of your life. You can’t get rid of it. It will come and go as it pleases.”

I’m just tired of false hope and all the BS people keep telling me. Like you should have hope and you have a purpose and things will get better when you are going to college. Why would college do such a thing? I’m socially awkward and I hate having a lot […]

I have tried to commit suicide 3 times. The first two attempts were by rope and the 3rd attempt was with medications and alcohol. The 2nd attempt resulted in me being send to a mental hospital, where I am currently and have been for 3 months now. But that doesn’t cure me of the thoughts. I feel much worse  and I’m experiencing so much inner unrest now, that i have difficulties sleeping  or thinking on anything else than death. I can’t see how this could be worth anything. Already I’m planning a new attempt that hopefully will be much more successful. TTT – Things take […]