Practise makes perfect

I have tried to commit suicide 3 times. The first two attempts were by rope and the 3rd attempt was with medications and alcohol. The 2nd attempt resulted in me being send to a mental hospital, where I am currently and have been for 3 months now. But that doesn’t cure me of the thoughts. I feel much worse  and I’m experiencing so much inner unrest now, that i have difficulties sleeping  or thinking on anything else than death. I can’t see how this could be worth anything. Already I’m planning a new attempt that hopefully will be much more successful. TTT – Things take time