For general topics related to the site.
My therapist sent me to a hospital for being “off the chart high risk suicidal”. So I spent a week there, got transfered to an adoloescent psych ward at another hospital and stayed for 3 weeks there. They put me on an antidepressant that doesn’t do anything
What a waste of time. Also my mom kicked me out once I got discharged… I need to switch high schools as im living in another city with my dad now.. I’m ending it soon
(╯°□°）╯︵ â”»â”â”» *flips table in rage*
┬──┬ ノ( ゜-゜ノ) *puts it back*
thought i might share it with you guys c:
Is it just me or is Christmas the most depressing time of the year??
So I think, I’ll just bash my head against the wall. See what they do. See if my school calls me crazy. See if anyone tries to stop me. Why not?
Last week I just broke their computer. They were still nice to me. They didn’t care. This week I’ll break myself. See if they still care.
Thought it might explain a few things if I posted it…
You wanted a long email…
So I’ll write you one. But it won’t be a good one. I’ll tell you everything. I’ll tell you why I can’t talk to you, why I feel the need, to make it seem like I’m dead. Why I hate myself so much. Why I want to die.
I’m too much of a burden. Maybe you don’t think so, but you don’t get it. You can’t feel the guilt I feel. You don’t know how unhappy I am right now. It’s not just sad. It’s worse than sad. You can’t understand it. […]
Who is gonna last another year.
I dunno if i can bare it
wow the nigth the dead silence except the rain beating the windows in the blackness and i cnat sleep and all i do is dwell on the past and then i get up and cut myself take some nightquill try to sleep and stiull cna its bullshit i just want to fucking die and i dont have the balls enough to kill myself but dman if i dont think aobut it everyday well ig euss ile be tired tomorrow fuck this life
Rogue Shadow.
Considered a demon, but just a living shadow. He has many similarities to Nathan. He’s a shadow, no one sees him. He makes no noise when he creePs. People fear what kind of fucked up head he has. And maybe they are evil. They do always show their crazy side at midnight, esPecially on full moons…
Mr_Sebastior: I always enjoyed speaking to you. How crazy have your thoughts been?
Javier: The satanist phase, want to explain what exactly a satanist believes and whatnot.
SP Admin.: Don’t mind this post, I’m not a harm to myself or others… Yet.
Jamiejajamie: If you were to read […]
Soul of Christ, Sanctify me
Body of Christ, Save me
Water from the side of Christ, Wash me
Passion of Christ, Give me strength
Hear me Jesus, Hide in my thy wounds
that I may never leave thy side
From all the Evil that surrounds me, defend me
and when the call of Death arrives, bid me come to thee
that I may praise thee with thy saints,
forever.
It all started in 8th grade, I started cutting. But to be honest I only cut because I wanted the attention. Until soon enough like crack it was a addiction. And I was not about to give that addiction up. I loved that addiction I loved seeing the blood whip down my arm. The scratches started of at almost know blood until they soon got worse and blood would drip down my arm taking hours to stop.
I knew something was wrong because I never felt so sad and hopeless until the addiction started in. I started thinking life was whatever. . I didn’t listen […]
That someday I’d be someone. Someday I’d help people. I guess I’m beginning to see that with my poems. A lot of people seem to relate to them. That’s cool. At least I’m not alone.
But it’s too bad, that every time, I fail to help myself. I’ve always been good at taking care of other people. I guess I had Kyle for that. Never been too good of taking care of myself. You kind of get to lose yourself in other people. I guess I’ve always liked that.
Lately, it seems, at least in the real world, all I seem to do is cause pain. Like […]
Did you delete your last post.? I think your sister generality give’s a shit about you. Pay here the same respect.?
” Who are you to judge the life I live?
  I am not perfect and I don’t have to be!
  Before you start pointing fingers, make sure your hands are clean.”
i hate living in this stupid and worthless society.. i cannot find anything interest in this life , all i have found so far is pain and tears. i tried many this to make myself happy but nothing worked. am i the only one feeling like this?? i can feel myself fading everyday.. little by little i am losing the grip…i have isolated myself from others. i need a someone who feels just like me… s.tck40@yahoo.com if u like drop me a message 940772625250
Feeling even lower and lower…group sucked today,talking about BPD and mainly about how it affected the people in their lives and how THEY could cope. Also talked about how therapists need help dealing with us psychos. Sorry,if you signed up for that job,you shouldn’t be complaining about how miserable the people who are paying your bills are making you feel.
 I posted on the helium post,I am “testing” a tank and have some questions. if anyone else is familiar with the research,please message me or reply to my post there. No,Im not doing anything at the moment,just research. Though this weekend is going to suck […]
December 22, 2011
I’ve been fascinated by this site for a while so I thought I would give it a try.
Strangely though when I tried registering, this appeared:
ERROR: Invalid IP address.
ERROR: Speedy Gonzales was here.
ERROR: Registration stopped by Sabre.
What’s with Speedy Gonzales? and Sabre?
Anyway, I suppose I’m supposed to say a little bit about myself.
I’ve been depressed for the past 4 or 5 years with repeated feelings of inadequacy and insecurity. I’ve deduced that these feelings stemmed from my mom urging me to get high grades back then when I was younger and continuously comparing me to my much smarter peers. Now however, she […]
First I’d like to point out that I have had both my grandfather and a close girlfriend commit suicide, my girlfriend did so with a gun while I was on the phone with her back in 2007. I spend an ample amount of time alone now, because I have nobody to be around, no one to talk to. My thoughts continue to poison me more with every moment. A girl that I believe I have a crush on now, who knows the way that I feel has no time for me. I was browsing several suicide prevention sites yesterday, doing everything I could to deceive […]
Under Anesthesia you just don’t sleep you lose consciouness it self. I remember when i was a kid going under. Say remember. I don’t remember shit.
Anesthesia take’s away consciouness. No dreaming No anything. I guess that’s what being dead is like.?
Ok so you are not conscious. But not dead. (my body.) I mean. Still functional. Anesthesia take’s away consciouness. So my subconscious kick’s in.?
Doctor’s shine a light in you eye’s to see they dilate. If they don’t that mean’s you dead.
I’m trying to find out if you are under anesthesia dose this still happen.? I think it dose. (sub conscious.) So i’ve googled it and all i’m […]
Tonight.. I lay in my room thinking. Thinking, about cutting. How lush it would feel, to bite into my skin. Feel a little, bleed a little. And the thought is so relaxing.
No, I can’t do it. I said I’d stop. I have to get better.
But I do. Oh, I do. Things just got worse, and old habits die hard. Weapon of choice? A pocket knife. A present from old paps. One he made me swear never to use against myself. So it’s funny father, isn’t it? How after all these years you’ve still managed to find some way to hurt me.
Small but deep. I think I cut through most of […]
‘life is a butterfly, one day it’s just going to spread it’s wings and fly away’
I know that doesn’t make much sense, I wanted it to come across as everybody Is going to die. I’ve been suicidal for a while now…. I self harm and I have OCD. Most of the suicidal thoughts come when I’m really pissed off from OCD related things, teachers at school know and I think that they attempted to help me, they also told my parents which hasnt helped much. Life just feels hopeless at the moment… I’ve researched suicide so many times until I finally came across this […]
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