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-MyChoice

hi. i am 18 years old.. i live with my guardian as they don have child they took me.. but now they don like me even my parents.. i have a boy friend he is my dream but i am not his dream now.. 2 years of our love i think he is bored, he is least bother about me. my parents and guardian don even consider me as a human being.. for what hell they gave birth to me.. for what hell my guardian took me.. i don need anybody.. there is no loving heart near me.. even my man don care me.. Is […]

Hi, I’m Hailee. I’m a teenager and I’m going through a rough time right now. Even though on the outsid it may seem like my life is perfect, it’s not. In my small town people are quick to judge you on any idea that they view as “wrong” so naturally many children of my age often become discouraged. Some even get to my point and then there is the worst the ones that lose hope. I have lost hope a handfull of times, yes that means I have attempted suicide. I know for a fact that sometimes it seems like all you can do to […]

I’ve been lurking on this site for three years now. I know I made a username at one point, maybe posted once or twice, but that was so long ago that I can’t remember.

It doesn’t really matter, anyway.

I wish I were dead.

I’ve been drawing strange pictures in my calculus book lately. I drew a picture of a girl, hanging in a tree. By her neck. A friend saw it, suggested that I erase it. I said I would. I never did.

I drew a picture of the same girl drowning on another page.

Crying, on another page.

Words and phrases like “Fuck everything,” “Please kill me,” “I mean […]

Im 27, a text book daughter without a father, died when I was 5.

I thought he was the one…the one that would see the value in me…to fill that space I need so much to be filled. Im tired of walking around with just this shell…like a puppet, smile when Im suppose to smile, laugh when Im suppose to laugh. He filled me…I only wish someone loved me as much as I loved him…was my unconditional love not enough? I would kill for that….thats all I have ever wanted.

Why cant anyone see that…see me? Where the f*ck are all my “friends” when they know Im […]

Slowly pulling off the glue, from the mask I wore to school. No one
Looks..They won’t find me. I pull it off like a star shining bright
But I deal so hard with the fronts and the shame. With my mask off
They could tell, remove my honor, my tickets wouldn’t sell. The
Performance of a prince.
Why. Do I decide to wear these gloves there’s nothing I have done to
show off a brand new beast. Why. Do I choose to wear this mask,
everyday I make it last, but just to what they’ll think I never take
it off for anyone but me.

When I was in High School I always thought about suicide. I guess I was your average angsty  teenager that was going through the divorce of my parents and couldn’t get a date. I would sit in my room for hours so angry at everything and everybody just wanting to kill myself so bad. Now that I’m a little bit older I can see how naive and stupid I was back then. I didn’t really want to kill myself back then, I don’t think I even really want to kill myself now.  I just can’t find a good enough reason not to kill myself.

I am […]

I tried commiting scuicide and i still want to, my fucking best freind that i loved talked me out of it, so i promised her i would never do it. So, i started cutting myself and she told me she was cring becuz of it, i would never live with  myself if i made my bestest freind cry so i stopped that to. I didnt have a computer at the time so it was hard for us to combersate, so all i wanted for christmas was a little netbook so i can talk to her, it was just for her. I hate going on computers […]

i was standing there with all my friends.

i was dancing there with all my friends.

we laughed.

we talked.

we laughed some more.

it wasnt a dream.

i have photos upon my wall.

i moved schools.

i moved away.

but i came back.

i came back regularly.

and we would still see each other.

we would all still laugh.

we would all still dance to the music.

we talk and share our secrets.

then one day i realised.

im standing alone.

they dont need me anymore.

they have better friends.

they can dance and laugh and talk with other people.

but they were all i had.

so i was left with nothing.

so i am standing here with nothing.

so i am standing here alone.

and its hurting […]

Janie’s Got A Gun?
I wish I had a gun too.

No matter how hard I try to be happy, I can’t.
At the end of the day, well, at 4 in the morning, I crawl into my bed and cry.
Everyone calls me the attention seeker.
They don’t give a shit about me.
Or if I die.
But I don’t wanna die.
Not yet.
I want to disappear and go to Heaven for a day or two,
Spend time with God.
But I want to live.
But I can’t.
It’s confusing.
I feel dead.
If I feel dead why should I live?
I hate mom […]

I haven’t had a nightmare in a long time.

I thought I was making progress, getting out of the house a little more, getting to know people, to trust them. This dream though, it seems like it has taken me back 1,000 steps in the process, like all that I was doing to get myself back on the right track and away from those suicidal thoughts has just been shot to hell.

I was back at school and winter break had just ended which meant new classes and I was on my way to my second hour which was way out in one of these little trailers […]

I’ve always known that i do not belong among the living. i dont hate the world, and the world doesn’t hate me. Its the people in it that will eventually force my hand to cut deeper than ever before.

I may be giving too many details, yet as I said before I don’t know what’s next I tend to go through life with out a plan.

I’m a 27 year old college student. The reason why I’m 27  years old is because I had a job for the last 7 years working in education and although the money was eventually great (85,000/year).  I knew I wanted out because I hate what I did for a living.  I lied and cheated my way through community college and got an awesome GPA.  (and when I said I lied and cheated, I really mean that I lied and […]

ive been wanting to try suicide, but i kno that it would ruin my families lives, i often think about it everyday thinkin of different scenarios of how and where i should do it. i have a best friend/brother that said he would be there for me whenever i needed to talk about it but ive tried and he never is able to listen and sometimes i just dont tell him because im scared of what would happen if i do. everytime im stressed or depressed or if something goes wrong and i just start acting suicidal i cut. i like the way that it […]

I haven’t seen your posts for a while even though I don’t come here so often. I just wanna know if you are alright. Missing you around here.

Hi All

Long time reader second time try! First time I tried was years ago and as you can guess went wrong,

now 10 years later, I reached the conclusion I should have put more thought into it. I am planing to end it on 04/01/2011

So I have choosen, jumping off a bridge as my first choice, the bridge I have chosen in in the middle of the city

it is roughly 80 meters high, so a head first crash should do it I guess, now I flunked physics in the college and became a bussness man

so I am not sure a how does a human body move […]

Am trying so hard today. Have had to act all day and am mentally exhausted. My mum’s new boyfriend has been over all day and is staying over til about 5 tomorrow. My mum and brother aren’t around tomorrow, so is just me and him. Fun. Have just has an argument over tea, just because I said I wasn’t hungry. Am so fed up of this shit.

i wish we knew for certain if decemeber 21 2012 is really going to happen. I don’t have the balls to kill myself so I’m hoping this doomsday will just happen. Or maybe I’ll get into a car accident or accidentally get murdered. Life is nothing but an excuse of empty promises. Fuck my life.