I have been dealing with suicidal depression for over a year now. I’m 18 I no longer live at home due to some family issues and am currently living with my sister who I split rent with. I have a full time job as a cashier, I go to college, and overall am a very busy person. I am actually adopted from a family of drug addicts. My birth dad left my mother when I was born and she did some drugs while pregnant. This caused me to have a form of high functioning Autism called Aspergers (AD) syndrome, ADHD, and OCD. Some of the […]
Category:
Rants
I’m engaged. She’s the most beautiful person in the world. But I feel so fuckin alone like.. I no she’s the one for me. Recently her roommate don’t like me and made me move out so I did just that . we’ve grown distant quickly. Three days I’ve been back at my grandmothers house. And she has broken promises and knows of my problems… She’s driving me over the edge …yes I’ve told her…and I beg of her not to keep hurting me… But …she doesn’t care… Not text no calls back she’s slowly breaking me know in I’m fucked up in the head… Why […]
Im female, I’m 14 and have been self harming for 3yrs now. I was raped 5 times all by different people, beat by my step mom, ignored by my father, and I have tried to kill myself countless times. I have a few close friends that know what I’ve gone through and I have a girlfriend who is completely oblivious to the shit I’ve gone through… I just wanted to put a brief summary of my story out there so people know that sometimes it could be worst. Try and stay strong
There comes a time in someones life where things hit rock bottom, then you think you are as far as you can get when you are wrong.
What I mean by this is things get worse when you think the possibilities of life getting worse are next to nothing and they can only get better, well I bring you news life can get worse then you think it could.
So today this is my suicidal note and goodbye for the world, today is the day everything is going to end for me.
I have been hospitalised three times for cutting, (in attempt to commit.)
This time it’s going to […]
Has any completed or started doing ECT? (Electroconvulsive Therapy )
I’m pretty much giving up on the “normal” forms of treatment. I know 15 different meds and 15 different psychiatrists might not seem like a lot to some people on here but I feel I have already suffered enough as a result of those treatment options.
At this point if I do go back to “normal” treatments I have a list of antidepressants I cannot take based off of genetic testing and I will absolutely refuse to take a mood stabilizer again because if I do take one I’ll probably be dead withing 2 weeks […]
lately my mental health hasn’t been too well.
i feel like i’m wearing a mask.
i am the happy and energetic person with my friends, but when i get home it’s like i’m a totally different person.
i always feel so unhappy and i feel like there’s something missing.
it took me a lot of courage to actually type this out.
i’ve started self-harming
i’m surprised no one has noticed all the scratches on my wrist, but i’ve been trying to hide it.
i’ve gone from scratching myself with fingers and biting myself
to pazors and compass points
but i want something more
i want to cut, but
i don’t want to see the blood
see all […]
Ever since I was born, I have always been a shy person. I would try to ignore my own feelings to help others. In fact, I was forced to at such a young age since my friends were all a few months younger than me. Therefore, since I was the eldest, I was the one who got reprimanded and to my young mind, did everything wrong. This idea was reinforced by my mother shouting at both me and my dad a lot. My dad and her yelled at each other every night. They tried to hide it from me, but I was a poor sleeper. […]
I don’t have Internet connection on a regular basis so if I want to write a post for this site I have to pre-write it and save it fir when I do have Internet. This is a bummer in one way because if I don’t have my laptop the next time I get Internet I can’t post it or if I have it on my flash drive but only have my cell phone the next time I have Internet then I can’t post it either.
So, now that I have that all explained away, I suppose I will update those who care or are even […]
We are on different sides on the globe. She agreed to let me fly to her place for a few days. After that I learned I’m unloved, as usual.
She’s suicidal and have emotional problems. But she has an interesting life and all sorts of exciting experience. I have nothing.
I’m 25 years old and I’ve never been in a long relationship.
I have a stable 9-6 job. I have a master degree. I have good friends and family. I’ve always been a good student, employee, friend, and daughter. I excel in many areas but romantic life.
Don’t fucking ask me to just focus on other areas in life […]
Sometimes i feel it would be just so much easier to give in to temptation… to let the blade make me forget everything i worry about. Every now and then i wonder why i put myself through all this grief and stress when i could make it all go away and never have to worry about a single thing ever again… bad late night thoughts that haunt me.
I feel bad right now.. I keep doing bad things, but suddenly sometimes I get a moment of clear mind, I feel guilty from what I’ve done. But later on when my mind is hazy, I’ll start doing those bad things again.. The hell is wrong with my brain. I don’t want to do it yet here I am. I hate my own self. I hate my own indecisiveness. I gradually become worsen, am I not? I need to maintain my good side for the sake of my family and friends, while in an other side, I practically became darker and darker. T-T how should […]
…back at home. And tonight for what I believe is the third time in four daysI have had to call rhe local police department to aks them to check the area for this female that continues to come to our bedroom window at night and call out to my man. She calls him by name, taps on the window, flashes a light into our room and just pesters the fuck out of me if I’m in the room or does whatever it is she does with/to my man when I am not in the room. The difference between the last two times I have called […]
Will it ever end? Will it ever stop? I have so many questions and no answers for any of them. I have no idea what anyone else reality is but i can tell you for sure that mine is shit. I have absolutely nothing to stand on, no foundation or stable ground that I can always rely upon for safety or otherwise. Does anyone know what i am talking about?
I seem to chase away everyone that I love because I am so tired of hurting them all of the time. Every emotion that I have comes across as angry, even when I am hurt […]
Humanity cannot be happy. The developed countries have higher suicide rates, possibly because humans have not adapted to life in the first world. For example, people chop down trees so they can wipe their asses. Surely, one would think that there would be consequences. First world countries have toilets filled with water, where there are other countries that are dry and impoverished. Many countries are rubbish, and other countries are busy making technologies that help destroy the planet just the same. The best way to be happy is to be an ignoramus, and even then, stupid people often tend to be emotional and violent.
I’m a loser , I am a loser in this cruel boring LIMITED real world , reality , real life
by niki
written by niki
I’m a loser , I am a loser in this cruel boring LIMITED real world , reality , real life .. !
I am a 33 years old Asian guy, who used to have so many beautiful hope & dreams ,
and many people have told me that I’m a smart, multi talent , very creative, & wise person
but now the more I see this cursed world, people, humans beings, and this reality, the more I lose hope in humanity , losing hope in human beings, and also lose hope in myself & my future
you see ,.. Reality / real world / real […]
As if I’ll open up to any of you anymore, you lying bastards who all said I was fine as me, better even, then turned your backs the moment I needed someone? I’d rather post anonymously on a site of suicidal people than trust any of you.
I need to provide for my girls, my cats, the only two living creatures to love me unconditionally. When that’s settled, it’s over. I will have peace. And you can celebrate my death all you want.
It’s time. I’m done.
An orange rots from the inside out. The outside may be in pristine condition, but upon cutting it open you may find nothing but mold.
Maybe that’s what’s been happening to my mind. My memory has been getting worse. My desire for life is diminishing even more, if that were possible. I’m starting to care less and less about the risk and consequence of my death. On the outside, however, I am as normal as can be to most people.
Yes, to most people. Other than the person who (sadly) saved me from death during my last attempt, most people involved had put it away, […]
Some of my earliest memories are of my mother giving me up for adoption ( I was classified as a ‘child in need’). As I child, I didn’t realize she had given me up, I merely thought I was staying with family for a while. I remember two different families I stayed with for some time. The first family I stayed with, the V’s, I can barely remember. The V’s were nice, but were more interested the other child there than they were with me. The one I remember the most, lets call them the ‘D’s’, were my second family. I loved the […]
This could be a trigger so I ask people who have tendencies to skip this.
I would just like to ask for opinions, thoughts, anything. So if anyone would like to reply, please go ahead. This is not a post about hope but about suicide.
I am 21, I am far from being young and I am far from having what you would call a hard life. I have a degree from uni, I have a roof above my head and all that shit. Yet I still want to die, there is nothing for me to live for. i am a waste of space to everyone around […]
Do you agree with this view: “Depression is the illness of civilization, without civilization, we’d be happy: We’d be happy without depression. Without depression we would not have the beautiful arts: novels, plays, paintings. If we were happy we wouldn’t need the arts. Without our depression happiness as a concept would not exist”.
https://todayistblogger.wordpress.com/2015/02/17/depression/