My name is Zach, I’m 15 years old, and I can’t tell you how many times I’ve tried to kill myself, because I lost count. I know that what I’ve been through is nothing compared to what others have been through, but I feel that doesn’t make it any less valid or painful. My parents got separated Christmas of 2010. Before you explode with the injustice of that date, don’t worry, I’m not Christian, so it wasn’t THAT bad. However, it was the first time something actually went wrong for me. A year passed, and I didn’t really get over it. I started thinking about […]
Category:
Rants
The ‘no harm in trying’ spell no longer works to motivate me. I think of my failures, how it became almost constant, and I just lose faith in any light of hope.
Now, there is ‘no point in trying’ at all. Everything isn’t worth it anymore.
Living in a country in which the majority of its people has very little, if any, empathy on ‘suicide’, I really don’t think killing myself is gonna change anything. People do not care.
I’m stuck. So badly. I just can’t go on.
Well well…seems like every time I take a trip down memory lane to this site, there’s oodles of new people and none of my old friends left…I wonder if they ever visit? Anyway, hey guys. Name’s Blake SinBad and I thought I’d let you know that I’m always open to talk or vent to if you need a hand or someone to listen to you. Totally free from judgement of any sort. I promise.
email: frejashinepaws@gmail.com
kik: xXFrejaShinePawsXx
Tumblr: just click on my link and use my ask box
Phone: HAHAHAAHAHHAHA no.
Sometimes I find that strangers are the best form of medicine…
I promise I’m not a […]
i wish everyone could see it that way…my body, my choice. if you were trapped in a hellish world wouldnt you want out?? why do i have to suffer so you dont have to? i hate myself, i hate everything about me. i am sick. i have legitimate diagnosis. why must i have to deal with them for the rest of my life?
yes there are ups and downs, but my downs are so bad and last so long the ups arent worth the pain of the downs. its my body, my choice. i should choose if i want to live or die. my life will […]
i always have this plan in the back of my head. a way out when things get too much. i have attempted in the past (tomorrow is my one year out of the psych ward! which is a huge accomplishment because i cannot tell you when the last time i made it a full year without some sort of admission). my plan is simple. find a favorite spot on a beautiful sunny cool day. find a bench or a place on the grass. drink the water bottle that i would have previously opened capsules of meds and dissolved in the water. and fade away in […]
I know you aren’t to bring religion onto this site, but it’s important in order to understand why this is hurting me.
I grew up in a strong Christian family. We always go to church and pray and follow the Bible. But that’s the problem. My family had their minds set on what was wrong and right, and they weren’t going to change what they thought. According to the Bible, two people of the same gender are not to be together. But that’s what depressed me.
I met this girl and to me, she was everything that I’ve ever wanted. But again, I was from a “Christian” […]
I am so tired. My method so easy. It’s just so unfair how easy, painless, and certain it will be.
I keep coming to the same two doorways. Both lead me here.
Behind one is that I am right and I am in fact good for nothing but working day in and day out. That I’m worth no more than what could be traded for money and in the long run, a comfortable place to enjoy loneliness in a body with genes that nobody would prefer to pass onto their least favorite kind of mushrooms.
Behind the second is that I am wrong and in fact crazy. That […]
I think the saddest part isn’t that a year ago at this time I thought I had it all figured out. The saddest part isn’t that the girl I love more than anything stopped waiting for me to find a way to get back to the same town so we could be together. I don’t even think the saddest part is that in the year I had to get things on the right track that few if any things worked in my favor. No, the saddest part is that I will be having a birthday in a few weeks, and that I will be 27 […]
I wanted to thank people at this site who have been so kind to me.
I have been diagnosed, at least in the past, with recurrent major depression. What makes it worse are the moments when I’m flying high, and I feel like I can accomplish all this stuff. Then I get anxious, and the anxiety transforms into a deep depression.
I have made it out of bed once today. No one can save me, and no one can even tell me what is wrong. I’m an adult, but I cannot seem to function like one. Actually, I can’t even function much like a human being anymore. […]
I don’t want to kill myself..I want to live my life and be happy. I’m trying so hard to hold it together but I’m fucking it all up. I have so much to live for it shouldn’t be this fucking hard to stand confident.
I finally met this beautiful girl that likes me and wants to spend time and she’s already catching on to my depression. I’ve shown enough good parts of myself to make her see I’m a great guy but I literally can’t control the way I feel when I’m all alone. I’m fucking this all up. No, No this can’t be me..it […]
Damn. It’s Hot. I hate this island. Nothing ever makes sense here. Everyone is smoking and drinking and killing cursing and…is happy. Why do buses filled with white people come here? Who in their right mind would want to come here? Avoid the groid! It’s so hot! Is this hell? Because everyone torments me with their jubilee while I am just devastated. I thought that If I preserved my memories they preserve me but they are just a mental horror movie. My childhood wasted. The real me Lost somewhere in between the beatings and loneliness and alienation. Why here!? Haha. Maybe I should run to […]
I had a surprising bout of anger, nearing a temper-tantrum, this morning. And what was it over? My missing hairbrush. Yeah thats low.
Its about the only thing I keep in the bathroom, it even has my name sharpied on it. I know it was there yesterday,when I didnt need it, but it isnt there today when needed it.
Thats my life. Things are there when I don’t need them & gone when they’re needed. Mostly that’s because other people use my stuff, even though it has my name written all over it, & they dont care & they dont replace. Its not like I can replace […]
Just like I presumed life seriously did mess me right up again. Life just seems to be a gamble nowadays. Once again I got caught with my boyfriend….really is it that bad to have a boyfriend I mean I am 18 just leave me be. Ok I know it goes against my religious beliefs and all but I just don’t know what to do any more. On one side my parents are telling me to get married now, but we have nothing to live off and are still students ourselves…and on the other side I have his side who don’t mind me getting married to […]
Help me.
I need to get this off my chest.
I think of suicide.
I’m not old but not young and I work as a suicide/crisis counselor. I deal each and every day with people who are hurting, alone and pain-ridden. People who need. And all of them want help. Want peace. Want someone to tell them they will be okay. That the day gets brighter. Just like me. I see as many as 18 separate people a day. I see snapshots of people’s worlds and realities. Of short comings, of emotional issues, of pain they’ve caused themselves or others have caused them. When you speak to someone […]
Reality sucks, Reality suck, Reality boring, I hate Reality, boring Reality, Reality is boring !
by niki
written by niki
Reality is boring & LIMITED !! I hate Reality ! boring Reality !
Real life is boring & LIMITED !! I hate real life ! boring real life !
Real world is boring & LIMITED !! I hate real world ! boring real world !
I also hate this life, I hate people / humans (well.. MOST/90% of them), I hate reality, I hate this world.
its very BORING !! and especially nowadays become ONLY very materialistic, money / profits driven only, all about money, money, money, & image, image, image! ; it’s very superficial, shallow, and mundane boring!
Why movies, video games, comics, books, novels, anime/manga, […]
And its days like this where I feel completely alone & unwanted. Theyre all upstairs laughing & cheering each other over a game on their ipads.
I just went up to go to the toilet & he looked up & his face told me to fuck off. Quite literally.
I had so many dreams & aspirations… I just wish my body hadnt betrayed me.
I am not certain what to type here.
A few years ago these tendencies, these thoughts, would feel foreign to me. To put it mildly, life was pretty good. I had a significant other who wanted to marry me, I was a straight A college student, and I had a broad pick of graduate programs to further my degree.
Now?
Enter the cliche story; she left me for a friend, college ended into a dead end midnight job, and graduate school did not work out. After diving in the deep end into jobs just to stay afloat for the past year, I am now left jobless(at 26), and I had […]
When considering suicide, make sure you don’t get sent to a psychiatric hospital.
written by NotAttentionSeeking
I attempted to commit suicide a few days ago. Unfortunately I got caught and was sent to hospital. I have to say staying in public psychiatric hospital has got to be the most degrading experience of my life. Here is my story of stay in a psychiatric ward:
On the 20th October 2014, I had the unfortunate experience of dealing with the nurses on morning duty at the Adult Acute Ward. Just before the morning meeting, I had noticed that I got my menstrual cycle because my pants had blood stains on the crotch area. I asked one of the nurses if I could take a […]
Hi. I’ve never done anything like this before. I never really like talking to people about my suicidal tendencies, mostly because the people I need to share this with and want help from, are the people that don’t want to hear anything about this.
I don’t see a max on the amount of characters permitted, so I guess I’m going to tell you my whole story..
I was born on the 15th of April, 1994, in Milan, Italy–I am 100% Italian, with both parents being Italian. Apparently, according to my mother, I wasn’t planned.. you see, the thing with my mother is that she likes to blame […]
Its days like this I feel almost human, almost visible, almost a part of life. Days like this, although its too early & I’m on a crowded bus, I don’t want to die. I want to live & enjoy life. But I have to remind myself that this is only a fleeting glance. I am cursed, in pain, unlovable, poor & soon to be homeless. & that is not gonna change.