im CheshireCatMadness and yeah im not gonna be bothered listening to all that it will get better stuff because it wont. Anyway when i was eleven i tried to take an overdose of sytraline anti depressants but i was a coward and my mum caught on and i was rushed to hospital. im not gonna mess up this time… if i take an overdose on sleeping pills i’ll be asleep and i wont feel death. its important that its quick so i dont have regrets and painless and easy to get hold of. i dont wanna wake up and im hoping i wont feel any […]
Dang, I haven’t been on here in forever, it brings back so many memories! I see there’s a lot of new additions to this site. Nice to see some new faces. Erm. Uh. You know what I mean. Anyway, I was just in the neighborhood and thought I’d update on the depression status.
My parents found out that I had been cutting, and they took my knife, blades, safety pins, and lighters away. I haven’t cut in 2 months and 3 days. I have never wanted to cut this badly before. My scars all look like those really cool white ink tattoos and you […]
Visions I’ve been dreaming are coming down. They’re changing my future.
Visions I had buried underground. Returning to abuse us.
There’s blood on my hands, and the killers not my enemy. It’s all for the sake of love, it’s all for you.
Some people think that suicide is for weak people. They think that they are taking the easy way out. They think its a selfish act. But its not. For some people its hard to imagine committing suicide, and for others its way too easy. People need to start realizing that bullying leads to suicide. People need to stop bullying. We are all the same on the inside. Some people may not be prettier than the other person but that doesn’t give them a right to bully them. They may not be skinny enough for your taste but you still shouldn’t judge them. Everyone has feelings. […]
On April 21st of two-thousand-and-twelve, I made a post that started with a picture of me from the return of a field trip. I told everything that I could, up until there wasn’t anything left to tell. I’m back. And there’s more.
It doesn’t say so here, but my name is Wyntre. I’m sixteen. I’m in love. I hate school. I don’t like people, and I don’t appreciate the world enough. None of this is new, isn’t it pretty much stereotypical for a teenager?
Lets begin this where I left off.
“I’m falling in love again, with a boy whom I care so much about. We are not […]
i made a post to my FB a while ago. I’m sharing it here now because i think it’s a means of motivation in some way.
“it’s time I just come out and say the obvious for those who may or may not have gotten the hint just yet.
I’m battling orthorexia. with anorexic tendencies.
I weigh, as of last .. maybe two weeks ago (the bathroom scale has been relocated and its probably for the best.) a solid 100 pounds.
I promise you that has gone down and I just dont know the exact number now.
one hundred pounds.
my problem is finding balance.
and this week, I […]
As we contemplate suicide or even go about living our day, all kinds of thoughts and “voices” clutter our minds. It is important to ask yourself… Whose Voice are you listening to?                                                                                                     Watch “Story 2013” on YouTube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CNbKbMIjLvU
Seriously, where are you at? Reply! Let me know people can actually care about each other unconditionally.
Have you ever felt like you were surrounded by darkness? A darkness so deep and pain so real that you just want it all to end? Have you ever felt like the world would be a better place without you in it? How about that you are so worthless that if people really knew who you were they would hate you as much as you hate yourself? Do you have a plan to end your life? Have you given up all hope? I have! Depression is real and the pain is intense, but there is hope —  Watch “Story 2013” on YouTube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CNbKbMIjLvU
I have no bonds with people. I’ve been abused and alienated. Deep depression, constant migraines, always tired, can’t concentrate or think straight, memory issues. I’m chronically stressed. People are just rude and hateful and judgmental and prejudice. I’m in a town with very little opportunity literally just a dozen different places to work, with no transportation. I’m living in poverty which means basic needs go unmet. It sucks everyday is a struggle. Nobody to help me out, don’t qualify for state benefits.
Out of respect, names will be changed for privacy.
yesterday was a horrible day. My mother was the first person (who knew Tom well), to discover Tom’s dead body in his hotel room. My mother and Lisa, a friend of moms who barely knew Tom apart from the occasional light teasing they shared back and forth, searched the city for him after no one had heard from him for a week. The search lead to a small area in a bad neighborhood by two restaurants and a cheap hotel, a waitress at a restaurant he used to frequent took mother to the hotel manager and got […]
I don’t know why she won’t let me leave, the schooling that I’ve had hasn’t taught me to write. I will never be able to talk again, either. Sometime ago, right before we moved out to wherever the hell we are, I had managed to escape the place we lived and ran. I never made it far. Maybe two blocks down, she grabbed me (this is about 3 am) dragged me back to the house and tied me down. Then, she continued to drug me and said ” This is gonna hurt but try not to get blood on my shirt would ya?” She took […]
I may not be suicidal but i do get depressed because of my lack of motivation and my fear of the future and this is what i like to listen to. So i made a playlist with some music that is nice to the ear and yes i know its hip hop but these songs are not the normal type you see its deep and all about the soft beats and the lyrics. Its poetry with beats. I feel like theres alot of rock and i wanted to put in something diffrent. Do me a favor and atleast listen to The Book  Of soul. Thanks people […]
I’m not sure what I really expect anymore.
A couple months back, September to be specific, I found myself in a hole. You know it, the black abyss that you stare at day in and day out. The one that never seems to end. I had been looking into, getting lost in the darkness for too long. Years have past since I can actually remember being happy for a full 24hrs. It seems so surreal to even imagine I used to have fun.
Anyways, I tried to take my life. I really tried… pills, alcohol, the whole deal. Fortunately or unfortunately ( I haven’t decided […]
So there’s this girl, she always felt lost and alone in this big world. It seemed like nothing would ever go right. She doesn’t know who her dad is and her mom only cared about the next guy in line to be with. She seen her mom go thru hell and back. She helped her mom thru all her drug addictions but it seemed like no matter what she did she could never get her mother’s love. When she was young her mom dropped her off at her ex husbands house cause she couldn’t take care of her and she thought it was the best […]
I stumbled upon this site, and felt a sudden pang go through me.
These new posts are from today.
I realized there are people posting right now, feeling incredibly suicidal with no one to talk to.
That scares me. It makes me sad.
Guys, a year ago I was in your place.
I promise you, it gets better. You must have heard it a thousand times. You must think it’s bullshit. I did. I never thought it — I — could get better.
But it did. I did.
I promise it can be like that for you, too.
I promise.
You just have to hold on.
I could lie and say that everything gets better and life is amazing but that wouldn’t help. 3 Days ago I made a decision to take my own life, I bought a bunch of painkillers and vodka and thought I wanted to die… it didn’t work and I spent 2 days in the hospitals poison ward attached to a drip with a needle sticking outta my hand, I had to listen to my families reaction over a phone call and it killed me having to hear what I did to them, I will never forget the sounds of my mum crying, not knowing what happened. […]
our life is together
our life has been forever
our time is never
never ending
places to go, things to do
words to speak
songs to sing
tears to cry
i tried so hard to make you proud of me
all i want is your love
im so alone
and so sad without you
am i dying?
i need you
i need my family
i just want to be happy
So, I’ll start with some background information.
My name is Sarah, I’m 15, I live in the United States, have a rocky relationship with my parents, have one younger brother, and I’m struggling.
I’m struggling to keep myself alive. I’m struggling to feel confident and accept myself. But I’ve found something to help. Color guard. So what is color guard? It’s a team that spins and throws: 6ft long metal flag poles, solid blocks of wood in the shape of a rifle, and sabers (swords). And yes, it’s a sport.
I’ve been suicidal since I was 10 years old, so that’s a grand total of 5 years. I […]