dear sp, just a warning. their is a troll on the loose. this one is really nasty. she was using the tag HAYTRED, but is now using GOD. do not bite her hooks. do not read her words, do not take her advice. she has nothing to offer. like all of us, i desire to find that peace, that one thing that will let us enjoy living. myth, maybe. her desire is death, destruction and misery. dont know about all of you, but ive had more than enough of that shit. so avoid her. good luck, peace to ya and keep trying.
Don’t really know where to start or what I’m trying to achieve so I guess I’ll just empty my thoughts into this box.
Suppose people who read this will think I should have been to some kind of therapy by now but it’s always something I’ve put off out of fear of judgement and being seen to be too sensitive. Kind of hoping that explaining everything here might help a bit, but we’ll see.
So I’ve never known my mother since she left myself, my older brother and my father when I was 2, so me and my brother have always lived and moved around with my […]
Sorry. He to keep it quiet.
I don’t have anyone in this world. No friends or girlfriend, nothing at all. I’m only 18 but I don’t want to get a job and work for the rest of my life. It just seems like torture. I’m also afraid of getting old. I don’t want to be remembered like that. I’d rather die while I’m still young. Not only that but I generally dislike humans. We do a lot of horrible things and yeah this world is just cruel. I also feel controlled as a human, it’s hard to explain but yeah.. I want to feel like I’m the one in control and […]
I came to the forest to determine why. Why life? Why death? When depression sucks you down like the Le Brea tar pits, you can no longer see the ground warmed by the morning sun. You see those who have come before you mired in the sticky, intractable black ***. The skeletons of those who didn’t make it are all around you. Charles Boyer, Vincent van Gogh, Sylvia Plath, Ernest Hemingway, Virginia Woolf. Robin Williams, so close, you could almost touch him. A delicate balance…when pain exceeds coping resources.
For the prosecution:
– 41 years of depression
– Crimes against humanity committed to me
– Committed […]
You don’t deserve the way my heart aches at the thought of you.
And I can’t stop loving you.
Well.. I’m starting to think it’s my time to go.I can feel so tragic but yet so calm about saying I want to die.I want to do things like Christmas but if I share and show im upset now I’ll be in the hospital for Christmas. I don’t want that. There’s nothing to like about me.I don’t even like myself and I never will.Im trying to figure out a time when to end it but I can’t find it and my suicide note isn’t even that good.Im messing my life up. Making people worried, wanting to kill myself,think everyone hates me out of the blue.I […]
I thought things were getting better, but it was just my mind’s way of getting a run-up to kick me in the balls again. I want to smash the bottle in front of me and cut myself to shit, grab my huge (and evergrowing) bag of failed meds and take the lot, kick down my door, smash out the bathroom window and climb up onto the rooftop and scream and shout and cry in one final act of defiance to the world. But I wont. Ill just sit here and smoke my problems away, like I always do. That’s why I’m such a useless piece of shit, […]
I’ll remedy that tomorrow. Not like anyone where I am wants me around anyway.
You know you’re really a failure when you can’t even die right.
There are a lot of things going on in my life and I don’t know if I can handle it anymore. I blame my mom for everything and my whole family are just judge mental. I’m never good enough for anyone or anything. The guy who recently told me he “loved me” I found out he danced with another guy at a gay club and got his number. I thought he was the one bc I love him. I think in the back of my head I knew he might be gay or bi but I don’t want to believe it. I’m scared on how […]
CRITICAL parents, bullies, addictions, mean girls, jealous gossip, scapegoat me you bitches, outcasted, jobless
Hard working, straight Aing, exercising, writing, creating, therapy, friends, faith, graduate degree, PURPOSE, dignity
Shes meek and timid and mousy, she’s a minority who only speaks English, she’s worthless, so TIMID, fucking nice and quiet
Sing, paint, POWERFUL, spiritual, soulful, run, get up and try again, meditate, pray, brush it off, get up, SPEAK UP
Not enough, never enough, never enough, use me, put me in danger, put me down, alone, alone, ALONE, no one understands
No one will hire a wounded healer she said, think positive they said, have a thicker skin they say, have […]
Nothings seems to be okay anymore I’m tired of trying to make everyone happy I wish it was easy to be what everyone expects but I don’t know how to try anymore. There’s to much to understand to much to wish went right. How can I smile when all I do is lose every fight.
Hi everyone, I used to be a frequently posting member of SP even before the site’s new look and new options with the dash (….which really wasn’t all that long ago guess.) I usually found answers and help here whenever it was sought, but it has been awhile since I have come here to say anything of real pertinence. I am back now because I have a real strong conviction and yearning to commit suicide and stop all of this damaged, irreparable ruinage. I know such things get said over and over on SP’ however it is difficult to go through […]
Hi everyone, English is not my mother tongue so sorry if I make mistakes.. I come from a country where we don’t talk about suicide. I found this website by writing “helium suicide” and I started reading all of these sad stories. I decided to write mine I don’t know why but it feels like I need to.
My childhood was horrible. My father was an alcoholic and when he drank, he did all the terrible things that a father can do to his children and wife (no details…). I started thinking about suicide when I was about 13 and I tried to commit suicide at […]
Hey guys I decided I would just share my story before coming to a final close. I am a nineteen year old male living in Austin who has become disgustingly depressed. I grew up what you would call a “perfect child,” as school work became my entire life. My parents are high class, high expectation type of people who get on my ass about every little negative detail about me. I feel like I have grown up a robot, and now I am waking up to see how tragic my life is like. I have been to wilderness program and a therapeutic boardinig school just […]
i am a29years male,nothing exites me any more, i dont have any friends, i always thought about suiside,attemted few times but failed, my parents dont know it, i have quit my job,want to kill my self any how, i dont sleep now ,dont know whether i have insominia or not, but it doesnt mater anymore,its not that i havent fight it,, i am fighting it from past 3 or 4 years, but it beyond control now, i just want to kill myself anyhow possible,plz dont give me crap shit, just tell me new and possible painfull ways of death.
today i realized my life is going no where fast and there is zero i can do to change it that i haven’t already tried. my lifes a dump im trash. i want to die. ive been trying so hard to not want it but i do.
Withought going through all the details, my life has been really hard. and it never seems to get
any easier. Last year I had a bad car accident and was all messed up and had surgery and had to move
in with family. Now I feel like a burden and no matter how much I try to help others I never seem to
be appreciated. Now for me I do have some good things on the horizon. Possible opportunties that could
help me out in life. But Im gettting close to break point. And I have aquired a way to make an end for myself
so I have that handy […]
Hi.
I hate my life. Nothing has any use… whatever I do, It’s never good enough. Life always seems to bite me in the ass. When I think I’m happy and my life finally goes well, it just stabs me 5 times in the back….
I just don’t know what to do with myself…. This is the second time I’ve been thinking of actually killing myself.
I’ve had these thoughts many times before but I’ve only once actually tried to plan something. A few years ago something happened that made me plan out my suicide. I already wrote letters and I was going to order all the things I needed […]