“Baby’s all dressed up with nowhere to go
That’s the little story of the girl you know
Relying on the kindness of strangers
Tying cherry knots, smiling, doing party favors
Put your red dress on, put your lipstick on
Sing your song, song, now the camera’s on
And you’re alive again”
i haven’t been posting much lately because it is always the same old shit. i take 6 medications to try to make me feel better. i was recently put in my place by my shrink who sees 24 nut jobs like me a day. 20 minute appts only. money wise it comes out to $800 an hour-nice scam . i finally got it through my thick skull that the less i say the easier the appts will be. just give me my scripts and send me on my way. i can write with impunity now knowing that no one has the time to read these […]
I suppose its time for me to finally start hoping I can die….fear cant dissuade me this time…ive already started…theres no going back now…..If there is a god out there…please don’t let this fail.
If luck isn’t on my side….il return after I get out of the hospital….if not…I hope you all can find peace as well be it through living or dying. Goodbye.
Vita teneat nisi miseriam.
All The Oscars,money and fame couldnt stop depression from attacking you!depression just doesnt attack poor people only,it can attack anyone.He wasnt born with depression,but has been battling it for years,HE WAS A COMEDIAN!!made people laugh all the time,and yet depp down he wasnt happy.goes to show that we can smile and shake hands around people,while dying inside.63years,and he did it!he mustve been contemplating it for months or whatever,becoz we all want to do it,but keep holdin on,faith,or whatever.shit is real!
he can finally find peace.R.I.P ROBIN WILLIAMS
She smiles through a thousand tears,
and harbors adolescent fears.
she dreams of all that she can never be;
she wades in insecurity
and hides herself
in
me.
onds never heel the time of year that things happun kill me i cant take it
The only reason I love sleeping so much, is because my life has a tendency to fall apart when I’m awake…
Feeling lost. Kinda undecided and unsure of what to feel or think. Lost in the depression. Lost in life.
Im isolating myself more and more for every day that passes. I feel completly, and utterly alone. This is something I feel I need to do- to minimize the damaged for the once I love. I have had no contact with any of my friends during the summer… and well, Im planning on giving them the cold shoulder once I get back to school. Distans is key to break as few hearts as possible I do belive.
But hey,if anyone feels like talking im all up for it. It’d be nice have a conversation that last more then a few words.
I’ve made a facebook, where im […]
I’m back, again. Most of you don’t remember me. It’s been 2 years since I last posted. Time has not been easy on me. I have a lot of changes, big changes coming up in my life in the next couple of weeks. Already, I have gone through several big ones, like losing many friends and my therapist, who were the only people I had to support me. Now I’m down to one friend that is constantly there for me, though he has major problems of his own. I feel like I’m losing every single thing that means something to me in my life.
My 18th […]
I’m 14. I wanna die. This isn’t some “oh my mom took my Xbox I’m so fuckin depressed” . No. Im not like that. I’ve been battling depression for about 8 months. And im just done. Im tired. I wish nobody would care about me so I could just go. But people do care. My adopted family. Aka my friends. One is basically my sister. The other is my homie. They care. They’re only ones. They’d miss me, but wouldn’t be too hurt, I think. They’d move on. They’re all I got, but im not all they got.
I simply don’t want to continue living. There […]
I rarely come on this site…but I think it’d be a good time to post to get a little off my chest. I don’t know how to feel about life right now. I feel so alone and just overall confused. I really am looking forward to the day where I truly love myself and feel at peace. I don’t even know how I’ve made it this far. I know I’m a shitty person to the people that really matter and who will always be there for me. I’m so selfish towards my family, yet I never do anything about it. Another thing that is just […]
This is my way to say goodbye to the ones I couldn’t reach. Sorry I couldn’t be helped out of this and not because you guys didn’t try. Thanks for everything.
How sick does one have to be in order to qualify for assisted suicide medications. I really have nothing to live for and am basically a log in my bed. I don’t want to die in pain. I want to be at peace when I go. I was planning on getting Helium tomorrow but I have read that that method fails if not done right. I want it to be successful the first time around and dont want to survive the attempt only to be sick and have an excruciating headache. This isn’t a cry for help or an attempt at getting sympathy. I just […]
I write about you because I can’t have you. On paper, your heart is mine.
It’s 4:am.
countless cigarett and broken thoughts, and here I am again. Awake in the dead of night, alone in the darkness. It’s quite scary actually, the things you can get used to. My thoughts are running wild…my thoughts are running deep. I can never run away from the way I truly feel. The days are okay, I just run on rutin. Breath in, breath out, go to school, eat,drink, speak. Life is just a habit, I just do the things I need to do. Don’t think. Don’t feel. I’m shut down. I’m disconnected. My life is my rutin. It’s weird how little remains of me.
I […]
My heart goes out to Robin for the pain he endured and to his family and friends for their loss. So many gifted comics suffer from depression. Comedy is one way to deal with an inane world and internal pain. Robin shared his gift abundantly with us. RIP, Robin.
I am feeling such a huge sense of loss and I didn’t even know the man. I only knew of him and from a distance. Although he always made me laugh and I was always so touched by the many kind things he did in his life, I could see the pain and anguish in his every expression. Even when he was trying so desperately to be light heart-ed, there it was in his eyes, the window to his soul. Thank you Sir Robin, for all of the laughs that you gave me, the wonderful memories of family and friends and great times while enjoying […]
ever have a day at work thinking that swallowing a bottle of pills would be a good afternoon snack? i don’t know what is going on with me . i want to be alone but yet being home alone is making me nervous these days. the thoughts are racing. and trying to get me to talk is like pulling teeth. i keep thinking i see something in my peripheral vision. add that to some new stressors in my life and its time to play will i or won’t i again. hey maybe i am just coming unglued. time to go back to my cell.
Hello
My name is Micaela,
I have been upset and miserable for as long as i can remember.. Last night I had I fight with my mom who I once held near and dear to my heart, she is slowly drifting away day by day .. I cant stop it I dont know how… she makes me feel bad about everything I do when in reality all I want to do is help and make her proud (she Always tells me that she is , but I never really feel it)… like today during the fight she was describing the things I do but when I heard the way she was describing me it was like an exact image […]