3 o clock in the mourning,about to fall completely sleep when the shadow of a man walks through my bedroom,he walks and walks for minutes,a big shadow,scary as shit,dont talks or makes any noises,just walks for minutes.I am too scare to shout,my body is completely paralized,as if the venom of the black spider dances through my blood,what if that spectral shadow is evil,i watch it for minutes just walkin,paranoid like if he is waiting or searching for someone,then the worst part of the ritual that starts at least one day per moth starts.The entity sits in my bed right beside my feet and starts to […]
After much contemplation, I’ve concluded that life is essentially pointless. It doesn’t make me depressed as much as it makes me apathetic to much that happens. But there is a certain freedom to apathy. It helps me see things for what they are, not through some emotional distortion, and see that life’s really not that complicated. In the end, enjoying life is the only worthwhile pursuit. And if you find yourself unable to enjoy life due to your circumstances, then you’re pretty much screwed (I’ve also concluded that life is inherently unfair).
Also, this site could do with a little DEATH METAL!….on the ukulele.
Sleep and escape reality by dreaming instead shit even nightmares are better than my Real life -_-
This is a brief story of the past few years of my life nothing to something I guess. I’ve always just put one foot in front of the other I’ve tried a few times and was saved on all occasions I put my family and self through hell then I ran away from home I left everything behind and moved in with my best mate,things were good for awhile but I got into weed which agian not so bad but my best mate sister and her boyfriend did ice on a regular basis so I started that aswell,things went to shit fairly quickly I broke […]
I have prevented my self from preparing for my death many times but today it feels stronger. I feel like getting up at this very moment and getting what i plan on using to end myself. I feel sad that this night (or shall I say early morning) could be the moment I final do it. Each time I have these thoughts of preparation I always look online for a place to talk to someone just to know someone is there. I have lost so many friends and just want someone to know what I have been feeling and what I plan to do just […]
You are at an unmarked intersection … one way is the City of Lies and another way is the City of Truth. Citizens of the City of Lies always lie. Citizens of the City of Truth always tell the truth. A citizen of one of those cities (you don’t know which) is at the intersection. What question could you ask him to find the way to the City of Truth? (you can ask only one question)
A can complete a work in 12 days and B can complete the same work in 24 days. In how many days A and B together complete the work?
Just when I think I’m starting to feel better, like a punch in the face it reminds me how depressed I actually am and that what I really want more than anything is to not be here anymore. These feelings will be here forever
I’m sick and tired of waiting to hear back from my boyfriend. I heard my sister on the phone talking about me and I’m just so fucking done with all of it. I’m sick of people. I didn’t even want to be here to begin with. She starts complaining about how I keep her up at night because I want to finish the last 15 minutes of a tv show (even though I’ll turn off the lights and try and move the screen) and tries to embarrass me publicly about how I watch MLP. Whatever suck it. Seriously. I don’t give a fuck that I […]
Soot filled lungs and fire in my veins.Exhale smoke and breathing in pain.The air is a curse, it keeps me alive. It could be worse, but I still wanna die. Institutionalized. Darkness clouded my eyes. I’m so sick of the same old lies. God please put the sun in the sky. Staccato bursts of pain and I cry. Little lines etched in my thigh. I keep whispering my beautiful lie, we keep saying our beautiful lie. I’m okay, yes, I’m just fine. I’m so sick of these same old lies.
I spoke with someone tonight about feeling suicidal. It made me feel better to know it doesn’t make me crazy. I was told to do things that distract me when I feel that way. I can see that, but again… how long do distractions last? I want the thoughts to go away. Not creep into my mind ever again. I don’t want to keep feeling this way period. Not just suicidal.
My demons creep back into my room and rip me to shreds…. Leave me with tears, scars, and blood dripping from my legs…. Who cares though right? I mean that’s how I live life everyday… With the people around me.. Who say they’ll stay?
I mean they said it’d be okay.. But honestly this “okay” feeling has yet to come.. So here I am once again putting on the same mask to hide my true expression.
Though I may smile it doesn’t mean I feel how I look… Looks can be deceiving.. And one might say that I’m a master of deception. I scream for […]
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I wrote this for a project in english class. Its a story about my own life. I threw myself into 3rd person and became the friend I wish I had when this was all happening. I hope you enjoy.
id the same. I dont think I heard them ever tell him congratulations without there being a “but” after it. Maybe they did, but I’m pretty sure he would’ve told me about it. So, Alex goes through his life thinking he is never good enough, that failure far outweighs success and quite frankly, he was miserable. But, for some reason, I can never remember him crying.
In middle […]
What makes you think you know what’s best for you?
What makes you think you know what’s right and what’s wrong?
What makes you think you know the difference between good and bad?
What makes you think you know what you’re doing?
What makes you think you know everything?
Hello!! I’m bored and little sad. My girlfriend is in Costa Rica on vacation and cannot text. 🙁 anyway anybody wanna chat?? I LOVE helping people so text me! Even if you’re bored too and you want to talk. Anything is fine!! I’m a 16 year old male, my name is Matt. 🙂 my number 19494846924
Sometimes I wonder
Is there really a future for me
I look back on all my history
and decide its not to be
Years of pain and struggle and strife
Multiple attempts to end my life
Failure upon failure and disappointment too
Not to mention the drugs and alcohol to boot
But people still say
Every dog has his day
Yet somehow its hard to wait for what may be
When will this day come?
It’s been plenty of moons
since the times I could stay home and watch cartoons
and be content
So much has changed yet so much has not
I feel like I went full circle, […]
Too many people telling me what to do,
but I am only one person.
So when I don’t do what they wanted me to,
they weigh me down.
They expect me to be happy…
But how do they expect me to do that?
I mean there has to be tears, scars, and pain…
lots of it…
So when you find the blood on me and the empty bottles…
Don’t be surprised to see it…
But be surprised when I tell you,
“You’re the reason.”
-Phe
So tomorrow (US time, the 3rd) is my birthday… this morning i received a notification from what i have dubbed “the SP birthday bot.”
SP birthday bot claimed the “honor” of “drawing first blood” on birthday wishes.
The irony is potent.
Imagine… a person trapped in a life they wish had never occurred, who has frequented a suicide-centric website for over a year… receives a BIRTHDAY wish, from this site’s computer program (“bot”), prior to anyone else who has ever known me (aside from my mom and the older of my two half-sisters, with both of whom i share a domicile).
The first entity outside my residence, to mention […]
I’m feeling really defective right now.
I went to a special “designer” research hospital in New York last month. Today, the super bill came with the diagnosis codes. I haven’t received their final report yet, but one of the diagnoses has sort of kicked me in the gut and I don’t feel like I can talk with any family member about it lest they throw it in my face.
It has to do with cognitive impairment which can arise from head trauma or prolonged medical treatments. Full recovery is rare. I guess you’d have to see what I have trouble with now, compared […]