I don’t want to die I just want to be scared and if that means dying than that’s fine… I’m not afriad of committing suicide, I’m scared if I were fail… What people would think of me.

I’ve been swimming upstream my whole life. Nothing was ever given to me, no brakes, no guidance, no chance. I’m middle aged now with 2 teens and a wife. I have no job and have been looking since April. Credit is bad, no savings, and I’m over qualified for the “regular” jobs. I get bored out of my mind with work and am on a spiritual mission. I’ve prayed and asked for truth for all mankind, a unselfish prayer for a long time now. The world is filled with violence and seems that it is filled with selfishness. This life is absolutely unreal, if there […]

I’ve been depressed for as long as I can remember.  Looking back, I was a sad, quiet, depressed kid.  Thought I was just lonely kid with little to no friends.  But now that I know better I do think that I was just such a dark, gloomy, sad girl.  Maybe I had sad aura that made people not wanting to get close to me.

I think it’s true nowadays too.  It’s almost like I repel people.  People won’t want to get to know you if you look sad or miserable.  I used to just cry and felt sad everyday, every minute for being so depressed. I’m […]

I need minimum 1000 years for enjoying all the human struggle.

Well the honest reason is that I suddenly realised that I’m sick of trying. I’m sick of it all. I go to sleep at night telling myself that it’s almost over, just be strong for a little while longer take it one day at a time. But I can’t do it. I feel like I spend every second trying to just hold on. Trying not to break. I don’t know if I can do it anymore. I just want it to be over. Is that really so bad? I’m tired and I need it to be over. I don’t have anything left in me. It’s […]

its all too real, the pain inside my head. the nauseating,sickly voice telling me to do it. It hard to not tune it out without first listening to what it has to say. I feel like…i feel exhaused honestly. tired and sick of trying so hard when ill forever be two steps behind everybody else. Whats the points of putting so much effort when it goes unnoticed?

Is life suppose to be like this? a cycle of working breathing living, eating, sleeping thats it. Thats not something id be willing to make a life out of. I want to be happy and i want to take […]

I was doing great for about a year. Started seeking PTSD treatments but unfortunately not a lot can be done at this point. So I’m taking my life tonight.

I tried my hardest and had a good run. See you in hell.

Good luck to everyone else on here. Live like I couldn’t.

I’m out. 🙂

her name is called Love. She made me  feel normal and warm. Her son was called Hope. Love and Hope are gone. Cold black death made me evil and made me betray them. I am evil, i deserve to die, but death saves me for later. I cant cope. Life is a lie. please death,that made me evil, come kill me quick. (im going to probably kill myself soon). PS. i am not a nice person.

the demons are back and their stronger than ever. i wish they would just leave me alone.

i hate myself for every single little thing i do. i get into an argument with my mom, i hate myself after for the attitude i gave. i eat, i hate myself after for eating. i stay quite, i hate myself for not speaking. i speak and i hate myself for not staying quite. it seems that no mater what i do, i am never satisfied with myself in anything i do. i feel like i will never be satisfied. i will always hate myself.

Hello, before I begin I’d like to say thank you for taking your time reading this. It’s a long story and I’m afraid that there will be more negative elements than good but I’m working on that. I’ve come here for a last attempt for finding hope, as I have lost mine. Maybe writing my story there will be someone out there who really understands. But I must warn you, this is a cautionary tale so please keep an open mind. I really need some help with being completely overwhelmed. What would you do?  

Where do you begin when you decide writing your life […]

I’m so tired.

I want to go to sleep and not wake up.

I take excessive amounts of sleeping pills just to escape reality. When I don’t have anything to help me sleep, I suffer from severe insomnia.

I can’t stop thinking about what’s happened in the last few years. It constantly rewinds and replays in my head. And since the punishment will be for a lifetime, there will be no relief – ever. How can I possibly make any sense out of this? No relief – ever? Why live? Why go on?

I’m numb.

I look in the mirror and I don’t recognize the reflection. It’s like I’m looking […]

im aaaaaaaalllllllllll alone with rare health problems and bipolar. aaaaalllllllll alone. hopeless and poooor. cant have kids, no sex drive, ED, tired. Went to college and poor. im black. did i mention i was poor? aaaaaaaaaaaaallllllllll alone. no sex drive. low testosterone. bipolar. cant keep a job. aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaalllllllllllll alone. no woman for me. im crazy. i wont live life anymore in a sick mind and broken body. i hate being black. im gonna die

A lot has been changing in my life lately.  With all the treatment shit and then I got a therapist.  I don’t really know if the therapy helps.  Professional help is just not my  thing.  Lately I haven’t been feeling like myself.  I haven’t been on here for weeks and it’s like a large chunk of my life is missing as odd as that sounds.  I thought I had come to a point where I didn’t have to rely on SP anymore, truth is, it has made me half of who I am.  I feel like I’m going crazy, god damn it.  At least crazier […]

Reading through my suicide note and plan and just mad at myself for not going through with it last time when I was so close… Thinking about all of the times I could have done it and I didnt because im such a coward. If I would have, I wouldnt have to deal with the constant aching in my heart… im not sure how much more I can handle before I blow up

It’s tearing me apart deciding whether I should commit suicide. I have an effective method and I’m extremely atheist, but I can’t decide whether to it. My life is shit and I doubt I’ll ever be capable of anything worthwhile or worthy of love, but I still cling to life. Why? It’s over. Why can’t I just do it? I feel I’m better off dead but I’m too scared to kill myself. What should I do?

Just gonna disappear for awhile. No reason whatsoever to keep hanging on to everything I worked for.

I thought for once, I’d be able to be okay. It’s hard to think when all these thoughts are in your head. You’re like a ticking time bomb. The wrong person cuts a wire, and you explode. And you’re nothing. Because they made you feel worthless. Like everything you ever did for them was nothing.

i call this dark place home. i am stuck living with my crazy family. but i will get out of here one way or another. help me if possible.

it’s so hard to talk when you want to kill yourself. its not a mental thing– its a physical thing. it is physically hard to open your mouth and talk. the words come out like your retarded and you just cant do anything about it. we were born to die, right? so i might as well just end it now… its crazy how this world can be so confusing. i try to be someone im not so people love me… i fake a smile so people dont question me. i pretend that it doesnt hurt but in reality im in so much pain its crazy. […]