So here I am again, missing you. I can’t believe it’s almost been a year. I still haven’t gone through all our stuff, it hurts. You would have loved the place where I’m at now, its a little house on a 100 acre farm with a creek for fishin and train tracks and a whole lot of birds! Life is still hard, really hard, especially on my own. I’m looking for a second job so I can keep it, mama is losing her house so there is nowhere else for me to go now. I needed you baby, even […]
I am breathing, but barely. Life was, “O-K”, for a while. And then…And then my life nosedived. My mental state went from being stable to barreling into the Mariana’s Trench. I ate, but the food had no taste. I drank, but nothing was cool enough. I saw but everything was in grayscale. I felt nothing. Not the wind in my face, nor the heat of the bath. I felt my heartbeat in my chest as if it were a taunting reminder of the cord that holds me to life.
Moving on in the night, I once gained a sense of comfort from cleaning; and so I […]
They don’t make ’em like they used to.
So, I’ve been spending the past 5 years of my life on a steady downward spiral. I can’t hold a job more than a year. Failed out of college, failed with relationships with both sexes, and destroyed my credit. I feel like everything I touch dies. I can’t get anything right, and its been that way my entire life. I’m at the point that I really don’t see the point in continuing to be another uncontributing wasted resource in the world. I keep thinking I should pull the plug on it. I can’t really shake it. Have you ever felt like you were destined to […]
Remarkably, two years from its onset, I’m still alive; still fighting. By some odd twist of fate, I’m still here…still on this beautiful earth that once was forgotten in my mind. I’m still here to speak of the taboo disease that is depression…this stigma that is an incomprehensible sadness. The sole disease that many encounter, yet the sole disease that no one wants to admit to. The sole disease that is so easily swept under the rug. The sole disease that is too disgusting to talk about, so it’s kept to a whisper. The sole disease that is too embarrassing to ask for help, so […]
IF all humans on planet earth want suicide? does that mean all human race is most intelligent species?
if not humans who is intelligent on earth?
if you spending your 60 years just to watch yourself dying, isn’t it illogical?
aren’t we unfortunate because we will be missing all technologies and lifestyle that come after 1000 years?
Hi
I’m completely new to this site and I’m not really sure what kinds of things people post but here goes.
I am 23 years old and people think I’m a happy and normal person but I’ve been suffering from bipolar disorder for 5 years. The depression I experience in cycles is becoming too much and I can’t hide it anymore. When I’m like this I am such a drain on my family and I just don’t see an end to it. This is why I want to end it all.
There is one thing stopping me. Despite being completely non religious, I keep having this horrible anxiety […]
How many times did the sun shine, how many times did the wind howl over the desolate tundras, over the bleak immensity of the Siberian taigas, over the brown deserts where the Earth´s salt shines, over the high peaks capped with silver, over the shivering jungles, over the undulating forests of the tropics – day after day. Through infinite time, the scenery has changed in imperceptible features. Let us smile at the illusion of eternity that appears in these things, and while so many temporary aspects fade away, let us listen to the ancient hymn, the spectacular song of the wind, that has saluted so […]
I am in such a shit mood right now, and I don’t fucking know why.Â
I was all happy and laughing an hour ago, and then I had a shower and hate a complete breakdown in there for 10 minutes. I then kept seeing this girl in there with me and I got really freaked out over it and started having a panic attack because I thought they’d stopped appearing in the bathroom. So I was in there for an extra 25 minutes having a full out panic attack, and then I came out the shower and started blow drying my hair in the kitchen when […]
Everyone has a point in there lives where they dont know who they are, where they are, or who they want to be. Some people have to hit rock bottom before getting back up but sometimes we keep falling which is okay as long as you keep tryin. I had to hit rock bottom twice before I realized I had to get clean and sober. Im not perfect and I can fall at anytime but, right now Im heading back to the top of recovery. Let me tell you about my journey and my story about strength; sit back, relax, and enjoy the ride.
Weird is planning your kid’s bat mitzvah, studying for the bar exam, talking to your friends like everything’s fine, and making arrangements for your death all at the same time. When I first saw this house I said I would die here. It wasn’t what I meant at the time. but it turns out I was right, nonetheless.
At the age of 17 after signing paper to come to kicking horse job corps in Montana. I had a break down. remember that I have PTSD, I had a psychotic break down. this is honestly that hardest part of my life Its hard for me to tell people. but here it goes. I had a psychotic break down I was homicidal and suicidal. I showed up at my moms not(best friends mom and his house) house. She wasn’t feeling good. she was feeling sick that day. She looked at me and asked if I was okay. all I could manage was a head shake saying no. […]
she saved my life
I moved back to Colorado in a small town named Eaton. I went through a lot. I was the new kid in town. We moved there after my first love Emily committed suicide, Because an abuse family(drugs, alcohol abuse family). I got a letter from her sister saying she committed suicide on March 31st  2009. It just made the move back to Colorado harder. I tried committing suicide on June 20th 20o9 because we moved back […]
So ive not been working for the last few days I’ve called in sick and tried to explain to my boss whats happening even though I don’t know myself… its so hard for someone to grasp when they haven’t been through it.Â
I hate feeling so empty and scared. I don’t want to see anyone or do anything, yet I know if I dont go back to work how will I survive? Its so hard 🙁
Got a bus to catch on August 8.
What would be your answer for the above
First of all… I’m not going to censor this. YOU NEED TO UNDERSTAND. I NEED SOMEONE. Listen. Please, just hear me out! I can’t take being ignored anymore! So please, please just see what I have to say! Your the lucky one…all of you who are not me…all of you who you don’t have to ask for your own mother’s affection. Those of you whose own sister isn’t always planning to bring you down. Those of you who’s father actually spends time and gives a fuck about you. Why can’t I be you..? You don’t have to pretend to be someone you’re not over social media […]
I went through a lot to get where I am now. I went through hell to get to where I am now.
My story begins in Westminster Colorado. I was born in Westminster Colorado, I lived there till my 5th birthday. Then I moved to west Yellowstone Montana. After my 6th birthday I went to California to visit my cousins and grandparents where my story of depression and abuse and rape began. I was playing cops and robbers in the dark with my three cousin. My older cousin was a cop and caught me as the game was being played, He took me into the jail(a room). He asked me […]
Is it noteworthy when someone seeks out only those pornographic websites where women are being brutalized? I’m quite open-minded concerning other people’s sexual proclivities, but this one I can’t get past.
Remarkably, two years from its onset, I’m still alive; still fighting. By some odd twist of fate, I’m still here…still on this beautiful earth that once was forgotten in my mind. I’m still here to speak of the taboo disease that is depression…this stigma that is an incomprehensible sadness. The sole disease that many encounter, yet the sole disease that no one wants to admit to. The sole disease that is so easily swept under the rug. The sole disease that is too disgusting to talk about, so it’s kept to a whisper. The sole disease that is too embarrassing to ask for help, so […]