Last week I went to the city jail for traffics that I thought somehow vanished.I was pissed cause I was acting all cocky when they pulled up.I was like why are y’all here were not doing anything here.They asked for my name,I gave It to them In anger,a minute later I’m being handcuffed & they told me I had nine traffic ticket warrents.I was In a shitty mode cause I was finally getting better & this shit happens so Is felt like shit on the way there.When I get there they started to search me and then he put his hands there!!I moved & said pushed me against the wall & told me the wall can be my bestfriend.I started crying & told him you don’t touch someone there,you don’t know what the fuck I been threw.He asked If I got raped beforeI told him no but I’ve been molested more than once by my cousin.I told him If my OWN BLOOD can do that who can I trust??He stayed quite & a minute later told me to stop crying before you go back there & to take care of myself.A week later that shit still fucks with me.I wonder how different my life would be If I would have never been molested???????
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Sorry, I understand how you feel. No need to feel ashamed or anything.
I have been molested too. It was horrible and on top of that my family and others didn’t believe me when I told them, as if I was making it up to get attention. To this day I can’t get touched “anywhere”.
I don’t understand the phenomenon of people not believing molestation and rape victims confessions, it doesn’t make any sense to me.
“Not believing” or not wanting to get involved/caring… but your own family?
No, it doesn’t make any sense at all. And it can have devastating consequences.
Well, when I was younger, my mother was somewhat of a compulsive liar, and she said wierd things a lot, she was heavily medicated, and one day she said in a conversation pertaining to rape, “Rape isn’t fun.” I didn’t know whether or not to take her seriously, she said things like that all the time, the other people in the room didn’t know either. People did’nt understand her, but to this day I’m not sure whether she was raped or not.
My mother has also been on heavy meds for years, actually decades. And she says weird things too. Actually I intended to start a thread one of these days because I am so confused. She says terrible things but it is like it is not really her and I don’t know what to do because I remember all those terrible things she did, then she said she didn’t do them because otherwise she would be a monster, then she did them again. I think the meds ruined her head… A thread will follow one of these days…
Yes, my mother is a lump. It’s ridiculous and a bit sad.
It makes me sad that I never really got to know her, because, when I was young, she seemed better than she is today, but still drug addled and clueless. It pains me to know I will never know the true woman that is my mother. Mentally, she sounds like she makes sense for a little while but is incoherent and catatonic. I stopped talking to her after I left my town at 18 a couple of years ago. There’s no point in talking to her. All the people that considered her their friends, thought I was like ‘family’, it’s funny, they all think they’re someday going to see me again. I’m never going back.
I sort of understand you.. I got molested by my older cousin when i was just 6, he brought me in the closet and started touching me and he asked me to suck his you know.. I didn’t, i refused to, then once he left out the closet i ran downstairs as fast as i could and then it felt like a dream because everybody was having a water balloon fight and they were all laughing and having fun, then i was there, scared, molested, and i cried for my parents but they never came because i was in CFS with my aunty and my cousins treated me like shit, everywhere my “cousin” touched it just brings back memories i can never let it leave my mind.. I’m sorry that happened to you.
I am the same way. I got raped countless times by two men and molested by another. I feel so worthless I don’t know to live anymore. I’ve been relying on Jesus it’s just so hard to give a fuck anymore. I hate myself and life, I’m so sorry you feel so fucked up. I feel fucked up too. It’s so hard to get out of the pit of despair we are in from what someone has done to us. It’s just so hard. If you need to talk, i care and will try to give u the best advice I can