So my issues with being suicidal are somewhat complicated. Well, everyone’s are. Does anyone else have a chronic illness? I was diagnosed with M.E at age 13. More commonly known as chronic fatigue syndrome, that is however a pathetic name for something as debilitating as I have. I cycle through extremely bad times and not so bad times. The extremely bad times, like now consist of not being able to stand up for more than a minute, feeling the most overwhelming exhaustion the human body is capable of, not being able to shower or feed myself and being very depressed. The not so bad times […]
Do other people feel the despair that I feel when they hear these words? I wish my eyes would stop leaking. I’ve just popped a lorazepam. I want to scream. I’ve got to slay this dragon and go work.
Physical pain, everyone understands. Correction: physical pain, everyone understands if they can see it. Everyone understands a broken limb, a gushing wound, a torn eyeball, but tell them your pancreas hurts or your ears are ringing, and you’ll probably get the condescending “aw poor thing” bullshit and then they’ll forget all about it.
Even worse is mental agony which not only can’t they see, but they can’t even conceive what it might be like. Tell them that your mind is coming apart at the seams and they’ll just give you a blank stare. You won’t even get the condescending sympathy bullshit. Instead they’re more likely to […]
I’m new on here, and I’ve been struggling since seventh grade really, but I’ve gotten much worse over the past few years. I’m currently a senior in high school. I’ve been to different psychologists, and none of them could help me and I just got really pissed off at them so I quit going. (Also financial reasons) But this year everyone has been just on my back every day about how I’m not trying hard enough and how I am just a failure. But I do try so hard to be the strong link. At school I get made fun of for who I […]
1. I cut, but I cut on my stomach so there is barely any chance anyone will find out. I was wondering why some people cut their arms/wrists?
2. I’ve read on here that many people have been going through depression for a long time, if not most of their lives. HOW IN THE WORLD DO YOU TAKE IT?? I lost my faith in April of last year and became depressed in July, so it’s really only been about 9 months I think? And I severely want to die. I just want to know how you’ve managed to […]
Hello, I’m new here. I have stumbled upon this site before while doing research for my own sad suicidal thoughts. Â I’m 24 years old and I am a wife, mother of two, and full time college student. Â My life has been a constant uphill battle against depression, which started when my father took his life when I was 11 years old. Â Sometimes I feel so alone in this world and I just want to disappear. Â I wish there was a place where I could just be numb and have no feeling at all. Â I started attempting suicide in my teenage years by cutting myself and […]
The Dweller Alone by Stella Benson
My Self has grown too mad for me to master.
Craven, beyond what comfort I can find,
It cries: “Oh, God, I am stricken with disaster.”
Cries in the night: “I am stricken, I am blind….”
I will divorce it. I will make my dwelling
Far from my Self.
Not through these hind’ring tears
Will I see men’s tears shed.
Not with these ears
Will I hear news that tortures in the telling.
I will go seeking for my soul’s remotest
And stillest place.
For oh, I starve and thirst
To hear in quietness man’s passionate protest,
Against the doom with which his world is cursed.
Not my own wand’rings—not my own abidings—
Shall give my search […]
Visions I’ve been dreaming are coming down, they’re changing my future. Visions I had buried underground returning to abuse me. I’m getting worse, I can’t sleep. I thought that the feeling was gone, but it’s getting stronger. And I miss him, I miss him so much. I’m missing him like never before. But still, can’t be with him, can’t tell him, can’t dream about it. It hurts, like hell. I just want to be okay. I just, want to.
Sometimes i go through my day wishing i hadnt woken that morning. Life is a constant struggle and always seems to find a new way to throw another unfortunate event at my face. Ive been through hell and back to the point where i dont feel physical pain. Its like tyson could beat my face in and i wouldnt shed a tear. Its not until you criticize me with your words that i break like a twig. The amount of physical torture ive endured because you are so careless about others emotions. It seems u take advantage of every possible chance you get put me […]
It’s too quiet in here.
I can hear myself cry, and hiss out words that usually come as mumbles.
It was once a place of serenity.
It was once the place of my joy,
but now I find it only to contain an inescapable hell.
It’s a place filled with shadows,
and a place filled with comfort.
My temple and my asylum,
my punishment and my reward.
This place smells of candles overcome with the misuse of lysol in a can.
I […]
So I’ve been struggling with depression and anxiety for pretty much my entire life.
I really see no joy in most things. I feel like I’ve mostly lived my life for other people, I can’t really recall feeling genuinely happy since I was young. It feels like my life has just sort of been a series of unfortunate events; which would be enough, but I just don’t seem to have the ability to deal with it.
Everyone I’ve grown up with has distanced themselves from me and ignores me now. When I try to make new friends people pretty much do the same. I push myself so […]
Whether you want to be buried, cremated or idk, what would you like your ideal funeral to be like? (Assuming you’d want one)
For me, it’d be small and intimate. I’ve told my family one million times, I’d much rather be cremated. I think it’s cheaper and more environmentally-friendly. No viewing, in my opinion, would be necessary. Just remember  me the way I was. Nothing fancy.
Ideally, I’d like my ashes to be thrown into some body of water–which one? I really don’t care.
How about for you all?
I’m not falling for the hoax
This sick twisted joke
Nothing is real
Except the emptiness that I feel
Keep the stories to yourself
As you file my memory on the shelf
I won’t let my conscience get in the way
Before I let the silence take me away
hi, im trying to kill myself tonight. im thinking of hanging myself from my  balcony with a rope that i will purchase from home depot. any suggestions on which rope to use? i need it done asap before i start cutting myself. i have bad panic attacks and i cant get help. i cant handle them anymore.
I’m having another episode right now.. it’s really bad. i want something to happen… i either want to end it all right now or i want someone to just help me out of this and figure out what I should do next… I’m tired of waiting and letting this happen over andover again. please.
If you ask me, stillborns and babies who die soon after birth are the luckiest motherfuckers. They just…die. No suffering for them. No anguish. Hell, their families probably aren’t (all) that sad over it; they didn’t even get to know their little tike.
I wish I had been a stillborn.
I managed to get the pdf/word file of ‘The Peaceful Pill’. I’ve just begun reading it, but it attracts my interest already. It concerns the way I wanna go, in detail. Hopfully it’ll provide me the missing information that I hadn’t been able to get by talking to people on various forums. Now I’m at the part where the phenomenon of suicide is explicated, in general. I’m really hoping I’ll get the answers to my questions in my head.
I thought I could end it with ease. All I had to do was step off Instead I just sat there frozen. How come I couldn’t do it after all I’ve been through? Everyday wishing it would end. I just can’t understand how I could be scared of death.       I’m such a *****!
I thought I was feeling bad enough before. But apparently not. I still am trying to make things better in my life before “the date”. I don’t know if I’m gonna be able to do it. I wasn’t expecting so much drama and heart breaks. I am so alone right now. Everyone is tired of me and my depression. Everyone is so busy. I have nothing to look foward to. I have nobody to love. I have no passion left. I feel empty. I get this impression that I’m trying my hardest to feel better, but it’s never enough. Maybe I’m just not meant to […]