no matter what I do…I’ll never be good enough 🙁
Of any of it? We go to school for the first 1/4 of our lives, study and spend thousands of dollars out our asses, only to (generally) end up in some job that doesn’t even relate to our degree – if we even end up getting them!
We work for the majority of what’s left of our lives, assuming we live to the expected age of 80 or so, and then we spend the remainder of our days whiling away our time waiting to die anyway…
why not skip out all the bullshit and go ahead with it? We already know how the ending turns out anyway. […]
… the whole our village had problems with electricity . But now I’m here … and connected .. :p
So where were the spiders?
While the fly tried to break our balls.
Just the beer lights to guide us.
So we bitched about his fans and should we crush his sweet hands?
Ziggy played for time,
Jiving us that we were voodoo
The kids were just crass,
He was the Naz
With god given ass.
He took it all to far,
But boy could he play guitar!!
It’s not sadness I feel. I don’t even feel anger, nor do I feel numb. I feel empty. I am devoid of a soul.
The Jews say a soul is what makes us special. It is what separates us from the lifeless tools we use. I feel like God forgot to put my soul in me when he made me, leaving me a tool to be used. I feel like the Golem when he no longer had a purpose.
I don’t often think about myself in the terms of Jewish faith. My father is Jewish, not I. It’s the only way I can describe it though. […]
Lord, please me get through the night!
wish i cud simply pull out a plug and the whole of my system would go into a deep,uninterrupted slumber from which i would never wake up…
i also feel like punishing myself for being so useless… feel like inflicting pain to numb the feeling of helplessness… i did hit myself on the head and now i have a pounding headache but that doesn’t seem enough…
i don’t know what to do… i don’t know if anything would ever work….
Hi.
I’m Katie, and I want to tell my story.
I was born into a pretty good family, with a dad and mom that loved each other and all that good stuff. When I was 5 though, they got a divorce, but the reason was good as a reason could be for divorce. My mom remarried to a man who sexually abused both of us until the day he decided to try to kill us. That was the day he went to jail. That was also the day where I started on this long journey of Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (I have been diagnosed by a professional). I have flashbacks […]
Just realized I haven’t eaten for almost two days. Hopefully this isn’t something else I need to worry about. I’m already afraid of becoming an alcoholic because I enjoy getting very VERY wasted
I’m severely depressed
and have epilepsy
not a good combo.
I tried to kill myself 9 times in my 15 1/2 years of life
I reached the edge once
I could see a light
my life was flashing before my eyes
then when it was to late
I realized I didn’t want to die.
I realized I shouldn’t have drunken that paint thinner.
It’s amazing that I’m alive.
I still have my occasional thoughts
then I remember
for every bad thing
it seems like something good followed.
My criminal law professor asked. Most of my classmates were silent, while the two or three debaters exploded at each other over that question.
Their voices were tuned out as I pondered this predicament; what would it be like to be murdered? I have been raped before, and I know of the pain that comes along with it, externally and internally. But to be free from this hell by someone else’s hand? Would that be a viable option?
My family would have someone to direct their blame, instead of blaming themselves for my death. The murderer would have gotten their frustration out, and I would be free […]
I thought I knew what I was going to do in life, but now I don’t really know anymore. All my life has been laid out by my parents long before I knew what I wanted. I’m so close to giving up, and I don’t know what is keeping here. Trying to be the best all the time has gotten tiring, and I just don’t care about anything anymore. The only reason I’m here is because I’m scared of what happens it I don’t succeed. All of this seems so pointless and I just want to give up …..
well before people were domesticated, before “civilization” people generally did not live far past their 30’s… In fact you’re 30’s were considered you’re senior yrs….
Maybe this was nature’s way of mercy killing, rather than be drug on to live through misery and you’re body breaking down, once it got to the age where you couldn’t enjoy the things you grew up doing anymore, nature decided to perhaps have a heart and let you go.
These days I hear older people constantly lying to themselves that “things aren’t that bad” just to cope with it. For some maybe it’s not, but for many it is that bad. […]
I think I have what I call fat girl syndrome. I used to weigh in at 260lbs almost all my teenage life. I was well liked and respected because I was so big (not to mention small town life) it never bothered me to be fat. One day when I was 19 I decided i’d give the skinnier life a try… I quit eating, (which I found myself falling asleep behind the wheel) so I ate more. I walked, didn’t eat past 5pm (keep in mind I lived at home and was not pressured to get a job.) In one years time I lost over […]
It’s been six months since I last cut myself. I tried to abandon self-harming because my parents threatened me to kick out from the house. I succeed but I just wanna do it again. I feel like cutting myself could ease the pain away again. I’m so fed up with my life. Every time I bottle up my feelings or thoughts, I will be crazy and numb sometimes. I have no one to talk to. When I try, they (family &friends) just turn their backs away from me. They would even call me “attention-whore” although all I really want is to get help from someone (not […]
02/09/2011
My grandfather was more like a dad then my actual father was he helped me through everything I spent all the time I possibly could with him he loved me and he always told me he did I always told him I loved him but one day I went to school and my teacher came and told me I had to leave school at 9 and my mom was coming to pick me up I was really excited cause I never got to leave school when it was 9 I got in the car and went home my dad was sitting […]
and if each of us are doomed to continue like this, fuck it
“find a hobby” when you’re tired of doing that, then what?
“take a nap” I can’t nap forever. what do you want me to do?
“its not your fault” yeah well when your human incubation system fails you and you face stretching your vagina for a dead baby you come back and try saying that again
The sad times are when you look around you and everyone has a place.
Everyone, except you.
Even the people you consider friends would rather be alone than be with you.
The sad times are when you look around you and everyone is welcome.
Everyone, except you.
Even the people that invite you in their circle don’t want you to talk to them.
The worst times are when you look around you and you’re all alone.
No one, but you.
Even the people you once thought cared, didn’t give a shit about you.
You sit on the bathroom floor, tears pouring from your eyes.
Blades carve your […]
this poem could use some work but eh, i’ve had some writers block so
you and I are out in the sea
Lost and afraid, you look at me
I hold you close but pull you down
and look away as you start to drown
I watch you sink then start to swim
Remembering that it wasn’t me you loved, it was him.
the sun goes down and I’m all alone
Shivering in the dark blue water, i’m on my own
The storm approaches and the waves hit
I ask myself “is it time to quit?”
I kick and scream in desperate need
someone pick me […]