No more herb, and forever.
No more green ignition. Will the Joker have the last laugh.
I, versus Lobo’s chain and Deathstroke’s Claymore.
Back to the place where “simple,” beaten to a bloody death.
Attempting words, into the lost façade. Fade. No echo.
The cry of the millennium.
In arms chain, and iron mask. A bodied spirit.
The Lucifer. Crucified upside-down.
The Bringer Of Light. The hidden suffer. The secret truth.
A sad child of Satan world. This is the voice of the “New Age,” dying.
The preach, sabotaged.
My humble children. Our mothers of life.
Change, why does it not. Grace is dead.
The truth, […]

darkness envelopes my body as I lay stiff

while my mind is set adrift

my eyes stare straight ahead to the ceiling

as the blade cuts I still don’t have no feelings

petty and sorrow is all that lasts in this world

of mine I wish I can blow away and let the wind

take me away …..

I can’t hold the things I feel inside any longer I ditched school so Ican be alone so no one can bother me but it just caused more trouble.. I feel like a burden to my sisters to my brothers to my parents I can’t stay happy Cus when I am the thoughts jut flow back in those negative dark thoughts ..

She is 20 years old. She is an Italian & African-American Female.

She goes to school full-time. She she has no time for a job.

She is TRYING the BEST she can to make something of herself, to make a living for herself, so she can live comfortably above the poverty line that her & her family have been stuck in for years.

But she is tired.

She’s looked for God and she believes she found him. She’s seen him in her dreams, she’s seen him hide in nature, she feels him when the sun comes up. Crazy as it sounds, she believes he is all around, and she […]

If you’ve made it to today. Hooray! Suicide was yesterday! lol…

O_O

sorry I’m high. lol

(I addressed this to a friend. The thing is, I won’t send it to her. I want it to be read, though, so please do.)

Read this in a place and time where you can handle an emotional outburst. You can’t know how sorry I am for burdening you with this, but you deserve an explanation.

If you feel guilty at this for any second, I swear I will haunt you for the rest of your life.

1/13/14. I have no idea what you were doing that day, but you might remember it by receiving a somewhat suicidal message from me. You texted me later, and I eventually […]

I want to end my life, but I have a 5 year old son. I’m a single mother, and although I have family that will take good care of him, I feel immense guilt at the thought of leaving him. He deserves a good life. And sometimes I think I might get in the way of that. But then again…I also think that I might be the best person he has in his life. I don’t know what to do. If I didn’t have him, I’d certainly take my own life asap.

But I think about how tragic his life would be. Left behind by his mother. […]

the other night I was crying

and thinking about dying

I grabbed my knife and felt the familiar sting from my addiction to cutting.

i laid back and I felt dizzy. probably from the blood I lost.

looked down at my arms and legs and wondered who could love a girl like me.

then my beautiful little cat snuggled up against my cut up arm gently. put her paw against them and laid there until I stopped crying. like she knew what was going on. like she knew I needed any kind of comfort in that moment.

maybe if my cat can still love me there’s hope for people to.

“I didn’t care about anything. And there’s a freedom in apathy, a wild, dizzying liberation on which you can almost get drunk. You can do anything.”

— Lionel Shriver

Never thought that I would be on here again but I guess I just need to vent. My grade is shit in math, my teacher treats me like crap btw but I get it at home too. This whole week I’ve been treated likes hit and I’m sick of it, I’ve been called names pushed and lied to throughout this week. If you cross be over don’t come back. If you have something to say , say it to my face direct contact please. And family , my dear family, LEAVE ME ALONE I don’t know if you guys know the concept of alone or […]

Go far enough I’m dead.

Is it possible that this entire human world is completely upside down in its beliefs, and in fact life is a bad thing; death is a good thing; and suicide is the act of an enlightened soul that has come to this awakening?

What do humans live for? Ostensibly to contribute to life. To make life better for themselves, their families and other humans. Longer, happier lives for everyone.

The same thing can be said about an acid trip. You want it to be a happy one. You want it to last as long as possible. You want to share it with your friends. But in the […]

stop.

why can’t I stop playing this in-between. I’m not getting any better, I CAN’T get any better until certain things happen that just aren’t happening, that are out of my reach. And I can’t end it either. Why the fuck can’t I just do one or the other?

NO it’s not a matter of positive thinking. NO it’s not like I don’t know what I need. I know what I need and I can’t fucking GET it. That’s the problem. Why don’t I just MAKE the attempt so that they HAVE to listen?

No, I’m not making it up. No, doing fucking yoga isn’t going to help. […]

I won’t die until late August, but this is the note for when I do. I need to share it.

My suicide note (In preparation for the inevitable. In preparation for the end of the story that has been embedded in my genes since I was an infant):

They say life is a bad joke. They are wrong, it is a good one. When we were little they told us that we were special. That we were unique. That we were all winners. That we mattered. That there is justice in the universe. That we were lucky enough to be born in the greatest country in the […]

I actually have two of these friends.  I am very lucky!

There should be a law that says everything is 50 – 75% off according to how bad the economy is. That way companies would lose a bit of money but ultimately gain a profit and another the upside is that the economy holds up….think of all the spending people would do? I wonder why things are unregulated now….”lobbying” (legal bribery) perhaps?

I really don’t know what to do I am

in a such a bad way mentally right everything is getting on top of me and I cannot cope with anymore shit. Every time I am in one of these low moods my parents blame and tell me to get over it, my grandma fellas to constantly pull myself together, my friend keeps telling me to call crisis and when i do I get nothing then he suggests I call Rachel or Jenny my cpn and mental health worker. I am in such a bad way right now I feel like actually ending it as as the […]

Are you proud of me now?.

I’m not gonna be here anymore so there shouldn’t be anymore trouble. This is what everyone wanted. everyone will be happy now that I’m gone. I’m just a waste of space. ill still be here with you, just look up at the sky and you’ll see the moon shining bright. i never wanted to hurt you. you weren’t the one to blame. it was to world and this awful race. I’m sorry but this just isn’t my place. Born in the wrong place, born in the the wrong time. i cant deal with all the pain, I’m not a fighter. […]