One hour. You said it was going to be ONE. FUCKING. HOUR. I waited and waited and waited some more, tried to call your cell & never got an answer. “I’m still here,” I said, “in case you forgot to come and pick me up.” I waited more, God knows I lost count how long.
I said to myself, Fine, if you don’t come and pick me up when you say you will, you can come and pick me up at the fucking morgue! I was tempted, just a bit, to walk out into oncoming traffic, or climb over the balcony railing and jumping off. But […]
I want to erase every single trace of my existence.
But it sucks seeing my ex bf marrying some girl he managed to replace me with so quickly. I mean come on dude you’re 19 and you’re ready to spend the rest of your life with her? It makes me lol and want to cry at the same time.
I doubt any man is gonna want a woman with scars all over her body though =.=
Any of you feel the same way? I want someone in my life to help me along my goal to getting my survivor’s mentality back.
But I now also have a problem with the whole love life thing because of […]
Boring post today. I can feel my mind melting away.
I dreamed about the apocalypse again. But at least I was in control.
I am weasel.
It’s not that I’m unattractive, I’m just embarrassed by my face; I hate moving my mouth in front of people; I hate when people look at me. I try to be social but I just creep people out, and that just puts me two steps backwards. My brain is slowing down. I can’t remember words or concepts I need to communicate with people. My brain has become so tired I struggle to remember correct sentence structure when speaking. I am thrust into all of these social activities because of my boyfriend and I constantly embarrass him. Sometimes he catches me staring at nothing and asks […]
Just how many times have I wanted to cry.
But somehow “it’s not manly to cry”.
And I’ve never really cared about this weird social norm, but now the tears just won’t come.
I am reaching but I fall
And the stars are black and cold
As I stare into the void
Of a world that cannot hold
I’ll escape now from this world
From the world of my beloved
There is nowhere I can turn
There is no way to go on
My soul cries out in anguish every time I get backstabbed by the one I love most.
Why cant they just understand, just listen to me and how this feels
You dont have to deal with this so you cant fully understand but can you at least try?
Stop telling me to JUST BE HAPPY
Beacuse i want to be happy on my own without the pills but right now i cant
Just please try to unserstand, please im begging……..
Scatter my ashes,
Out on the sea.
Scatter my ashes,
Do it for me.
Scatter my ashes,
Under moonlight.
Scatter my ashes,
Do it tonight.
Scatter my ashes,
Just say a quick prayer.
Scatter my ashes,
My soul won’t be there.
Scatter my ashes,
Out from the boat.
Scatter my ashes,
Watching them float.
Scatter my ashes,
While standing the bow,
Empty the urn,
Scatter them now.
Scatter my ashes,
Scatter them well.
Scatter my ashes,
As the boat rocks in the swell.
Scatter my ashes,
Now I am home.
Scatter my ashes,
No longer alone.
have a great day
I’m tired of this mess that ive made my life. I have been suicidal since my first breakup. All of my relationships have always ended in the girl either cheating or leaving for one reason or another. Its usually the classic “its not you its me” crap. I am a very loving and emotional person and no matter how many women say that is what they are looking for, it is simply not the truth. I just got out of a “relationship” with a girl that i thought was a person i could trust. I should have known better. I was laying in bed with […]
Yesterday my mum told me that my sister has been taken back into hospital again on a section for the umpteenth time in the last few years. She used to be a risk analyst in an investment bank – less than five years ago. Now she thinks she is god’s wife, she is having his children and that the spirits are going to take her to another place the family can not reach.
She is not the only sibling in my family that has mental illness. I have it, my brother has it and her twin has it. All four of us by my dad are […]
Someone once told me “the grass is much greener on the other side”. So I paid a visit because its possible I missed it. It was different but exactly the same.
Until further notice, I’m in between.
From where I’m standing, my grass is green.
I have been MIA for awhile, had to deal with all the crap in my life. And to be honest I’m numb so numb that I wonder if the pain was honestly so bad that I had to shut it off like this. Other times I question whether I ever truly cared in the first place. I loved this guy once and he broke my heart and soul TWICE. And I feel nothing, absolutely nothing at all not even a little something. I look at him, I’ve kissed him again just to see how it would make me feel. And yet there is nothing I […]
You probably couldn’t care less to other people’s struggles because you got your own problems, but maybe we’re facing the same situation.I’m almost 18 now, and I’ve been struggling with my appearance since 13.It’s one of countless reasons why I feel depressed and suicidal.I’m a skinny pale shit, I have acne for 5 years, I hate my hair, and so on.People are always criticizing me : “You’re ugly!”; “You should get a tanning, ugly corpse!”; Your acne blemishes are horrible”; “You’re so skinny and look like a girl, an ugly girl!”.And the worst it’s that it’s truth, a harsh bitter truth.I try to ignore their […]
There is peace all over this earth, but never will I find peace. I don’t belong anywhere, and everywhere I go, all I see is disapointment and isolation. I love this planet, and I love humanity. Thing is, humans with no respect are destroying it and I can’t stand it. It hurts me to see all these animals being mistreated and chopped into food, it hurts to see all this oil and trash in our beautiful seas, all these people starving, these nuclear stations, this poison in our food, the polluted air, wars, fluoride in the water…. I’m just a witness of all this desolation […]
The contains of this life are far more extraordinary beyond the four walls I’m imprisoned by. The expansions of my sight reign from corner to corner, not from valley to green field after family of song birds. I aspire to be, not to see, but to hold, not to flutter past. I anticipate the flight – flight to passage. Not the body working, but the heart impaired with soul. The emotion and pain far too great to subside with overjoy. The sun – what is “sun?” A large, yellow, imperative – to – life element? But if not there, would we partake in adaption? The […]