I’m heading down a destructive path I don’t care anymore Im jut kinda done with it. I’m ignoring how I feel it builds up and I freak out have breakdowns and panic attacks. I’m not functioning right. Im to busy helping others trying to make ten happy and worrying about them that I don’t even help myself or even try to. I don’t know what to do I don’t think I want to get help anymore I’m just kinda here.

A real successful life is something like stevejobs, elonmusk, obama, billgates…

Most of human beings are unaware that they are unsuccessful

Even if they continue to live in the way they are now, probability of getting real success is zero

I really don’t know what driving them to live

stupid humans!!

i want to die

I realized deeply that I have no chance. Every aspect of my life is too damaged to keep pushing. Sometimes you just have to accept things, however painful it might be to accept that life has to end. I spoke to an old friend on the phone last week, someone I haven’t spoken to for over a year. She was my surrogate mother when I was 17, when I lived away from home. She will be 70 this year. She said she will call me again. She told me she loved me when we said goodbye. I know that I don’t have to speak to […]

As to anyone if you need to talk, vent, yell, say anything and everything. Kik me boricua_loca23. I will not judge you nor anything you need to talking about. Please if you want to talk. Don’t be shy or scared I’m just here if you need someone.

wow, i just stumbled upon this site… amazing… i’ve struggled with suicide since i was a child. i’m 23 now. and i’ve been planning to finally succeed this weekend. just getting things in order, getting my paycheck on friday so i can buy what i need. i thought i was a freak of nature, a psycho, and now i know i’m not alone…

i feel so awful for the pain i know i will cause my family and loved ones, but i literally cannot bear this anymore. i live in torment, i have no reason to be unhappy, my life has not been unpleasant and i […]

Once again as the time ticks on my parents ask if I’m okay.

You want the truth mom I’m not okay far from it but thanks for trying.

Dad: do I even call you dad anymore? You want the truth too!? I hate you I never thought I’d get here but bam! Life proves me wrong. Why do I hate you? Your an insufferable, arrogant, asshole that I’ve hated since I was 10, 3 years! This hate has grown stronger. You yell and make me feel worthless, you say all this bullshit about me like you mean it all but you fucking don’t. You know you don’t. […]

Think i am ready to start over per say. I don’t have a medical condition or was i bullied. Only 37 but feel like 90. Just ready to go. My solution to problems and issues was to start alienating everyone in my life. Did not prepare for succeeding. Got what i thought i wanted. Miserable eveyday and not willing to live like this. If there is someone in your life don’t make my mistake. Don’t let pride give you an excuse to shut everyone out. That person may be able to show you a brighter day. Wish i could articulate better. Can’t get out what […]

I want to cut, I want to cut, cut, cut, cut, blood, drip, drop, razor, sharp, blade – My therapist needs to be on call right now, and he needs to stop being a prick.  Anyways, you probably think I am another whiney teenager…  Nope I am a bitchy 30 year old nasty **** whore.  I keep thinking the best way to rid the world of my filth is to jump off that bridge.  BUT I have done that once and survived injured but alive and pissed off.  I could just use some words of wisdom or hilarious stupidity right now.  THANK YOU

My father just called me a worthless piece of crap, and it’s my fault. My 8 year old brother is on the couch bored and helpless, and it’s my fault. My mother is barley making it through the day, and it’s my fault. I’m a miserable little fuck, and IT’S MY FAULT.

NOTE: This really isn’t a good poem but i thought, i’d share anyway

Where are you?
I’m listening for you
closely and carefully, I watched you
I swore, i wouldn’t let you go
even when you insisted to do so

Hours pass on…

i still cannot find you. please come out and play
remember i told you, there is always a way
why do you hide?
is it because I cry?
or is because I know, you always lie?

The world still spins
make it stop
before I give up on my knee’s
and drop

no more running, come out where i can see
please, i beg of you..do not be […]

Fear. Fatigue. Darkness. Anger. Pain. Shame.

Hey names jane 12

my life was good up to age 7. My got ill with dementia. Her side doesnt help much. My dad and his family took care of us. My mum has been taken in and out of hospital for the past 4 years. It has taken alot out of all of us. Me and my sisters were taken in to care before my dad got full custody of us. (He and my mum seperated) my dad is stressed all the time. My mum doesn’t want to take her medicine.  She always talks about God god god god. He hasnt done anything.  My life […]

Is it wrong to kill yourself if you truly believe it will make other lives happier? Or is that still considered selfish? Because I want to help others, not myself.

My mom doesn’t understand that she is only making things worse for me. She says she’s going to get me counseling and that I need to talk to someone about God. I just want her to listen and accept me without trying to force religion on me. I do believe there is a god, but I have questions. However, who doesn’t? She screams and yells at me for things she doesn’t even understand herself. She tells me that I need to talk to someone. Well, the only person I want to reach out to and tell them why I am the way I am is […]

So I have finnaly manage the perfect plan. Quit my job, leaving my house, my animals have been placed with family members with the pretence of going travelling around the world. But its actually the perfect plan to finally have the opportunity to be in the position to end it without having to feel guilty about leaving my family to deal with all of my crap. House, bills, animals… So now will travel and see the most amazing things i. The world then i can go without felling guilty.

Its weird, when I was growing up in a very conservative home, went to a Christian school and I used to feel like I was suffocating all the time. I am not a very religious person because I don’t really see the point. Who can prove one god exists and one doesn’t? My life goes pretty smoothly and I have great family and friends and I play college sport; so it seems as though my life as a purpose right? I feel as though when I truly look at life as a whole I don’t understand how God (whoever that may be) can not be […]

In this Martian, barren land
Upon a rustic hill I stand
on this ground no being breathes
to allow for ghastly, ghoulish deeds.

Phantoms reek of mystic smells,
And devils ring their wailing bells
Whose voices warn of blasphemy
And sing of brewing agony.

No protest comes from those deceased,
Their bodies slain with frightful ease.
A sickle formed of lust and greed
Carried out this gruesome deed.

Gods bear witness to my crime
Condemning this sold life of mine.
The children vanish in the sand
and out protrudes their withered hands

I feel my burning blood on fire
As I amass this desert […]

I’m set on my plan to end things but one thing that i have always wondered with overdoses …. tried many times and failed but what are peoples opinions, lots in one go or drag it out so to speak so a few and often? Just wondered what people found as I always end up being sick even with anti sickness tablets :/ it’s one thing that has always puzzled me, not od’ing this time but something that has played on my mind since last attempt