dear friends, yesterday was very bad ,bad today is even worse.everytime im outside i feel like sinking in that sea of sadness ,im such a tiny creation in a huge world ,and in the middle of the crowd i walk alone witha noticable weary face
sometimes while im walking my tears would be falling down and i cant hold them from falling ,but i become so afread from other people s looks ,because i have always wished to be strong ,carefree and self confident ,i never understand why i cant acheive that .this is not the only thing i question myself about everyday […]

well, we hugged for the first time on Thursday, then again on Friday but we didn’t hug today

Sorry I stole this from another post and just thought it was cute

I want to be/look like a club girl

Its really just you alone in this life but of course you  never tell people that and you never tell kids that they’ll find out on their own

I’ve seen throughout my life a reoccurring cop out argument and honestly the only argument happy go lucky people bring to the table. Well its your “choice” if you want to be miserable. “That’s your choice to look at things that way instead of my way, and that’s why you’re miserable.” That’s basically saying there’s only one mindset that works in this world and that’s whatever the hell works for them which they always fail to explain. Are you kidding me? Really if you think about it that’s the same sort of logic that homophobes use towards gays, “your lifestyle and sexuality is a choice, and […]

Hi…. I’m new to this so yeah

Who here thinks that the very origin of their depression and suicidal thoughts lies within school? Not that the school itself actively aims at making its students depressive, but rather the fact that “natural selection” is a far stronger force between children than sympathy/ empathy. The fact that teachers cannot and will not truly help the victims of bullying and sanction the offenders.

For those of you who don’t agree with the term “natural selection”: Of course the “stronger” students will not kill off the weaker ones. But as long as there are some children who weren’t educated to be nice to one another (and it […]

I’ll try to cut the bulk and give you guys the gyst, but it is hard. I have been battling suicidal thoughts and self-harming for over a decade. I never thought when I first started this, that I would have my own place, a growing family, and still be struggling with the razor.

Anyway. I’m an only child from a one parent family. My dad is as strange to me as people I have never met before, and I am okay with that. He wandered back into my mom’s life for fun occasional sex when I was 12; that’s when my battle began. When I self-harmed […]

Was HIHW…

Was deleted along with all my posts by the mods.

Those who reported me for my posts, you got what you want.

See you guys, it wasn’t my choice.

I used my other email to make this post and say bye.

Stay positive, folks, see, read, and listen to positive things!  It helps!!!

My first love just told me she needed a break. She said I put so much in this relationship, and she felt like she can’t do the same. She says she doesn’t know if she can commit right now. I told her I didn’t need her to, that I want her the way she is. But still, she decided on a break of “a few days at least.” I’m livid, and have already thoroughly thought about suicide. This is tearing me apart, I can’t deal with this. I’m angry, and I don’t know if it’s because of the break, or if I’m angry at her […]

long story short, my life blows and I can’t change my situation for at least 3 more years… SO looking to get this shit over with it it’s gone from bad to progressively shitty. please please help me finish it. I’ve tried everything. therapy, medication, mental institution, communication, sobriety, nothing works. looking for femoral artery method tips or hs2/detergent gas method. I DONT want to hurt anyone else, so please any advice/tips on it??

Thats it… goodbye

today was a bad day for me because most people don’t like me and i don’t know y because i don’t really do anything to anyone for them to not like me and i only have 3 good friends and i get made fun of every day of my life and i can’t take it anymore it is really starting to get to me and i just want to end it all but i don’t think i can i want to be something in me is telling me not i just don’t no what to do anymore!!!!!

I am an idiot. that’s what i am. a fool. i am a dreamer. i am not living in reality. why do i act stupidly in front of others? why the hell? why can’t i ever know how to act? i’ve such a self-defeating tendency… i deliberately ruin everything. even at those actual moments i know what i am speaking and how it can be changed to give a better and more clear presentation of what i’m trying to say, but i don’t do that. i deliberately speak whatever the stupid statement come in my mouth. i know the hidden actual meaning/emotion behind their statements, […]

I feel so alone right now I can’t explain it but I feel like I matter nothing to anyone at all. I feel its as if I don’t belong here on this world and if I died tomorrow it would matter none as no one would miss me at all. I wish I was never born because I feel like everything I touch turns to shit. I feel like everything is crumbling around me and everyone hates me even my girlfriend I just want something to go right all I am is a disappointment  and I will never stop being one. I hate myself.

If I knew anxiety was produced by my right arm I would find a way to tear it off. There is no emotion that turns physical on me faster or more intensely than anxiety. I drank and took every drug I could get my hands on for many years trying to avoid anxiety. Of course that never really worked except when I passed out but what good is that? I turned to guided meditation and self hypnosis for a while but that never really worked either. I tried spiritual things too but I found that there isn’t really a God out there that gives a […]

I am tired. Faking the smile, holding back the tears, hiding the scars, everything. These past 3 years have been so exhausting I feel as though my time is coming soon. The thoughts grow stronger, and my deep need for death seems imminent. I just want to go and never look back. I don’t want to write notes or express anything to my relatives or friends for my passing. I just want it to be quick and painless.

My question to all of you:

How has near suicidal success affected you?

I Have several business plans I’d like to discuss…I think I’ve came up with an invention that could make me filthy rich…. If you think you can contribute and you’re trust worthy…. We can brain storm about improving my idea and getting funding…