I get so angry over the littlest things. Tonight my mom accidentally threw my straw away so I went off. I was so scared of physically hurting myself or herself that I told her to call the cops on me. I didn’t know what to do. She said she wouldn’t call and that just made me angrier. I feel guilty after doing this, but no one can understand that I want help. Every time I reach out for help I’m turned away.

My feelings are kind of idle

I’m not feeling much , but rather feel nothing than sadness.

I saw my boyfriend(not so boyfriend) today

he made love to me.

the feeling of having someone who means so much to you , to caress you. hold you

the impact it has on me, is outstanding

and i’m scared about that, he doesn’t know how much he means to me , my life.

He left afterwards , and its like the sunlight dimmed.

All my life I’ve known I wasn’t wanted by anyone. I’ve been told by plenty, even the one’s that are programed to love you no matter what. The first time I thought of dying was when my mother told me that I was worthless to her that she didn’t want me. It hurt so much that someone I loved could hurt me in a mental way, I told myself that I didn’t ever want to hear those word again so I tried my best little girl anyone could be. It didn’t work. So I just would just stayed quite and stop loving everyone. As I grew up we moved allot to the […]

I’ve lost it again… That happiness that made me feel all bubbly again. Unfortunately my depression disorder gets the best of me in the end. Fuck… I don’t choose to be like this. It just happens. I don’t try to make myself have anxiety attacks everyday. I don’t try to shake. I know I ignore people but that’s only because I don’t want to hurt them with myself. I’m just unreasonably depressed once again. Any suggestions on how to stop the disorder???

Strangers! . My arm is tattered, torn to shreds.

Failed for one last attempt, so I punished me.

74.

I stopped at seventy four, apparently .

I counted after.

Seventy four wounds, on my arm.

Seventy four little trickles rolling down my arm.

And i’m still fucking here. The people I live with, the ones I used to call family. Are nothing more than careless strangers. This isn’t the first time I’ve worn nothing but jackets and long sleeve’s for days straight, they know, but they don’t care. I’m their disposable MULE. Nothing more than a slave. These people, who I used to hug, and tell them I love them more than […]

I have good reasons.

I was physically and sexually abused growing up. I finally said something at age 14 took the guy to court and with 12 other convictions he got away with it. My grandmother disowned me. It was her husband. Last year I attempted suicide after my husband decided he didn’t want me anymore. Apparently 60 ambien 120 xanax and 20 sleeping pills OTC are not enough. Got sent to the Looney bin for 3 days. Oh what a joy. He still didn’t want me. I got sent to live with my mother who’s schizophrenic and my father who is bipolar. 3months of mental […]

So i have devised a couple of plans, but never gone through with them. However this one occasion I did it on the spur of the moment. I had already got the worst possible results I could have imagined and as soon as I told my dad who had spent a fair amount on my education I knew how disappointed he was. He took me to the army office and decided that I should enroll. I still tried to keep myself together even though I could feel myself crumbling inside already having broken down once in front of my tutor that day. I couldn’t figure […]

Hello Guys,

It’s day three for this. I don’t know why I keep doing this… Maybe its because I need to write my feelings down somewhere. I haven’t been okay or good. I’ve been stressed, tired, and depressed. Sometimes I just want a hug, but none of my friends know about me being depressed. Except for one, but I’ve never met them. I talk to them. I text them. Facebook message them. But I have never met them. And I can’t ask them for a hug, because if I would I know I would feel guilty. I would feel selfish. I would feel like a burden. […]

I think it’s quite sad that I have resorted to posting on a website like this.

It’s hard to put into words. I don’t know why I keep doing what I do. I wish I was normal. I wish I didn’t have the urge to cut myself everytime I get upset. I feel pathetic. Everytime I do it. I wish I could be normal. All this is so exhausting.

It’s exhausting pretending everyday that I’m okay. That I’m that perfect student, perfect daughter, perfect friend. It’s mentally exhausting.

My brother comes home from the Marines today. I really want to tell him my secret. I’m very afraid he’ll […]

To be fair, to sum it all up I am simply just a lonely teenager who is loved by none, has many things wrong with her mental stability, obsesses with too many bands and unreal things, is addicted to self harm, has attempted suicide that many times I can no longer count them all on my fingers, drinks way too much coffee and alcohol, and reads too many band fanfictions.

And all I can do when I read that over is stare blankly at the laptop screen.

They say suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem, but sometimes that problem isn’t so temporary.

well. imma try my best to help you as much as i can and i hope im able to get through to you.
So.. i used to in your shoes. its either not eating trying to kill yourself or cutting. and i did all 3. there might be more but im not aware of them really. anyways . you are most likely not wanting to live an the moment right now. and i completely understand. but tell your self everyday that you are beautiful and special and perfect in someones eyes. write your self notes in the bath room or on […]

I came here thinking I would actually try to talk through my thoughts. I have plenty at the moment. I know that I am a failure. My results speak for themselves. My memory isn’t what it’s used to be and I am pretty sure I am just as stupid as I thought at the beginning of it all. Life just seems like one long endless journey. I feel so empty inside. I know my dad looks at me with disappointment all the money he has spent and I couldn’t live up to my potential. He still pays for me even after failing. I know he […]

Has anyone considered death by hypothermia? It’s pretty cold here in the UK currently, I was thinking of walking up a mountain one night and getting drunk then taking my clothes off so I’d get hypothermia and permanently fall asleep. Maybe some sleeping pills for that extra push over the edge.

Does anyone know if it actually works? How painful would it be (if you’re not drunk first)?

the reason I can bring myself to post on SP from time to time is because it feels the most like talking to a wall. there’s still that voice in my head telling me I’m going to be hated for doing it, telling me about how bad people will treat me if they see how weak I am.
Don’t get me wrong, I’m not the kind of guy who’s silently locked up in his corner, I talk to people. But I never tell them anything real, everything I say is a load of filler and if I do say something meaningfull, it’s never about me.

I’m […]

Is brain way of saying

” you already screwed your life, be a man and die fast . don’t let earth’s weight increase by ~6okg because of you”

you are put in situations which absolutely mess with your mind and there’s nothing you can do. even though friends and family try and say all these things like its just a setback or do some exercise or move on etc etc.. the clichés…

I do feel that these things apply to people who are just temporarily sad or have hope. people who are beyond that point and want the sweet release of death are not motivated by this sort of stuff.. I truly feel that people don’t get it and they don’t understand. it is easy to comment from outside of the looking glass. I […]

for whatever reason your attempt was thwarted..do/did you feel at any point that being saved was the worst thing that could have happened to you? death was the sweeter proposition than life? I seriously feel that death is bad-named for no reason, it is life that causes the problems

An interview with the lead singer of Red light King:

Redlight King have been heating up airwaves with their single ‘Bullet in My Hand’ off of their debut album ‘Something For the Pain’ and now they have released acoustic videos for both the hit single and album’s title track.

In our interview with Redlight King, frontman Kaz told us that ‘Bullet In My Hand’ is about “taking a chance and making the decision to move forward. That is what it’s about and musically I wanted it to rock really hard. The song started with the line “I came out of the darkness / With a bullet in […]