and leave a good looking corpse on earth

life after 30 is bull shit

If so, why can’t it be 25?

I don’t want to die. I don’t want to give up, but I cannot continue living in agony and have the one person who is suppose to be there for me, protect, and show guidance; put me down and make me live in constant regret of my mistakes.

I have one possible chance at getting out of this hell of an environment. However, it seems unlikely that it may happen due to the lack of response.

How can anyone stay positive when you’re constantly put down?

You know I can’t afford to leave otherwise I would have done that already. But you threaten me regardless. You take advantage […]

What nobody knows about me is that my life is consumed by depression,  low self-esteem, and anxiety.  I originally wrote a long post for you to read that went into immense detail about my personal life and problems, but then I deleted it.  Why?  I deleted it because none of it matters.  I have come to the point where nothing matters anymore.  I don’t have any friends or any family members to talk to, and I have too much anxiety to talk in person.  At least this is kind of like telling somebody.

Everything in life feels like a chore.  Nothing is enjoyable.  I am a nineteen-year-old college student […]

for years ive read peoples stories on here.. just never bothered making an account myself until now..

please just note that im not here to listen to people tell me “life will get better” all that will likely be met with is hate. the same intense hate i feel towards the tons of other people that gave me false hope my whole life. its because of them that i have gotten to this point of insanity. the false hopes.. and me being pathetically naive.. clinging to whatever words i can to convince me to keep trying. does anyone have a clue how insane it can make […]

If you really want to suicide :

Do what you hate much, Meet people whom you don’t like at all,  Visit places that are awkward, Breakup with gf

Get as much pain as possible

Hurting your body and making it suffer till it won’t work is not suicide it is a crime.

a tree, a rock, grain of sand, a human body are all earth’s resources and those all owned by planet earth

You don’t have right to destroy any of them.  Your body is not yours but earth’s: even your consciousness is controlling it.

I gave you all of me why do you hate me, use me. I love you why do not care, why did you lie to me, why leave me. You said I was yourshttp://suicideproject.org/wp-content/uploads/2013/10/13.-Goodbye-Cruel-World.mp3

I know it’s easy to say this but for those of u who have had a bad day, just remember it’s not over, and it shouldn’t be. Because you know what? Yeah there will be a lot worse days ahead but there’s always gonna be good days as well. Today was stressful and I suppose depressing. My hallucinations and depression have gotten worse and it sucks because it’s preventing me from being normal. Yeah I’m crazy I know. But I’m just trying to be positive.

honestly all i want to do is feel better. Nothing and no one makes me feel good anymore. I dont want to feel anything. I wish i could be a robot so i could just be numb. I hate feeling like a failure and im going no where in life. All i do is stress people out and make everyone else unhappy. Im a mosquito that just bothers everyone. And i dont want to be a bother anymore, i just want everything to be over.

Sometimes i wish i could blow up the whole planet. With all thats wrong  with the world it seems like the bad outweighs the good. Those in power only want to make money. War will never end because they make money off of it and everyone ignores it?  We sens people off to fight battles that are totally unnessesary. There aren’t enough people to stand up for what is right. I attendes a protest last year to stop testing party pills on animals and there were so many of us that came together to fight against it and in the end it wasnt up to […]

My New Years resolution is to stop cutting and to not to attempt suicide  this year. I’m going to try and love myself… But it’s easier said than done and I’m trying to ignore the  tugging feeling I feel the one that wants me to slice my arms .

I’m afraid I will have to choose soon. Choose between suicide or dying inside long before I kill myself. It’s just… I can’t take the pain, so somehow, slowly, I just stop feeling at all. Pretty soon I won’t feel love, I won’t be myself anymore. Empty shell. I kinda want to die when still being myself… For the past week I’ve done some really nasty things, and had a lot of fucked up thoughts, and I’m not that person. I don’t want to be that person.

I actually wrote about this in my first two posts here, over a year ago.

“I almost forgotten who I […]

Simple question…

You could either choose super street smart or super book smart…

Which one would you choose…why?…and which one is better in your opinion?…

A little over two years ago one of my friends killed herself. We were in 8th grade… Ever since then i have struggled with depression, cutting, and eating disorders… Lately ive found myself getting better, living happier… My boyfriend has really been helping me and i was finally feeling like i belong.. I wasnt starving myself for days; i would eat great healthy meals.. But ofcourse i had to get weighed at a doctors appointment.. 160 at 5’6 im very atheletic and play on a national volleyball team, but i feel so over weight and lately my depression has all been coming back and ive […]

I’m scared of myself. I want to hurt people. No, it’s not just a want. It’s like a need. A strong, unrelenting urge which is almost impossible to stop. And I don’t just want to hurt them with a slap or something. I want to seriously hurt them. It pleases me. And then when I see people in pain, it makes me happy. It amuses me, and I’ll physically laugh out loud. And I don’t know why.

Just earlier, my mum was downstairs with me and I went into the kitchen for something, and I saw the knives in the cupboards. I picked one up and […]

I’m new here, just discovered the site.
Well, I don’t like to live. Everything to me seems pointless. I know some of you feel the same way and even wrote it here, so I won’t talk much about it.

Fact is somethings distract me from boredom and depression and suicide thoughts. Going out, getting hobbies, improving skills are some ways to make me feel better. But it always end. I always finish a text, finish sewing a plushie finish writting a poem. But I found one thing which keeps making me… not want to live, but it keeps me from wanting to die.

I make people’s life […]

I’ve been planning this for a long time, but tomorrow is the day.I kept telling myself just to wait one more week, or month to see if I changed my mind. I haven’t. I just want it to end. I’ve been waiting for 5 years. My life gets crapier by the day. I just want to find a way so my family isn’t hurt. If I died by what appeared to be an accident, nobody would care. I don’t want the attention that people get when they take their own life. Any suggestions?

I honestly hate myself more than someone could ever do 🙁 Why did i have to be born in this place and body , why do i have to suffer so much. I am not a normal person anymore, my body is starting to slowly die. I am pale and always cold, i dont go out anymore , all i do is lock myself in my dark room and barely eat anything. I am scared that it will hurt when i do it, but i decided that there is nothing left for me.

I hate looking myself at the mirror , it just reminds me of […]

Anyone here from Dublin? Just looking for someone to talk to. My plans are kinda vague at the moment and I haven’t arranged anything. I have a skype/email/mobile. Just comment on this post so we can chat.

On wednesday I will have to go to School again. This is the Thing that I hate about the Holidays: They have an end. I Need to stand up at 6 am again,after three hours of sleep or so, covering my face with Makeup, getting dressed and catching the bus to hell. In School I’m just numb and trying to ignore everything and everyone. Talking to People that act like they would be interested in my life. I’m trying to make my parents proud with good grades, but nothing works I just can’t concentrate when the cold emptiness fills every single part of my Body. […]