You know that rusty, old, broken down jalopy that should have been scrapped years ago? Well, some people just hang on to broken down things like that because they’re feeling sentimental about whatever item. But… if it doesn’t run, it’s rusty and broken down and it’s ugly like hell, what’s the point of keeping it? It’s costing that family a fortune just to store it and for no reason. It will never be fixed, it will never run again. It’s an embarrassment to even have around.

That crappy, junky old car is me.  My family spends all their effort and money to keep me alive. I’m […]

Going to go hangout with someone normal from before my mental breakdown and I got all weird I so don’t wanna go I cant just stay here depressed and mad all the time…Wish me luck <3 Hoping for the best so fucking nervous

I don’t think I can ever get rid of depression. Sure I can push it out of my life for a while, but it comes back and finds me and clings to me and the cycle of trying to stay afloat and gasping for air starts all over again. I don’t live, I only go from one depression episode to the next. What happens in between is just enough recovery time to watch myself almost die all over again. I am trapped, I am alone and not alone at the same time. Depression is always with me and it is never going to leave.

I […]

I usto wonder why the old members left while i stayed, now i know. There is only so much you can get from here. I usto think they would stay in touch,, now i know they don’t. I usto wonder what it was like to be discarded so completely, now i know. I usto wonder if i could get what i wanted in life, now i know i cant. I usto wonder why i am like i am, now i know im what normal people compare themselves to when they want to feel better. I usto wonder why im alive, now i know because i […]

Living with someone you don’t know is near impossible when it comes to staying sane. I love her because she is my sister, but I don’t know her. And in turn she doesn’t know me, she doesn’t know how it drives me insane when she pushes her son on me, it drives me crazy when I have to take the dog out when it’s not my dog and I don’t want it. It drives me insane when I sit alone in silence while she sits in silence with her boy friend who claims to have real feelings for me rather than any feelings for her. […]

I’m the crazy one because i don’t want to live in a world like this? I don’t want a life of agony? IF I DIED HE CLEARLY WOULDN’T CARE AND THAT MAKES ME WANT TO DIE MORE. my health isn’t important enough? he’s so wrong about me. i know I’m partially to blame, i know I’ve done things wrong, but if i try and make it better, and stick around every day and just try my hardest, can i keep blaming myself? how can someone just care for somebody else SO LITTLE when the other person loves them more than anything? how can someone feel […]

another user – missmisery posted a quote which ended with “And yet nobody down on the sidewalk, looking up and yelling ‘Don’t!’ and ‘Hang on!’, can understand the jump. Not really. You’d have to have personally been trapped and felt flames to really understand a terror way beyond falling.”

It was an absolutely perfect summation of why we take that step.

I have failed my exams, repeatedly, and watched lesser people pass. This recent one pushed me over. I had given it everything because knew full well I needed to pass but as usual when I didn’t see my number up there. I gave up. this life of failure […]

My husband and I have never had a great relationship. We tear each other down and both have such low self-esteem that we stay together because (at least I believe) that no one else will have me. I have cut myself in the past, had eating disorders, rage, etc. A couple months ago we got into such a big fight that he called the police because I was threatening to kill myself, I had his hunting knife and everything. We both ended up getting charged and have both decided we will NEVER be calling the police again. Instead of helping me/us they ruined our lives […]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SzsDHtzx6tI

And at the end of the night it’s always just me. Alone.
And this is how I will die.

well, thats a very good question. but if i knew the answer, if i can give any answer to anything at this piont in my life, i wouldnt hav been here in the first place. i’m a 29 yrs old guy who lives in the third world. who has been blessed with the good things in life by my country’s standard but didnt know how to keep them. but my breaking point was almost a year ago when the love of my life left me. that was my first experiance of suicidal ideation. i even made plans and i was so convinced that i told […]

EVERYTHING WILL SOON BE O.K, AT LEAST I THINK SO I MEAN  YOU KNOW SOMETIMES IT’LL GET WORSE AND WORSE BUT MY FELLOWS STRUGGLING WITH LIFE LIKE ME, IT GETS BETTER SOME DAYS, WHETHER IT’S A NEW BAND YOU’RE FOND OF OR YOUR MUM OR DAD BOUGHT YOU SOMETHING TO EAT THAT YOU LOVE JUST TO SHOW THEY CARE OR WHETHER YOUR SIBLINGS PLAY FIGHT WITH YOU BUT GET YOU SO MAD YOU LAUGH, JUST REMEMBER IT’S THOSE SMALL THINGS THAT SHOULD MAKE YOU HAPPY, NOT WHETHER YOU GET A SHIT TON OF LIKES ON FACEBOOK OR WHATEVER, IT’S YOUR FRIENDS AND FAMILY.

If you were to meet me you’d think I was happy and carefree. But that is nothing near the truth, I cut, I cry and repeat. I have thought about suicide but like I said I dont have it that bad, but i have it bad enough. I don’t think I’d ever go through with it but I wish I would and or could. I do have good friend and a great family. But I don’t get if i have all this why do i want to die. It woud be so easy, I have planned it out and everything. But i wont do it […]

My life is just becoming more and more difficult anymore, more then i feel any person should have to deal with. I have survived through alot. Two house fires where i have lost everything. my mother having 3 diffrent types of cancer beating them all just to die to a cardiac myxoma. Leaving me at the age of 19 on my own. But the hardest thing has been most recently, i decided to date after a horrible breakup, only for it to halt my life completely. While dating this girl she ran a stop sign and got into a car accident while i am glad […]

I’ve tried to end myself sadly again I can’t bring myself to do it I’ve tied my noose it’s been there for roughly 2 weeks I’m hoping before long I will just take the plunge!

“The so-called ‘psychotically depressed’ person who tries to kill herself doesn’t do so out of quote ‘hopelessness’ or any abstract conviction that life’s assets and debits do not square. And surely not because death seems suddenly appealing. The person in whom Its invisible agony reaches a certain unendurable level will kill herself the same way a trapped person will eventually jump from the window of a burning high-rise. Make no mistake about people who leap from burning windows. Their terror of falling from a great height is still just as great as it would be for you or me standing speculatively at the same window […]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cRrZD6HZAto

have you ever wonder what it would be like to be crazy? to sit in a padded room scratching out the same numbers over and over on the wall?

42,23,18

42,23,18

42,23,18

To follow the same repeated endless cycle till time indefinite.

this is probably insensitive or stupid to say but i would much rather live in my own fantasy world. The things i create in my mind seem legitimately better than the reality i lead.

I write and write and write so that i can escape my own boring reality, the same reality i said i would never lead.

I said i would never work a normal job: FAIL

i would be […]

the little thoughts i think in the dark are enough to set me far apart. The lust i have to study and learn everything there is to learn is the only drive i have.

The thoughts i thnk in the dark are enough to set me apart, i try so hard to be like the rest, but momma never loved me.

The thoughts i think in the dark are enough to set me apart, there are so many skeletons in my closet, i blame my twisted views on daddy.

The thoughts i think in the dark are enough to set me apart.

The thoughts i think in the dark […]

The anxiety is back, I don’t know why. I just noticed that I feel nauseous all the time and now my hands shake. This is how I felt as I began sliding into my last complete meltdown where I had myself committed.

It’s terrifying when you think you can see it coming but don’t think you can stop it. I have managed to hold down a decent for 90 days now and my insurance is starting. The master plan is to see the dr. and take care of some health issues I have been neglecting. If I lose my job (like so many before), I lose my […]