I’ve lost it again… That happiness that made me feel all bubbly again. Unfortunately my depression disorder gets the best of me in the end. Fuck… I don’t choose to be like this. It just happens. I don’t try to make myself have anxiety attacks everyday. I don’t try to shake. I know I ignore people but that’s only because I don’t want to hurt them with myself. I’m just unreasonably depressed once again. Any suggestions on how to stop the disorder???
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good days, bad days.
some really good, some really bad.
we all have them.
I was happier last week than I am now, but its situational and for various reasons that make my life like a “wave”.
I just know all is not lost (except my dog that died).
Tonight I found out I lost my Netflix account. Not a big deal as a problem in life…. but just another chip off it.
I know a lot of folks here suffer a lot more, but I do my share for sure.
Just hang in there. Better days are coming, and sometimes you never know how the day will end.
Last week I met someone on here who made me very happy, in fact the ecard she sent me made me so happy I owe my new job to her because she made me shine with happiness at that interviews.
This week I miss talking to her, jsut hoping its temporary 🙂
Thank you. Good luck. I just don’t understand why I have to shake for hours at a time and have the deepest depression thoughts even when I know should be happy. I just can’t smile anymore for no reason at all. I feel so guilty because my boyfriend wants to spend time with me but I don’t want to disappoint him. Especially when he notices me wearing a sweatshirt constantly and me refusing to hug because I know I’ll break down or him trying to pull me back to him to say goodbye and it hurts because my arms are too sore…
i use to go on walks, play happier music. explore my forest.
I’m grounded
hiding things from those who care will only make things worse.
my wife was very good at hiding things.
I was just thinking tonight I was married 14 yers and didnt even know her medical conditions, coz she was too busy on her IPhone talking to other men than me.
But my family doesn’t care… Hell, what family?
99 perent of my family is shit too,.,,,,,, i dont depend on them for happiness, its a mistake to in many cases.
Yeah :/
when it comes down to it, take care of yourself
thats what I had to do since my wife left me
I wish I could… Thank you. Oh, and I am sorry about your wife by the way.
Yesterday you were on top of the world. Now you’re in the gutter. Dramatic turnaround but you still have a chance of getting £5. I don’t know anyone who wouldn’t be heartened by that.
Yeah, you’re right…
Open up to your boyfriend if you think he’ll understand. He cares for you, i’m sure your family does too….but they may be harder to open up to. Remember they probably grounded you because they care about you….not to ruin your life-but it may seem like it now. Discipline is to teach, to keep you safer in the long run. My point is……confide in somebody…….you’ll feel better. And so what if you have a good long cry on your boyfriends shoulder??
If you can go four days out of seven on a high Monday, Wednesday, Friday and Saturday are usually the best days I think. If you’re doing four out of seven that’s pretty good. A really exacting or difficult task doesn’t seem like work if you enjoy it yet an easy job becomes futile labour when you don’t. Psychologically, we don’t like or at least I don’t like eating lettuce because I never liked it and you always tend to find less fun is attributable to a healthy lifestyle. Not because it’s true but through association. Rather than holing everything will be ok, you have to want it more than anything. Living well, having a good life shouldn’t be an onerous task any more than having fun all the time.
Hoping.
Surprisingly hoiling, it’s not a word.
It’s holing. That’s a word which doesn’t get used very often until today. I don’t think I’ve ever used it.
I think hoiling shud b a word….has a nice flow…..nice ring to it. Now we just need a meaning……. 😉
Lettuce is tolerable if you douse it with Bleu Cheese salad dressing & bacon bits.
I’m not drunk. Can’t see a thing without my glasses. I wonder how easy it is to get away with inventing words like that and use them in every day situations. Eventually they might make their way into the online urban dictionary, the ultimate ambition of any linguist.
Blue cheese. Yuck! Think I’ll stick to plain lettuce and use my imagination to conjure up something more appetising. That’s how you make life tolerable. By pretending it’s not happening.
Well let’s start a SP new word movement……hoiling can be the hate n exhaustion you feel just toiling through everyday life?
@c4. I like lettuce(being a herbivore) getting different kinds at the farmers market n bringing it home in the bag i brought myself ;P
I like your approach to making things tolerable Murky….
@Murk; My point was that you can transform something that’s bland & healthy into a passably delicious meal.
On the flip side, you could take something unhealthy and make it good for you. How about vitamin infused cigarettes? Taco salad? Low fat leprechaun burgers? The possibilities are limited only by your imagination.
I once created a definition that was entered into the Urban Dictionary. Look up ‘river mermaid.’
Changing my username has that effect also.
Hmm, both methods are equally effective in making life palatable.
I thought what approach you take is governed by whether you’ve lost any marbles or you just think you’ve lost a few. I think there’s always a psychological component to varying degrees whereas not everyone is deemed crazy.
I’ll check it out Beatrix. My ex husbands name is in there with a few definitions…….not all of them kind, but all of them true, lol
@LostNbroken; Maybe we’re twins who were separated at birth. Do you ever wear sundresses with combat boots? It’s a very comfortable (and fashionable) way to shop. Feeling the breeze on my knees puts me at ease.
If there are two of you, heaven help us.
That’s was a joke. Twins is fine. We are just used to there being only one of you. A singular cosmic blip in the suicidal universe.
@c4 you must have read my mind!!
@ Murky…..do you think the people who have lose their marbles KNOW they have? Or do they just continue on merrily living? In which case which is better?
@c4 what does a leprechaun burger taste like?(I refuse to believe chicken…..not that many things can taste like chicken)
LostnNBroken it depends. If you want to get technical losing a couple of marbles is ok. If you lose them all then you can’t play marbles which is really depressing. It’s rare to find someone completely oblivious to their surroundings but even when you do, I’m sure they can comprehend their suffering. In fact, they are able to understand it more than the world around them. It’s the world that labels people crazy, not them.
Murky…..but by the same token some of the happiest ppl i’ve met (albeit sane ppl) were some of the dumbest. I guess losing your marbles n having no brains isn’t exactly the same thing…..but could be comparable in some cases……
That whole ignorance is bliss argument is quite common on this site. I wouldn’t assume anything. We don’t really know what engine people have under the bonnet without taking a look. You can’t dismiss the extent our experiences define us either.
I love how this went into new word making, to lettuce and blue cheese, then back to serious stuff Cx oh jeez…
I know. You don’t get this kind of excitement anywhere else.
Are you ok?
Is anyone here OK,really?
Leprechaun meat tastes a lot like Unicorn, although both have been on the endangered species list for a while now. A hunting permit is impossible to get, so you’ll have to take a trip to the black market if you want to sample either of these delicacies. One word of caution: Do NOT swallow a leprechauns lucky charms. Very toxic.
@Murky; Thank you. You don’t believe in the multiverse, huh? There’s no chance that you have a doppelganger drifting around in the cosmos betting on Unicorn races?
@ C4 I should hope not but I know the vastness of you universe is something you give a lot of thought. I suppose it depends on whether gambling a universally essential part of life. Predicting the outcome of future events seems to be something sentient creatures on earth are programmed to do in addition to profiting from their opportunism which can make a person suicidal if things don’t go to plan. The possibilities are endless.
@ LostnBroken subjectively I’m not sure. They can be more ok than usual which is a step in the right direction.
@Murky…i suppose you are right…..but for some a step in the right direction is a step towards the exit. “Exit stage right”……the right direction. *half grin*
It might be SP etiquette to stay on the topic the post was intended. But I digress.
Fluctuation in mood seems to be accentuated in some people than others. Factors such as age, experience and personality influence the way we feel in addition to our interpretation of external factors. You’ve got to find out what works best for you to achieve greater stability. We aren’t robots so it’s never going to be perfect.
If a person feels strongly about it and they want to die it’s not our place as observers to confirm that they are making the right decision. Hanging around long enough to find a reason to keep going seems more justifiable.
Some years ago, whilst overseas, my father was mistaken for some other guy from Dublin, Ireland. He might have been able to pull off the façade if not for the tell-tale lack of accent.
I know a Ukrainian girl around my age who looks rather similar to me (except that she is actually tall enough to be a high-fashion model and I’m not). Personality-wise we differ, but we did have some common traits and interests. Does she count as my doppelgänger? I’m not sure. If I was her height we could almost be twins.
Naturally you are right, and it is not a course of action to be taken lightly. There are many factors to consider (& plan for) but some people just don’t find the reason, or can’t wait any longer. For some it is very much the wrong decision.
I wonder where pineapples in European markets originate. Are pineapples in England, for example, grown in Hawaii then shipped there? Are pineapples grown on the African continent sent to Europe? What did people do 200 years ago if they lived in Sweden and wanted a pineapple in January?
I fall well below the kind of person who’s advice should be taken seriously so I’ll leave matters up to a responsible person. Someone once told me on here and I’ve never been able to fault them , that the only purpose in life is to seek out ways of having fun or fulfilment. If your not having fun, are suffering and deem your suffering to be for nothing then there isn’t much point to being alive. A lot of people live their entire life in misery searching for what they don’t perceive as meaning because they don’t think of it in that context but it is. A person cam have a purposeful life without being happy, a person can also be happy which is purposeful in itself. A temporary solution befitting of a temporary life when suicide is often said to be a permanent solution to a… you get the idea. I don’t normally ramble like this.
Murky…….rambly is OK. I see what you are saying, & have the professional weekly. He says “I’m too smart for this crap”……but its easy for a “well” person to say, isn’t it? Don’t get me wrong, we have a great working relationship. But its easy to say that stuff when you’re the guy in the office chair…..
@c4 the pineapples prob ride the unicorns there……that’s how the meat gets to the black market
If you’ve got a disorder that’s unambiguous in that it’s easy to diagnose, identify the cause and treat there’s no problem. When you get into areas that even the specialists are unsure about, you’re not going to get the most out of them. In 60 years they haven’t made much progress in treating depression. The drugs are a lot safer now but they still target the monoamine system.
I WISH i had something as simple as Depression-not to belittle it. Depression is definately a symptom i suffer from. But they know there’s very little they can do for my disorder, then thro…. in some extras for fun……and its not fun lol
I wouldn’t want to guess or assume what is or isn’t wrong with anybody. A lot of people don’t seem to conform with my own experiences and that’s probably down to the way we are wired up. That’s why people have different experiences on different drugs.
,They really don’t know much about any of the mental health issues. Ever notice 95% of drugs they give u for anxiety, depression, psychosis…..they were all meant to be anti-convulsants?
I didn’t know that. A lot of drugs were developed for many illnesses and subsequently found to inadvertently treat something else. There’s a lot of overlaying with antidepressant’s because they are on and off label used to treat all sorts of symptoms. Usually, you can identify similar characteristics in people with different mental health issues. You often find depression and anxiety go together so the same drug is effective at treating both. If they alleviate symptoms in some people but do nothing for others. Once you’ve sort of tried everything I suppose you have to accept there’s nothing else.
And even ppl w the same diagnosis often need dif meds, or people with way dif issues will.be on the same combo. They are just scratching the surface. Here the 28th is supposed to be Mental Health Awareness Day…….bring it out in the open, promote acceptance blah.blah
Its just trying em all till u get the right combo. I guess.
The pharmaceuticals are desperate to develop new drugs because the patents are worth billions so don’t think they aren’t trying. The problem is that they fail clinical trials or aren’t safe enough and don’t get FDA approval. Only the neuroscientists at the cutting edge of mental health understand how the drugs work but they can’t scan the brain to find out what’s amiss. Psychiatrists prescribe drugs based on their textbooks and treating other patients with similar symptoms.
Of course you are right about the almighty $. And to scan MY brain I’d need a triple dose of my clonazepam (Klonopin I think is brand name-up here we only use generics) & i already take 1mg 3x a day lol. Not getting me into one of those things…..have to knock me out
Either way you’re stuck with pills that fuck with your brain
I had an MRI brain scan once. It wasn’t as bad as you’d think. (I thought it would be worse with my slight claustrophobia, but no, I handled it.)
Yeah I know. Cymbalta messed me up big style.
I don’t think it’s important for people to understand me. I see it as a personal issue that only I can get close to resolving. I don’t expect there to be some wonder drug that makes everything ok. I’m just hoping I can get closer to an acceptable standard of life.
I guess its a matter of figuring out what symptoms you can live with and what you need gone.