I can’t wait for the never-ending holidays to end! Can’t wait for the 1st to come, so everything can go back to normal. Why must we go to a party on the 31st? Why?

Tonight I gave in. I now have four more reminders of the battle i’m fighting, and my demons within. Blood stained wrists, I wish I would’ve never started.

I am just wondering whether there are people who believe they have true friends/ girlfriend/ boyfriend/ family but who are suicidal nevertheless. I am not judging reasons to suicide, I am just interested. Because if there aren’t then getting friends is a no-brainer for suicidal persons.

Tomorrow I’m going to hangout with my boyfriend. I don’t want to be depressed I want to try and enjoy seeing one of the very few people whaci love and can make me happy. So I decided to take my anti-depressant just for tonight so I won’t be mega super sad tomorrow. It’s had a possibility of making me a zombie but at least then I can fake it well enough not to ruin our day together I just want him to hold me in our fort and watch old movies. I think tho that i might be okay tomorrow i hope at least.

A soak in hot water after a great shower is soo peacefull.

I hope you all are having a peacefull day too.

How can I produce carbon monoxide without breathing in the fumes of the formic acid (when it’s mixing with sulfuric acid). I couldn’t stand the burning smell and got out of the car. This is so frustrating I want to die so badly. Should I mix the chemicals together in a closed container and then wait a few minutes before letting lose the CO?

Nobody remembers the little stuff about you

I’m not even depressed right now but I don’t know what happen and what I’m going to do with my life which makes me want to kill myself. My major in college turns out have nothing to do with my passion that I found out later but I can’t  just drop out or my family will be furious. I’m stuck with my life I hate. I want to chase my dreams even it means I need to start over and leave everything behind, have a minimum wage job (as long as I still can pay my bills, eat, having a roof above my head and […]

I probably smelled when I hooked up with him,That sharp smell in the back of your teeth

I don’t know why i always feel the urge to just end it when things go wrong. every fight with my girlfriend, every time something is not quite right i just want to kill myself. I feel like i am broken. i feel like i am living in a constant struggle to be happy. I don’t go a day without thinking about killing myself. i don’t think my girlfriend knows how bad it really is. I recently attempted suicide and was very close to actually dying. you would think she would lay off just a little, she acts like nothing even happened. she […]

I wish I felt normal and not weird all the time

I wish I could sit in the living room and watch tv with my sister again

I wish I had a guy again who gave me butterflies and got me excited

This is my first blog, I just need to say what I feel without anyone knowing who I am.

ive been in this boat a very long time , I feel anger for starters even with the most stupid things.  The anger is so so strong I want to kill. When it comes to touching I freeze and cringe , I almost can’t even touch my wife or dogs without it feeling wrong. To compensate for my feelings I have tried suicide with cutting and pills. Each time I do, the hospital revives me. I still keep cutting myself, hoping that I can bleed to […]

A chat recently formed is being hosted for those in depression, or for anyone that needs to kill a little time.  We are open to any new member, and welcome you talk about any topic. Come check it out, and get a feel for it.

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-Anthro

I don’t know whether to drive about an hour and off myself by a lake or rent a motel room. The lake is remote, and the shot won’t draw attention as lots of people shoot guns in the area. Big drawback is my car, not sure where it would wind up. I’d sort of like it easy for my relatives to get. By doing it at the motel, the shot may draw attention if enough people are around. And it will leave a mess and damage. Bug it’s close by and my car would be local. I guess I really shouldn’t be concerned, as my […]

Back then when I was in high school, a person that was once a very good friend of mine half-jokingly said he wanted to commit suicide, for whatever reasons it may be. Me, being the ignorant and ill-informed kid I was, thought that’s silly and I ridiculed him and that idea. It was quite baffling to me considering that he was a very optimistic, fun-loving and happy-go-lucky person. It didn’t occur to me until long after that, that it wasn’t ridiculous at all; that a person should have the rights to take away his or her own life without needing consent from anyone.

Just think about […]

I don’t know why I think this way! I have a good job, loving family and no real money worries, but I constantly feel as if am a drain on my wife and family. I know I suffer from PD, and as I get older I guess I just struggle to live with me! I have bought a thick plastic bag, duct tape and was going to tape the bag tight round my neck, probably tape my mouth too so I can’t scream. Then once all in place and gonna tie-wrap my hands behind my back and let it happen. With my hands secure then […]

Today is my third day of not cutting.

I am proud.

This may seem small but every day I go without  mutilating my own  skin is one day closer to  clean wrists again.