I hear voices taunting me keeping me up at night.
Laughing.
Yelling hateful words at me.
I can’t take it anymore.
I want to cut but i know that’s what they want.
I need help but i know if i tell they will get worse.
Please someone help me.
I can’t take it anymore.

a girl i know who started dating my last boyfriend whilst we were still dating, has begun flirting with my current boyfriend. i feel like she is trying to make me kill myself. she is like going on his ask and sending him kissy faces and she stole his jacket, and urgh. she knows all the shit that i go through and she knows i self harm, and she continues to make my life hell. urgh and i feel like a nasty jealous girlfriend, and i trust him kind of but i dont know im just so pissed of, good thing im going to die […]

I really need some help if any of you could help it will be great. I just called a place to get help but guess what? Something is wrong with their phone and so the woman can’t hear me talking! It’s a toll-free number for disabled adults and the lady says “Hello?” TWO TIMES – and then hangs up the phone! She gives you TWO “Hello?”s and hangs up the phone! What if I was hurt or having to wait to speak because the person abusing me was nearby? I guess she doesn’t care, she can’t wait or check if something is wrong with her […]

Would Antifreeze kill you if you drank it? How much would kill a person, and how long would it take? Would it be incredibly painful? Some Football star offed himself this way.

Theres no way to explain the depth of how fucked up my life is.

I dont know why I bother.

I write and erase becuase it just will sound crazy and whether anybody understands or not, doesnt matter.

Reality is what it is.

My life is pointless. I am sick, moneyless, and skilless. All i do is cause problems in life.

there is nothing good about me.

Self-diagnosis is stupid, but: I think I have avoidant personality disorder. I have all of the symptoms, which began to develop at age 11 or so…

I am one of the strangest, most pathetic people I know.

If you believe, as I do, that this world is operated under demonic beings, then suffering is not about who is lucky and who is unlucky, who is worthy and who is unworthy, who has done good and who has done evil

but rather

who is PREYED UPON and who is left alone.

That sounds very wrong but this is something that has been a long time coming. I’ve suffered with being alone and never belonging. I break all my relationships and I’m always the one that’s good enough for now,  not good enough for ever. This applies to my family, friendships and relationships.

I had a conversation with my now ex today. It was the end of our relationship. We hit a point where I told him that I knew things were hard but that I was willing to work through them because I felt we were worth it. He made it clear, he doesn’t feel I’m worth […]

I’m trying to fix myself..

I’m trying to fix the mistake..

the mistake I feel and know I am..

I’m getting tired of trying…

i don’t want to disappoint anyone anymore..

Maybe…I’ll stop it soon…

And give everyone, what they need…

Me gone.

I’m sorry, I screw things up a lot…

I’m trying to get it right but…

Somehow I always mess something up.

I’m not the right weight…and I’m trying to fix myself..

And I always mess things up…

I don’t have the right personality..and I’m trying to fix that….

I feel like a screw up all the time..

I say the wrong things and ruin the fun…

I wish I didn’t always screw things up…

I’m getting so tired of trying…

I wish I could end it all..

I sat in the shower tonight, another night of crushed expectations. I can’t resort to cutting myself over this. He’ll see them and then we’ll be back at square one. It’s nighttime and it’s getting worse each day. At night it seems to hit the hardest. Little things are triggering the moodswings and I’m beginning to lose control one day at a time. Other days are better, and I tell myself things are getting better, but in moments like these I convince myself I’m living in a lie. Am I really happy? I have happy moments, but can I live and love without you?
If […]

I am a 17 year old male and for as long as I can remember have been good at everything. I am also pretty good looking but I have been struggling with suicidal thoughts and not for the usual reasons either. I honestly feel there is no point in life. To get old and die one day don’t sound to good to me. Not because I’m afraid of getting old because I see no point in working to take care of myself when ill just die anyway.  I consider my self  strange because I don’t wanna die and say the world is better with out […]

Sometimes I wonder what it would feel like to not exist. Yes, of course I catch myself in the logic of it but haven’t you ever had a fantasy. Sometimes the soreness of my body annoys me just to the point of wishing I didn’t have it. but just being disembodied would be annoying too, just observing never able to interact. That’s when i wish i’d never been born, never been created, never been given a thought in the mind of God. Sometimes I just sit there, not even zoned out, just not even aware of the waking world to which I am pressed into […]

I decided to leave my apartment today and go downtown. Horrible idea, I just about had a breakdown on the metro. I saw a teenage girl and her mom and sister and it made me break inside a little bit, because more than anything that’s what I want. More than anything I’d want to be able to get hot chocolate with my mom and idly look around at clothes and laugh together. Honestly that’s what I want more than anything.

Too bad that’s impossible since she decided to kill herself before I had even turned five.

I feel like a heap of ugly trash that no one […]

“Just smile and be happy”

Thanks for the helpful advice. My bipolarity and depression are gone now.

i need to get over with the emptiness somehow….

I had a violent car accident this night. The car was up on his side, i got out through the window – i think, i don’t actually know. I got out. It was my fault, ambulance came, and shit. After all the voices, the mess, the silence, the discussion, one thought only is in me, i want to share it with you.

After death there’s only what there was before it, but without you’re eyes watching.

A picture does not always have a meaning that goes beyond the simple watching; the same should be for life.

The meaning of life is therefore to keep watching, so to oppose to […]

Things are getting really worse, each day, each night.

I hope things will end soon but instead of acting I am just whining…

Every time I get to meet someone I get dumped, rejected, ignored, forgotten.

These days I feel worse and worse and I am so tired I could sleep all days long and drown in my tears…

I know my words are like thousands of others here and I don’t deserve more attention than someone else, so I will just stop there.

I hope I  could end this soon…

I will write to you this faithful poem, hope and peace are many things so far.

Loving, caring, praying, are the thing joyful in many ways. I see your face telling me these things, so I’ll try to do my best.

When I walk into this room, you are the one who I see, whom seems to smile, even with all the troubles running wild.

Hark the sound of angels singing, hark the sound of God! For he is always there for you and me so shall we sing, so peacefully.

I walked towards you too, seeing your face reminds me of so many thing, the hope you gave […]

I’ve recently realized that I can’t trust anyone to save me, not that I was expecting anyone to but things are more clear for me. The second you rely on someone is the moment you give them the opportunity to hurt and disappoint you. This is the fucked up world we live in, but I refuse to be a part of this messed up society..a lone wolf that’s what I am.
It’s funny because when I decide to join this facade that society continually builds I am judged and once I become a lone wolf I am still judged. FUCK THEM! I can’t force you […]