and with the clash that was order and the last true son of hope did humanity’s time come to an end, but that was not the only thing the clash caused for it was so powerful it sent a lance of energy out, far beyond their universe, out and out the light traveled, past every parallel universe until it reached a screen of sorts, and it bounced into the screen with such force the entity on the other side awoke fro its day time nap to see what the noise was in its screen, and so did this entity gaze upon the screen and follow […]

Anybody from Maine?

On occasion, I self-harm. Sometimes I know why, sometimes I don’t.

Sometimes I feel like the worst part of harming isn’t the scars, or the guilt over doing something ‘wrong’.
It’s when I don’t cut deep enough. It’s when I don’t think I’ve seen enough blood.
How strange it is to feel like a failure at failing yourself.

It has been brought to my attention that the mere mention of positivity on SP brings harsh and swift opposition. I notice that sometimes and I want to share my thoughts…

I think positivity needs to be applied in moderation. A little bit at a time…. Too much and it kills the effect because it makes it seem unrealistic and kind of condescending….For example….Instead of bombarding people with numerous reasons about how good life is how special it is etc….you could simply say something like “it isn’t all bad” and leave it at that….but if you go onto specifically name all or many reasons why life […]

Things are actually starting to look up for me.  This site is already serving me well as a good form of catharsis for my general psyche.  Everyone on here has been great so far.

The morning has started off good yet I have a mild pigeon infestation that is starting to move between the roof and walls of my house.  I walked out the back door and got bombarded by a flock and pigeons.

Why are You here? Not in this world, not in this situation, but this site. Why?

I’m here because I look for a little bit hope. I need someone to say it’s going to be alright. I know it will be. Maybe not today, but it will. I only post here when I’m suicidal, but look, I don’t post here often. You probably don’t go to this site everyday too. I’ve known this site for about a year and I haven’t posted much. I know suicidal days somehow find me but I’m not affraid anymore. I know it will pass. And when it does I start […]

does anyone live in michigan?

Dear Sadness,

You win. He left me. He didn‘t even say goodbye. I can feel the winter inside me. I don‘t want to wake up in this nightmare anymore. He left me. He left me. He left me.

It‘s hard to believe, it‘s hard to see, it‘s hard.. But he did. Deep inside I know it but I can‘t force myself into believing it. I deny the true because it‘s too cold to carry it with me. I wish I could just close my eyes and disapear.

Oh, Sadness, I don’t mind You. My agony is bearable.  Don’t leave if You need to stay. I don‘t deserve to see […]

I woke to another day of disapproval, I looked over my body and examined myself . I touched my face , my stomach , my thighs , just my skin . The bumpy surface on my thighs made me feel imperfect. Myself mutilation I admit I’m at fault but it makes me feel good to see that I can remove what I feel isn’t wanted , down fault of things I can not wear dresses or skirts to feel beautiful .
People I mistook for friends , took advantage of me . I won’t say his name but I’ll call him Cam; he got alone […]

What’s the point of living if we all end up dead in the end?

Every time she talks to me it ends in the sad reality. I am afraid of starting the interaction. Vulnerability. She is interested in another guy. And that guy is interested in her. I think. What sucks is that she tries to care for me. She really does care for me but how can you fucking care for me while you are fucking happy your emotional hole is covered by this holy guy? It’s so fucking easy to have pity for me and give me your fucking crumbs. It’s so fucking easy. Simple.

It’s sickening. I can not escape this present world. I take another breath […]

Why am I here? Is probably the question I’ve asked myself everday since I was nine years old I hated myself the way I looked and I thought that my parents hated me. I still think they do. My mom just yells at me so much and I can’t help but yell back. My therapist says all of this has led to depression and anxiety and I should try to build a relationship with my mother but I can’t help sleeping until 11 pm googling ways to kill my myself because if I ever decide to do it I want to do it right.

When I was 6 I was sexually abused my uncle! And I stayed quiet about it for 8 years
When I was 10 I had kidney failure and I almost died
Now I’m 16 and I have everything under control

Last year in August 28, 2012 I lost my only brother. He was 26 years old. My cousin shot him!
I was a freshmen in high school when this happen, I use to be a straight A student, had all honors classes, never caused anything, and I used to make my parents so happy and proud of me.
when he was in the hospital I started skipping […]

Imagine that tonight as you slept a wicked spirit came by and put a curse on you.  When you wake in the morning, you will have down syndrome.  In fact, you will spend the rest of your life, the next forty years, with down syndrome.  Would you kill yourself?

That’s how I feel every day.  I was cursed in the womb, not down syndrome but something pretty close (I use the condition down syndrome here because its something people are familiar with).  My options are to live with “down syndrome” or to kill myself.  And believe me, I’d rather be dead.

I know it’s not politically correct […]

Sometimes I think about when I was in Kindergarten.  Little did I know what a long, listless journey I was about to embark on.

I have a few things that make me feel ok; cutting, drugs, risky behaviour. The thing i want help with is my cravings for sexual attention … since i was about 7 i wanted sexual attention particularly with older men its escalated now to where even with a loving boyfriend i constantly want to sleep around. I get that whole feeling from being wanted but im too sad and ‘crazy’ for anyone but my boyfriend. I associate a lot of unhealthy things with sex and pleasure such as violence and submission i often ask my bf to hit and abuse me during sex or […]

Every damn day I go through this cycle.  I always wake up feeling like a piece of shit, then I progress to the afternoon and feel a couple hours of new hope, elation, and motivation, then comes the nighttime and I feel like a piece of shit again.

Suicide is not a plausible option.  I would rather see this through to the very end.  Everyone risks death waking up and walking around every day.

Dose anyone have concrete information regarding chloroform and its use in suicide???

from what I know it dose not take long and is not that hard to obtain…So what is the catch??? why aren’t there more report of chloroform suicides reported??? it sound simple..the only negative I have read about this is possible skin irritations…dose anyone know more about this or why its not a popular way of suicide???

I was/still am but am tapering off benzodiazepines that were prescribed to me about ten years ago for anxiety. Withdrawal has been pure hell and I beg anyone who has been administered these drugs to refuse taking them or get off of them but keep in mind you must slowly wing off…that being said, these drugs changed me as a person…I now deal with debilitating anxiety…far worse than when I started these drugs, brain zaps which cause me to twitch my head throughout the day, mental fog-I feel like a zombie, depersonalizaction/derealization, extreme physical pain…the list is endless…this is too much for me to bear […]