My whole life I’ve been abused , both mentally and physically. My mother’s kids beat me, they broke my arm and leg at the sametime which caused me to be in a body cast at just 2 years of age. All my life I’ve been bullied, both school and home. My parents talk about me about my weight. I’m a chubby girl, well I’m fat. I hate it they crushed my self-esteem. I have no friends. I just took about 20 pills I just want to die I’m alone no one is there for me.

I’m so tired, it feels like I can fall apart every moment. I just.. ugh. But the weird thing is: I don’t want to commit suicide. Death is one of my biggest fears. I just want to be happy. I just started high school and I was like: I’m really gonna miss my old class, but I’m sure I’m gonna make new friends. My best friend came in the same class as me (let’s call her A), so I was really happy I wasn’t ‘alone’ because I’ve always been a shy girl. She made friends, I didn’t. I was happy for her, I can’t blame […]

I want to say that nearly half the males in my family have contemplated suicide at some point in their life.  For some reason, men are taking their lives at nearly five times the rate of women.  I have had friends and family disappear, overdose or lose their life.  I thank God for one who still lives…he became a best friend and between him and some damn good women in my life ,they lead me through the most depressing time of my life.  I’m not exempt from the statistics of contemplation.  But when I came out if it, I found my life back on track. […]

I just want to run away to a different country and start a new life. I’m sick of living with my ignorant parents that are never supportive of me or my decisions. And I am really serious about running away to a different country. You think it’s possible for me to do it?

I can not shake the feel of my self-abasement  .  If it were easy to evoke something so beautiful I would . An ode that I say would be “to little of time” . I want nothing more but to cast away these intensified emotions  but I can’t . I crave the lust from others but I don’t act upon my feelings because to little of time , I want nothing more but have the contact from another individual

. What makes me any different ? We all crave some type of connection from another person, mine just happens to be lust . A little shamed […]

I’m not too sure how old I was when it started. Maybe 8? Around that age I think.
He would call it ‘massage’, made it seem like a game. He made it seem normal,
I didn’t feel like I was doing anything wrong. He made me do things to him.
He would ask me if I wanted to play in his room with him. Mum thought he was being a good brother who was loving of me.
He liked to kiss my body. I didn’t like it, I found it boring, I remember always asking if we could play on his Super Nintendo. He said […]

I’m sick and tired of caring about anyone. I don’t care if I die, I don’t care if I kill myself. I’m sick and tired, no one likes me my boyfriend is a dick! The only person I care about is my little sister, but that’s all. I’m sure she’d be fine with out me anyway I’m a *****. I’m so lost…I just don’t know anymore

I’m so tired of feeling things, I can’t take it anymore.

Everything I feel is 10 times stronger than it should be.

I hate it, my bipolarity is taking over my life, my feelings and my thoughts are taking over my life.

I can’t even be at peace by being by myself, because my brain is so unbelievably scatterd. Every moment is a battle with myself, and I’m so tired of it.

I’ve tried drinking, cutting, smoking, everything in hopes that something would distract me from myself.

I wish they’d give me medication so strong that it just completely numbs me.

Over 2 years had gone by… And tomorrow I’ll have to start over from day 1. Yeah. I cut myself again..

these days all i look forward too is just another drink.

every weekend i wait and hope–to fill my cup and sink

into a pool of endless drift. for that bitter sweet taste of alcohol

to blur my woes away. to leave me numb, no matter how far i fall;

whether broken bones or broken feelings, i rarely give a damn.

as long as i have a cup it’ll erase all i call “i am”.

give me vodka, give me whiskey–even cheap wine will do!

as long as it’s not beer– i hate the smell, the taste too.

i wish there was an ocean–an island for me to strand

myself with no one else–maybe […]

You think your days are uneventful,
And no one ever thinks about you;
She goes her own way.
You think your days are ordinary,
And no one ever thinks about you;
But we’re all the same,
And she can hardly breathe without you.

The days turn into nights, empty hearts and empty places. The day i lost him, I slowly lost myself too. When he died, he took a part of myself. No time for goodbyes. No explanations, no fucking reasons why. If only sorrow could build a staircase, my tears could show the way. I would climb my way to heaven, and bring him home again. I would do anything to bring him back to me. I would do anything to end what i’m going through. I would do anything to bring him back. Because if i got him back, I would get back the friend that I once knew.

I want to say that nearly half the males in my family have contemplated suicide at some point in their life.  For some reason, men are taking their lives at nearly five times the rate of women.  I have had friends and family disappear, overdose or lose their life.  I thank God for one who still lives…he became a best friend and between him and some damn good women in my life ,they lead me through the most depressing time of my life.  I’m not exempt from the statistics of contemplation.  But when I came out if it, I found my life back on track. […]

I’m in a place where if I didn’t live to see another day……..I wouldn’t really care.

Anyone ever had something terrible done to them? I did. Police, doctors counsellors. Everyone was concerned. I wasn’t. Was I suppose to? I was upset sure, but everyone assumed I was suicidal, depressed, I was crazy, I needed help. Putting words in my mouth. Sure I was depressed I still am and was way before this, and sure I’m suicidal but I’ve been for a long time. This changed nothing. Or I though it didn’t. It was funny the first few months I acted like nothing happened. Everyone was concerned, and I was neutral to the whole thing. It never hit me. But as months […]

So my name is Seth. I was honestly debating whether or not to join this project. Welpp, im here. Nothing really important about me. Its just sad how I grew up & the first thing I learned about life is how much it actually f*cking sucks.

held life in your hands, and felt it drift away?

Have you ever

watched a being struggle to stay in this world, and yet witnessed their spirit disperse into the aether?

Have you ever

touched something so gently, for fear of harming, only wishing to let them understand they were loved?

Have you ever

been so moved by a beings will to live, and ultimate loss of will, that you cried so serenely you didn’t even feel it at first?

I have.

Many a time.

And I feel as though, each time, when their spirit disperses,

a part of mine does too.

And I’m left

broken

empty

incomplete

About a week ago, I posted a thread that I was going to jump off a building, I tried to, but I somehow missed the point where I could fall into the ground, and instead I hit a lower roof, shattered my legs, and now I’m in a hospital where I could be sent to involuntary treatment even as an adult

Now my parents are going to go back and listen to these goons that talk to you and try to “understand” you while they get a pay raise for giving you some bullshit meds, and still my parents don’t understand none of this is helping […]

Disclaimer: This is an article that I found on another website wandering around the internet.  I did not write any of the words but I found this to be very interesting….so I thought I’d share it here. 

I have been unlucky enough to be the guest of two different psychiatric hospitals. In addition, I have worked in nine psychiatric hospitals in a professional capacity. Most people, even professional psychiatrists, have a rather naive view of what happens in a mental hospital. Private psychiatrists who spend most of their time treating private patients for depression and anxiety may have very little experience with a real […]

I talked to my dad about the whole online education thing and he was completely against it. He thinks it’s the wrong way to educate yourself and that I should continue attending normal school…I’m so fucking depressed, I don’t know what to do. I don’t want to go to school, that’s the problem. I can’t cope with it any longer and my parents can’t seem to understand that, they think I’m just being “stubborn” about it all…but my condition towards this is very serious. He said that if I continue to go against his wishes, he will stop the internet for good, won’t speak to […]