Wanted to die for several years but hung on out of habit.  Not going to wander off into the woods and die quietly to the sounds of birds tweeting and twigs cracking.  Going to get a large glass bowl and fill it with muriatic acid and then I am going to put my head in it.  I’d like to do this somewhere in public in Washington DC and on camera.  I tried and tried and tried to get with the program and fit my head up my ass but it wouldn’t go … so muriatic bath it is.   I just can’t decide who is […]

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Imagine…Imagine your brand new baby will be welcomed to the world today. Imagine the happiness you will feel, the pride you’ll feel when you see his or her beautiful face. Imagine the love, like you’ve never felt before and you feel that you couldn’t love anything more in the world no matter what. Now imagine you’re five years down the road. Your baby is walking and talking and playing in the other room. Starting kindergarten, in his or her own world. Imagine the bittersweet feeling on that first day of school. Imagine the love, like you’ve never felt before and you feel that […]

Maybe not today, and maybe not tomorrow, but I promise you within the next few months, I will be dead.

I’m going to kill myself, and nobody can stop me. I’m sorry…

There’s nobody here to help me,

Everybody tells me to go die anyway.

I need to die.

I’m going to die.

I guess I just wanted to say this because in a sense, I’m searching for help, for other ways out, but I feel its too late; my mind can’t be changed.

I’m scared, and I’m alone, but that doesn’t matter anymore because I’ll be dead pretty soon.

Ive been drinking most of my life, since about 15 and I’m approaching 40. I had a horrible childhood. Drinking was my escape from reality. Recently, I stopped drinking and along they way….my suicidal thoughts went out the window. My life was great over the summer. I was swimming, roller skating and lounging in the sun all summer. However, now that Autumn has arrived, my horrible inside depression has crept back and I’m drinking again. I want to kill myself, just for the drinking alone. With drinking comes panic attacks that sting like a dagger.  I know that I have been self medicating myself with […]

i think ive gone numb. i don’t feel anything.

Why do you blame yourself ,
for the things that have gone wrong?
why do you hurt yourself?
you are way more strong.

There is a lot of pain in you,
You need to let it go.
You holding back tears in your eyes,
you need to let them flow.

You hiding the pain behind your smile,
somehow it still shows.
you have a sorta pretty laugh,
you should laugh a little more.

Not me… my mother, becouse my bro killed himself. Like his suicide was not hard enough to take. I have to deal with her all this time. Thanks bro, for kiiling yourself and fucking up my life. Nice one”

From what I’ve seen so far, it seems like most people here are 18+, which is sort of surprising.

How old is everyone here?

Many lands saw Zarathustra, and many peoples. No greater power did Zarathustra find on earth than good and bad.

I found a gem last night, a key…a key of all keys – a masterkey. idk why but i always find new things whenever i have a fight with my parents. my mom got real angry last night over my sitting in front of laptop all day. she first cried and then took away laptop and hid it somewhere. so i was finally left alone with nothing to do but reflect. started thinking over things she said. one of the things was: what will you do in future. i […]

But at the moment I’m all alone, and that, that is really not good at all. My thoughts take over, they totally engulf me. I’m a prisoner to my own mind. I can’t get out. The things I do, they’re like addictions. I need to, I can’t stop. I’m carrying this darkness around. Trying to keep it hidden under the surface. But one day it’ll break and that’ll be the day I come undone, I’ll really need to go then.

I made the wise decision to spend the night at my girlfriend’s tonight because I know if I don’t I’ll do something stupid. That’s the one thing that’s stopping me from giving up, my girlfriend. I can’t leave her, I can’t bear to see her hurting. She’s my lifeline.

I suddenly went back to square…. -100. My throat is pulsating of pain and everytime I swallow it feels like acid running down to my stomach. My breath is heavy and I’m aware of every heartbeat.

A few moths ago I visited a psychic in the US (I’m from Europe) and she said that I am cursed and I’m never going to get well from my depression. I cried the rest of the trip. Some weeks ago I visited Greece. A random older lady came and took my hand and started coughing. She told my bf I have the devil inside of me. This I […]

why do people make such a big deal of self-harmers if they dont want to cut then so be it but others want to because the emotional pain gets too much for them. What is so wrong with being a a cutter some dont want to be a self harmer but it is so hard to stop the pain relif . so tell me something if they want to cut or kill themselves what is so wrong with just allowing them to do it.

why do poeple drag us down? why is it that when we are friends with people and the thrid one is always bitchy? dont get me wrong i love her but the thing is it isnt a friendship if its full of arguing but the thing is pretending to self harm just to fit in isnt the thing to do thats just gonna make the real cutters in the friendship group cut even more! i dont complain because realloy i couldnt give two f***s because they need to know what to do before i rant at them, i feel so down when i cut i […]

It’s nighttime here and I’m seriously depressed. I’m trying to not let myself get too bad, but I’m all alone and that’s when things so so bad for me. I have no one to talk to and I find myself just staring at the tv blankly just thinking of things I shouldn’t be. I feel a panic attack that is right under the skin, ready to come out. I am trying reeeally hard to fight it, but I have nothing to get my thoughts elsewhere. Idk, maybe I am jus crazy…That’s the way I feel anyway. I hate always feeling like this. I wish it […]

I actually really want someone to punch me. Like when I’m feeling really frustrated and angry I just wish someone would hurt me. I want to feel the solid strike of justice hitting my body, the pain rippling through my body. Punishment for my sins.

I’ve heard it all, ” It’s bad, your going to get hurt, what a stupid thing to do”. So what? Of course I’m going to get hurt, so what if it’s “bad”, and yes, I know it’s a stupid thing to do! I don’t care about the risks. When I’m done, I feel emptied of the pain and the clouds of anger. It feels like a painful kind of beautiful, almost indescribable… So I throw common sense out the window and grasp onto the small piece of artificial happiness.

I pushed another person away today. I push every fucking person away. I feel like people would be better without me in their lives. I cause nothing but pain and all I want to do is hurt myself. I can’t control my emotions, especially my anger and I just snap all the time. It scares my girlfriend and I wish I could make her life better. The only way I feel I can do that is by ending my life. I don’t want to die but it is what’s best for everyone else. I feel like over-dosing today. I want to but I’m scared. I […]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YjzIlfcsifI

Things are funny sometimes. Its funny how someone can care (or pretend to care) for someone and then just disappear.  The man that saved my life vanished when I needed him, but he made that choice. He chose to leave me alone in the darkness, when all I need was a helping hand. He left me there to die and I almost did. I’m trying so hard to stay alive, hell keeping myself from grabbing the blade is a chore sometime. All I want to do is rip into my thigh a couple good times. I graduate from college in 6 weeks, but that’s nothing. […]