 Theres this girl. This blond haired, tainted blue eyed girl. This caring and understanding girl that nobody understood themselves. Her name was Britney. Now Britney has been through to much for a 13 year old. At the age of 2 her father commited suicide. One side of her family blamed her for it. They called her a fuck up and how she was worthless and how if she was never born her father would still be alive. She looked so depressed all the time. But she looked so beautiful when she cried. Her hair […]
I once had a dream that I died.
In this dream, I was laying on railroad tracks, broken, bleeding, and all I could think was I need to die. For some reason it made sense to die now so they could fix me up in hospital and stop the pain, but I would somehow be bought back to life- I don’t know how, but I would.
I remember looking around me, looking down the tracks, and seeing so many broken bodies just like mine, and there were two people moving up the tracks, slitting people’s throats as they went- an act of mercy.
They came […]
Hey… Umm…. I’m not used to sharing things with others… But i dunno you…. And sense you’re on this site, just like me, i don’t think you’ll judge….. right?? I guess i’ll get on with it eh? So… I have this friend that is really REALLY sensitive and responds terrible to people being disapointed in her. She doesn’t have many friends. Neither do i yet i have more than her (No intention to brag. I only have 4 friends) She has 2. Me and this boy named Justin. My friend Britney Didn’t know but Justin had the biggest crush on her. HUGE!! like Fuck  It […]
Things aren’t just going right. I’m bored with life. Sadness just overweighs my happiness. Thinking of suicide later, is it really painful?
By those “things”, I meant everything.
hey there , i dont know u bt am trusting u with my problems ….so here it is..i recently got dumped by my bf of 3yrs he says it was just suppose to be us taken time away because i started university and he wants to give me space to study, bt i intereprted it wrong well what ever i heard the words lets break up ….after this i still contiued to speak with him, cause i dont hold anything against him, then we got in a fight and he treathened to dirty my character with a photo, which most of u mite find […]
How do you put down the knife? How do you put it down and walk away?
I feel so alone and so defeated. Sometimes I have the urge to tell someone I’m dying, my mind is killing me, but honestly what good will that do? No one can save me, it will only make them worry. So I smile and I laugh, I carry on with life as if I’m perfectly fine and they all believe me. I tell myself that if I do die, at least they will remember me happy, they will never know that I suffered for so long.
So the guy I like took me out for coffee today, and apparently he’s the touchy feely kind of guy. Always randomly hugging me, kissing my cheek. It’s too much. Too much to fight through. I’m trying to forget my ex, trying to still get over how much I screwed up. All the uncertainty is making me cut even more, and now deeper. I’m just so confused
You’re tearing me apart,
When I can’t stop thinking and lock myself in my mind.
You’re tearing me apart,
When You’re always on my head and You’re forcing me to stop thinking of myself.
You’re tearing me apart,
When you want me to stop living, and concentrate on your feelings.
You’re tearing me apart,
Cause while time passes, flowers are dying and so am I.
You’re tearing me apart,
When You’re giving me reasons to not fight and give up on myself.
You’re tearing me apart,
All I can feel is the pain that you left and is keeping me by your side.
Without being there with you, but in your […]
I want to die. I have everything. I have a father, a mother, and a brother. My father supports me and he gives me everything I need. And all that makes me feel even more miserable. I have more than some people can’t even dream of having. Some didn’t even have parents, ever. My father was right, I am indeed a piece of shit. This is getting worse and I just can’t take this pain. There is something missing in my life and I don’t understand how God gives so much to some and so little to others. My friend, who has a boyfriend, cheats […]
I’m here again. Thinking about suicide over and over again. I want it to end. everything. its not fair. Why me. I hate the pain. I wanna get help but at the same time i dont.
I’ve been taking medication for my depression since February and things got better for a while. a lot better. I was doing stuff that was previously fucking impossible, like talking to strangers and working and going out to concerts.
but just like I feared, I started to relapse in the last couple of weeks, and now I wish I was dead.
I recently got a job at a daycare; it pays better and has better hours than my last job but I fucking hate it. my co-workers constantly talk down to me and are rude to me. maybe I really am stupid and that’s why people constantly […]
As I take one last look in the mirror what I see is something you cant even imagine it to be. There in the mirror was a little dark shadow just staring at me. Its eyes dark as the night and it skin cold as the winter weather. As it started to get closer and closet I could see it more and more cleaner. And when it couldn’t get any closet what I see I don’t want to believe there leaning right next to me was the monster that I had right inside of me. Its words and lies sharps as knifes able […]
Nightmares, day disturbances, relentless voices urging me to reboot and end it, anxiety and soul crunching depression. Sure folks here have felt this. Am too “well” to be in the hospital but too sick to be out. Can people to relate  to this place in time?  is there a general view, positive or negative about inpatient treatment?
So in my diverse and disparate search for a less traumatic but yet certifiable death … I have waded, excuse the pun, into the waters of drowning. In an isolated lake or river, simply walking into my death with a backpack heavy with rocks and other hard objects that will keep me from coming up. Literally just walking into the water abyss, diving deep (no trauma from bridge jumping) and letting the weights sink me to the bottom where I will be unconscious in minutes. Have others contemplated drowning and what if any methods or materials have you considered in the process? […]
Hi guys…I mean,bye guys…
Well,I don’t even know how I got here.
As I told told you,I’m decided about commiting suicide.
All my suicide attempts have failed so far.My last one failed badly,unlike Juliet,I wasn’t strong enough to push the knife towards my heart,I am a fucking coward.Just hope it works this time.
I have never felt so free before,no more evil,no more bad people to hurt me,no more sadness,no more commitments,no more worries,no more suffering.
I’m not afraid,just curious : what comes after?.I hope something really good to happen,because I’m so tired and I deserve some rest…
“Whenever there is a meeting, a parting […]
This morning…was a bit rough. My grandma was angry with me because I wouldn’t speak up… When I went up to my room, I took out a broken pen cap or something(I had found it in school… it was sharp…) and I scratched at my wrists. Far harder than I thought I was, actually. It wasn’t red at first, but eventually it got to a very bright red. I didn’t bleed or anything but it stung throughout school. My girlfriend noticed me flinching whenever she grabbed my wrist(which is actually a shockingly large amount) and she pulled up my sleeve. She just told me to […]
Ok I’m back with a new attitude towards making this life work for me.
It seems the unofficial topic of SP today is “money troubles”..but I guess since the holidays are closing in fast, that means more attention on our pockets!
Anyways, I’m recharged with a new outlook on how I need to go about making more money. I dont have time to go over all this shit that’s been happening, so ill just try to explain whats happening now.
My parents helped me out with some money, as always. But I never ask for it, they just always assume I’m not doing well. They also […]
alright well making decisions has  never been my strong suit. my sister wants to visit me this weekend, and i already told her it was fine… but now i’m feeling shitty and want some time to myself and it’s just never good when we’re together and i’m depressed because she refuses to understand. also it just makes me feel worse. should i a) hope for the best and let her come, perhaps raising my mood by doing so or b) tell her i’m too busy and i’ll see her some other time soon?