I constantly cry all of the time, me and my boyfriend are slowly growing apart I love him so much he is everything I am living for I have nothing else I have no family or friends I just want to run away and die in a ditch somewhere .. Anywhere .. I don’t care everyone is better without me I am use to anyone I’m a fuck up I just don’t care what happens to me anymore why can’t there just be one person in this world that will listen to how I feel and not laugh at me or call me names

I can’t believe I’m still here. The first time, I was stupid. I took the right stuff, and I should have died, but I wanted to hear his voice one last time, so I called him, and he called the police. Stupid me.

The second time – I meant it. I took so much stuff – 90 days of clonidine .2, 30 days of inderol, 30 days of ativan, about 45 days of atenolol, and an entire extra-sized bottle of benadryl. I woke the next morning on my own. Not that I got off without damage – I kept […]

tonight i will die,  all is set, pills kicking in now just need to take  an other 20 or so,,,,, exitbags at the ready the i am off for the long sleep

ive been able to hide it pretty well.

tonight though the blotters were just too enticing.

captain morgan was just begging for some lip service.

i didnt smoke. Save Mary! ive got the will power not to!

i hadnt cut myself since i was in high school.

i tried using a dull multi-tool.

useless.

the razors gleamed in my mind; where were they?

theyre a little rusty–then again so am i.

my left arm and shoulder are all puffy from the crappy multi-“tool”.

the razors skim across my skin like an ice skater.

i can see my skin finally breathing as i cut across my chest.

it just needed fresh air–oxidation–which the razors provided perfectly.

i couldnt feel […]

i just want it to all go away. everything. all the hurt. all the anger. all the worries. all the depression. all the harmful thoughts. all the hatred. all the repressed feelings. all the tears. all the anxiety. everything. to just disappear from my life. im so sick of it. im sick and tired of it. and the worst part is, nothing is helping. talking about it doesn’t help. going to my counselor doesn’t help. taking anti-depressant medication doesn’t help. praying doesn’t help. sleeping it off doesn’t help. harming myself doesn’t help. starving myself doesn’t help. crying doesn’t help. nothing. i just wish it would all go […]

My mother and father are disappointed. I am definitely more of a disgrace to them now then I was before. I might not be graduating with my class or going to my senior prom. I’ve come to realize I don’t really care. I have all this pressure on me to go to prom, graduate, do what everyone tells you to do. But please tell me when I get to do what I want; what I think is best for me?! I sit in my room and cry and cry blaming myself for what’s going on. I’ve been this way ever since I’ve entered high school. […]

Earlier this week, I said that I was going to be planning my suicide for July, however, I have decided to postpone it until I can do it… “naturally”… So until I can find or buy what I need, I’ll just have to live.

Like the title says, this is just a rant about my trials and tribulations. I don’t really know if posting my story will be of any use to anyone but I just couldn’t leave this world without anyone knowing about it. I guess someone should know, even if they don’t really know me. But in all honesty I don’t know if anybody really knows the real me. I wear a mask and pretend to be “normal”. So nobody really knows. They’ll probably never find out either because this page doesn’t link to me in any way. But I figured somebody should know my story and […]

“…When everything’s made to be broken, I just want you to know who I am.”

I don’t know what it is about me, but I can have a wonderfully fun day with really wonderful friends and still feel so empty inside. I come back, and I still feel like shit, like I’m nothing. I don’t understand why I can’t just stay happy and excited. I just fall into a pit for no reason. Like, I just feel so worthless. Part of it, I think, is that I spend all this time with these great people, but they have no idea that I struggle with so much on […]

I feel hopeless and lost tonight I don’t want to be here anymore. I have no hope for me hope is pointless because I start on some journey thinking I’m going to be happy but I always seem to find my way to a dead end and I’m tired of feeling disappointed there’s nothing to look forward to I don’t want to be here .. I’m a nobody and that’s all I’ll ever be. goodnight

I don’t want to kill myself tonight (step up from the norm) but I don’t want to be here either. Hmm. Moved on form anguished suicidal to impassioned and unafraid of death, if not still a little eager to meet the Reaper.

Hey everybody. I hope you guys are okay and in a safe place. I just wanted to update you all on how my relationship with my new girlfriend is going. She is honestly the perfect person for me. We have so many things in common, that its almost scary. We complement each other really well.

Our only major difference is our religious views, but our love can overcome that. I really believe that she is my soulmate and I think I will be marrying her one day. I guess what I’m trying to say is don’t give up on finding love. I’ve been rejected many, many […]

You’re finally reaching out. It’s like your finally getting a glimpse at how broken I am. You still don’t know about the scars on my wrist or the repulsive urge to kill myself that plagues me nearly every day, but you at least see me better. You see that I’m not sleeping enough, even if you just reprimand me for it instead of asking why I can’t sleep. You even asked me about my OCD today. You told me there is treatment for that. You asked if my patterns/symptoms were getting worse; I almost told the truth, I said they were starting to. You said I […]

When you’re all alone, and there’s nobody to hold you,

you cry, you weep, all by your lonesome.

When there is nobody to care, and you’re swalloed into despair, you give up. Ready to see what’s really up.

Scream and cry, swallow and die.

Sleeping pills that were supposed to take your life.

Wake up with an IV in your arm, people asking questions whether you’re into self harm

Drinking charcoal, in a hospital gown.

They shouldn’t have saved me. What the Hell do I do now?

They put you in a mental hospital when you’re released from the hospital.

Sleep in a bed with lumps, shower in a gray bathroom.

I was there for […]

everything is perfect, we’re in love…but then why do I feel so sad still. nothing bad has happened. just good things…but I still feel so damn sad.

a california pastor’s son killed himself today. my condolences to all affected. now time for a rant. depression will be all over the media for a couple of days. how awful it is that we are suffering. well folks here is why we suffer needlessly. money!!! depression and mental illness isn’t sexy. we need a better lobby, and a good pr firm. Depression!-its not just for breakfast anymore!!  well get crackin’ there kids. please send checks care of……..  this rant has been organically enhanced.

I’ve never really allowed myself to think about suicide. Whenever a friend asked me my opinion on it, I’d say it was extremely selfish for the people around you. You take your pain away and transfer it to everyone you knew. But even as i said those words I always had a seed of doubt, wouldn’t it just be easier to die? I never finish anything. Maybe I don’t wanna finish living my life, I give up too easily, thats true, one of my many faults, but recently, I don’t know when exactly, I acknowledged my pleasure in thinking about suicide, I’ve been trying […]

hello i am suicidal i want end this life the sooner the better i was a mistake i never deserved to have the parents i had please show me the options i have in killing myself thank you

Hi My name is Somer,

I am currently a freshman in college, dealing with depression and anxiety. All I want is to be happy and feel good about myself. I just don’t believe in living anymore. Everyday I wake up feeling fat and ugly, worthless and stupid. My mind keeps telling me that I am not worth it, that I should die. I truly believe that if I was skinny, my life would be better. If I don’t get skinny soon, I will kill myself.

I like how anyone I talk to is suicidal, it’s never anyone else.