First great day of few..
I wanted to die differently, I want to drown, I want to OD, I want to shoot myself, anything but cancer! I’d jump, I’d hang, I’d chug, anything BUT cancer. I’d like to be hit, I’d like to drift off in my slumber eternally, I’d like to be stabbed, anything but CANCER. fuck cancer, fuck cancer, fuck cancer, fuck cancer, fuck it. I’m sitting in a stupid hostpital, in a stupid gown, with stupid food, stupid and overly chipper nurses, oh and don’t forget the cell enlarging body killing menace, CANCER. At first I thought they were joking, just lightening the mood somehow, “I’m sorry […]
Im not going to say what Im going to do but I actually do plan on carrying it out. I honestly hope I am more afraid but I am just biding my time till then. It is not really impulsive as I am planning it out and will probably succeed. *Hint this is widely used in China and Japan. No sob story. Im abnormal and will never be normal. Tried. Tried seeking help. Tried psych medication. Tried therapy. Life sucked from child till now. I won’t grow, change or get any better. Doesn’t matter if I can attain higher socioeconomic status. We humans are social […]
i am ready to die tonight. i just took 31 cipralex pills and have t3s as well as random high prescription strength pills for lord knows what. i have a full bag of 50 high strength advils too, i wonder what else i can find. once i start to feel sick/dizzy/who knows, i am going to tie a plastic bag over my head and fall asleep. i tried just the bag a bit ago and i did not like the feeling. i have some staples ‘anti-static spray’ that says ‘fatal if swallowed’ on the bottle so im thinking about drinking that too. my goodbye notes […]
It’s funny how sometimes the most random thing could make you happy.we were conducting a field exercise when during the middle of our break the sun started to show up. my buddies started singing “here come the sun” by the beatles and it was one of the most calming and serene moment i’ve ever experienced, especially since for the last two days it was raining the whole time. we all basked in the warmth and knew that everything was going to be all right.
Hi again everyone
I’m going to take a break. So I won’t be on this site for a while. I won’t post anything or comment. I don’t know for how long. Maybe 2 days, maybe 2 weeks, maybe 2 months. I just don’t know. I am coming back, I guess, don’t know what’s going to happen in the next days… Love you all guys!! <3 Just need a break, although I find a lot of strength and understoodment at this site.
Please, everybody on this site, keep fighting, stay strong and believe in yourself!! Love you <3!
Officially moved in to my friends house. I’m really enjoying it so far 🙂
I think it’s gonna work out.
However I’m at work right now, and my ex-boyfriend/ coworker is driving me up the wall. I don’t want to talk to the cheating bastard, but he keeps wanting to talk to me. I just wish that’s he’d shut up.
(That’s not me by the way, that’s just the best reflection picture I could find. It just so happens to contain a beautiful woman.)
For a long time I could not look in the mirror, I did not like who I had become, it was easier to hide in games and books rather than face reality. I was not happy but I stayed in my rut, not taking active steps to get better.
But then I read a few words that I have […]
I’m thinking about all of you and I pray that you all will stay safe and be strong during these difficult times. *grouphug*
I’ve always wanted someone to accept me for who I am. But then who would love a girl who cuts herself? Who would love a girl who has so many issues? Wouldn’t everyone prefer someone cheerful, bubbly, happy?
Who would want someone who has serious mental issues?
Times like these I just want to curl up and disappear.
I feel so ashamed.
All the time I have these little flashes of happiness. But every single time I dismiss them because I know they won’t last. And those feelings when you don’t know what to do because you’re not USED to being happy.
Never taken seriously by anyone.
Never cherished by anyone.
Always taken for granted.
But thats okay. haha.
And then,you realise,you are all alone.Friends,family,people around you..No.Its all an illusion.I am alone.Alone here and alone in world.Alone in my heart and alone in my mind.Alone everywhere,all the time,for as long as i can remember.Alone with my family,alone with my friends,alone in room full of people.Alone when i wake up,alone trough each awful day,alone when i finally meet the blackness.Im alone in my horror.Alone in my horror.I dont want to be alone.I have never wanted.I fucking hate it.But it is what it is.
Everybody leaves.Dont lie to yourself.People go.And all of them pretend to care for you.Maybe they do care,but only currently,only because of circumstances.They […]
Everybody keep sayin ”you are so gorgeous” ”you are too pretty to be single”…and OH GOSH-.- Am I? so where is my other half? They say good things come late but NO! I want someone to fall in love with me,hug me,kiss me,GIVE ME LOVE:3
http://www.dailymotion.com/video/k4Swt8PrARNg0y3eLCF(watch at 7:52)
http://www.dailymotion.com/video/k5uCWuDBDzrhu63eLCM
I was watching  show of how a singer overcame her depression, I found it inspiring because she talked of how she tried new things like, reading and drawing and was able to express herself. If you would like to watch it check the links above
My bro managed it. I didn’t – yet! Nicotine patches – do they work?
My boyfriend of almost one year, the only guy I’ve ever loved, told me he couldn’t handle my issues anymore and broke up with me. He says he can’t handle me hurting myself and hating myself. I told him I just could help it…the worst part about this whole thing is I can’t cry…I’m too numb to cry. If he’s tired of me hurting myself then why did he break up with me? I’m just going to do it worse now…
I’m just so tired of feeling this way. No one cares about me and I have np reason to live. I’m tried of waking up […]
i am a fantasist,had so many dreams but for every thing my problem is money because to maintain girl friend and for enjoying my daily life money is need.By not having money i am unable to adjust with my friends and becoming alone in daily life.some times makes me very sad about my position and question a raises in my mind that “for what are u living fucker and what u want to do in your life?” and the answer is nothing
what to do in this shit world don’t know but feeling loneliness in life is more
im dying, i’m anorexic, i’m infected, i’m depressed, I’m a poet, I’m a singer, I’m a songwriter, I’m a girl, I’m thirteen, I have cancer. Fuck cancer. Fuck life. Fuck it all. I had so much to live for, and now…now i’m just a breathing corpse. for the most part dead. Fuck it all.