i’m going to leave, go deep into the woods somewhere and OD (lethally…)
peaceful, easy. i’ve had enough of this life and trying to fit in a world i never will.
Hi guys!
So I’m sure a lot of you on here probably won’t read this (or even bother to) but that’s okay because I just want to share my story with everyone, and hopefully save a few lives 🙂
Growing up, I’ve always had a good life, or at least that’s what I believed. I’ve never had to worry about money or my health, although I am overweight, I don’t feel it’s life threatening or something to be extremely concerned with. Of course when middle school started, everything changed.
Middle school was a rough time for everyone. We’re all at the phase where we’re trying to fit in […]
I um ._. was in a mood ._. and um ._. worried about everyone… I love the people here too much and I’m here for you even though I can be over dramatic and annoying and take over…. You all, way more than I could fit, mean so much to me. And everyone here I haven’t talked to yet, I care about you, too. I’m always here to talk to… < 3
Title says it all. And yes, it’s Trevor that I’m talking about. I left my trumpet in the band room so that I could go and get it after lunch, and I could see him again. I argued with one of his friends about what day it was (He said it was Monday, I said it was Friday, jokingly). And then Trevor picks this guy named Tanner up. He’s second chair trumpet, always saying he can beat me, so when Trevor picked him up, I said “Drop him! Drop him on his head! Pleeaassee?” And Trevor smiled at me, winked, and dropped him. I laughed […]
The following are typical feelings or behaviors and beliefs I have and have lived with daily : (i will keep it relatively condensed and in no particular order);.
I am physically a caucasion(white) 18 year old female i consider myself to be very attractive and i am told that i am. i used to have troubles believing that i am beautiful but now i am starting to see it. i also have realised dispite my struggles specificly acedemically i have come to know i actually am breath takingly intullectual.i have an interest in boys and from a glance i look to be a […]
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QcvjoWOwnn4
This is Charlie Chaplin in his film, the Great Dictator. Chaplin plays a Jewish barber who is mistaken for “The Great Dictator” and ends up giving this speech.
Ok everyone so I know this is really random and I understand this is a site that people try and come together, help eachother, and just to share their stories. I am just looking for answers and I do not even know who will all get to see this or if it will be published… I was wondering if anyone was talking to a guy about would have been 19 around march-june months 2012 possibly before I am not too sure.. he was my brother and he took his life in June. Like I said I know there are like TONS of people but he […]
i know longer feel anything. i do believe i can be that shadow, but this is different whether i pass through or linger no longer matters, nothing affects me. i can be hurt or do the hurting and it would be no different. the thing is i still feel sad though, its like a mosquito always buzzing, more annoying then anything, but its there. i don’t feel angry anymore its like there is no point so im mute face or sad, ha wonderful. people told me it was to late to pass through life because i already touched so many peoples lives, but im easy […]
Currently we are studying the cold war in my history class, I think about how a war was never really fought. I realize that the fight between my heart and my brain is like the cold war except I am the only casualty my body and soul take a beating every day while my mind battles what my heart desperately wants…the sweet relief of death…the adrenaline caused by the blade and the worry that I will soon be caught…
The small criss cross across my wrist
Nobody notices
Nobody cares
The small criss cross across my wrist
I want the the relief
I need the relief
Of the small criss cross across my wrist
I have been depressed since i was 8 years old. Everyone down plays it and acts like im faking it. My friends tell me i do this for attention, but really i would do anything to be happy. To be a normal 15 year old girl. When i was in first grade, i broke a pencil in class and cut my ankle. I continued to do it after that. It showed me i was alive, even though it wasnt a good thing to do. My arms now look like they went through a paper shredder. I never wear short sleeves because of it.  Everyone that […]
I believe it’s my time.. I don’t have much left to live for.
I hope my family can forgive me, for I loved them well.
One day, they’ll understand, I’ve been living in my own hell.
and that’s all there is
It all went off just the way I had anticipated.  And even stranger than that. I could hardly bring myself to say a mere “hello”. In the first fifteen minutes I found myself just standing aloof and staring at the walls while all the noises mingled in my ears. I don’t know why it was so hard and why I felt so much out of place, but it proved what I really was. Redundant. That is not surprising at all. I’m used to being a shadow.
At last when I finally mustered some courage to speak up, even the couple words I said sounded awkward to […]
Week 2 in Sydney with my girlfriend. One week and 7 hours from now I’ll be back behind a computer in my crappy desk job (ok, I’m an engineer, so I guess that is enviable to some people) thinking similar thoughts to what I’m thinking now.
I hate everyone.
This is the profound realisation that crossed my drugged, tense, yet sleep deprived mind at 1 am. While not exactly original, what stuck me is the intensity of these feelings. I hate everyone. I hate everyone with a passion resembling ideological extremism. People are fucking pathetic leeches who don’t give a shit about you and think that not […]
I wish you could understand half of what I feel, and this is best way I can tell you. . . .
Once the breeze comes and snuffs out the candle, there is no hope of relighting it. Candles are meant to burn to their ends, but my candle had no shelter from the storm. The rain has been falling for quite some time, and in the end it will find a way to wash everything away. The storm has been sheltering the sun until a great typhoon lifts me from these feelings inside; and then all at once, I can feel it crush me. If […]
Sunny yesterday my life was filled with rain.
I have given up to the point of no return, I can’t get out of bed, I don’t go to school, I don’t do anything but sit on my lazy ass all day. My dad has decided to not pay for post secondary, he however will pay me back for every semester I pass , that seems fair to me, it makes for a better excuse as to why I don’t want to go, it’ll be because I’m “saving up “. Im so content with mediocrity  it’s pathetic I don’t want to strive for anything better i just […]
I was in a large city on a sunny day. It was warm, but there was a cool breeze. I was walking through the park with someone I loved and saw a flower. It was beautiful and I said, “Wait here.” I went to pick it for her and as I pulled up the flower the ground beneath me shattered like glass. I fell into a pit. The pit was obsidian lined with black diamond. It was round and polished so that I could see the surface in the reflections on the walls. I saw the people I cared about shake their heads and walk […]
I never know the right thing to say,
i never know when not to walk away
i cant ever cope or ever feel,
i want to find out what it means to be real
i could never be good, i cant ever be perfect
i wont ever know what it truly means to be worth it
ive took up space, and wasted to much
im the least valued in your valuable stuff
i was once your great accessory
now im a broken memory
im faded and old,im broken when new
im everything u ever wanted to use.
tossed in the trash, on the way out
the last straw, the last straw that burned down the house
im tired and […]
I hate my brain. I just thought you should know if your brain is telling you that you should kill yourself, you’re not alone. If your brain is trying to  give you images and visions of how great it would feel to tighten that rope around your neck and you know that its wrong, you are not alone. They’re really seductive right? These thoughts are the true “siren’s call”; a call for eternal peace and an escape from pain. I’m lucky though. I have a thought that I’ve trained myself to repeat. It is this, “Today is a test. Tomorrow might be a test too. But it […]