That’s right. To all the fuckers out there who just want me to crash and burn it starts now. Go ahead, laugh. Cheer. Just stand there and watch me burn. You make sure nobody helps put that fire out. You’ll watch and see what it looks like when somebody puts out the fire by himself. It won’t go out all the way. Hell no. I’m gonna be the demon that haunts your sleep. I’m gonna be the demon that hunts you in the day. But you’ll get your wish. Cuz soon that fire will consume me, it will burn me up into ashes. I’ll be […]

My feelings are so jumbled right now, and i can barely get through it… i feel so guilty for going back to school, my mum just said how now we have to do so much extra now that im gone… its so unfair how im only 14 and i did over 350 hours of work over the two month holiday yet i still feel like im a terrible worker and a whiner. Its because my parents always compare me to my brothers. “oh im sad that you’re depressed, but your brother has it worse” “you have nothing to complain about, your brother has it worse” […]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VMGh3Ts5-WQ

I still regret my mistakes, each breathing second I live my heart breaks… They say there’s someone out there for everyone.. what happens when you fuck it up because you were stupid, young, and loved getting high…

I’ll forever be in debt to my sins as a child.. Will never be able to flourish into a man.. I miss her so much I can hardly think.

They say suicide is selfish…. isn’t it equally as selfish to force someone to live a life of pain just to make you happy?

1. For the pain.
2. For the crying.
3. For the memory.
4. For the dying.
5. To make it stop.
6. To feel alive.
7. To watch me bleed.
8. To watch the knife.
9. Cause it helps.
10. Cause I need to.
11. Cause I feel it.
12. Cause It’s all for you.

There really is. I like someone sooo much i wish he was with me all the time. He is sooo funny. I like him for his personality. He signed up for the same subject as i did (i think). He doesnt know me at all. I heard things about him. Like he likes football, he is sooo funny, he has soo much homework, and he runs for track team. I wish i could introduce myself to him but he is always playing kickball at reecess and he is not in the same grade. I am also afriad that if i do introduce myself […]

My life is a big piece of wrongful humor.

I wish I could dig my regrets deep down, break my sorrows, and let go of my sins.

Who’s that uncredited monster that dwells behind the scenes of my life? I will find you and kill you.

There is no such thing as routine. There is regular disorder.

Everything is possible… Until a choice has been made.

It won’t be what can’t be.

Forgive the truth for its cruelty.

Are you frightened? I’ve got a cup of pleasure for you.

Things, which make you cry, should reverse.

They are laughing, again. May they choke on their laugh.

Destroy all, destroy all or nothing.

How do you message someone on the suicide project

So today he tells me
“you’re stupid, not trustworthy, not reliable, you sit on your ass all day, you’re ridiculous, unreasonable, not wife material, and Brittany (who happens to be my mortal enemy) is better than you”

I can’t say I’m going to kill myself over this, but I can say that things are adding up and lately I’m hearing a LOT less good about me than bad and these aren’t the things you want your fiance to say. So breaking up after 5 years is going to be really horrible for me but…I don’t know what to do. I’m clearly not lovable.

I was watching a favorite show of mine when suddenly it wasn’t funny at all anymore. I’m the kind of person that does not laugh much, if at all. This show used to make me crack up, but now it’s only a small smile here and there for me. So one day I was watching the finale of the show, smiling and laughing a little, then it was revealed that one character seemed like he was going to end his life.

Then another character, making fun of him, fakes shooting himself in the head, his mouth making the noise, not […]

I have a boyfriend, who happens to be my first love and real relationship.
I’m 14, almost 15. Don’t tell me I’m too young for love or any other crap like that. So anyways..

We’ve been best friends since July 17th 2011. We’ve talked every day since then. All day, that’s all I would do. Is just talk to him. But we’ve been dating since last June.
He understands me, and the things I go through. We’ve always been there for each other, we’ve had our fights but we usually get through it.  He makes me happy. I’ve been so miserable my whole life until he […]

Mentally…

I’ve never been worse.

I want to die so bad.

I can barely think.

I don’t think I have any connections left.

I don’t feel like typing anymore.

No one cares anyways.

Physically…

I’m exhausted.

I left bed twice today.

I collapsed on the bathroom floor and fell asleep (20ft/6m from my room at most) because I didn’t have enough energy to get back to bed.

I can’t support weight with my left foot, so I’m using crutches.

I haven’t eaten all day. My stomach feels like shit.

My temperature was 102F/38.9C.

My head hurts so bad.

I’m dehydrated.

So… Why not?

I’ll microwave some chlorhexidine gluconate and then dissolve about 30 tablets of efferdent into it and drink.

My proposed Note or “will”

(If you don’t give a fuck [as I suspect you don’t] and just want to get to the will skip the paragraphs and go to the bolded text.)

I killed myself because I can’t make heads or tails of life. My luck is almost always bad, and I am tired of hardship. Like many who have been in this place I have contemplated, and while the one’s full of vigor and self-righteousness say to live is the hardest, that isn’t true. It’s taken me a lot of research and commitment to die. Staying alive was not because I chose to do the […]

Hi there.. I am 11. I know im young . Way to young to be in love and doing everything im about to tell you. But here it goes. And read it all please..

Ok. My sister is getting married. My sisters fiance has a son. His name is Shannan. He is 15. The first time I met him he was really shy, hardly talked to me, and was addicted to xbox. But the boy looked cute. Ok.. Well My sister, Her Fiance, and Shannan all came to live with me and my mom at my house. It was the middle of August and we Shannan […]

ok, i have something on my mind. And I know that other people have it much worse, but I’m just gonna say my story.

My life is not bad. I don’t know where my depression started. But it did. And it won’t go away. I just feel like the biggest misfit. I cut and starve myself. I have to admit, its mainly for attention. It’s not working though. I don’t know whats wrong with me. I can barely think anymore, my thoughts are so mixed up. Everything hurts. I hurt everyone I care about. People think I’m a freak. They have a right to, because I […]

Do you ever wonder whether every human being has only one soulmate? What happens if you meet that person at the wrong time, in the wrong mental state, and you hurt him so irrevocably there is no way you will be forgiven?

My boyfriend, who was the only positive aspect of the last few years of my life, has left me, and there is no chance of him returning. I understand why he is gone. I acknowledge that I am tiresome, and that it is nearly impossible to love someone who loathes herself and lives in a constant state of misery. I acknowledge that I did […]

Hello I have been cuttin myself from the age of 4 I dnt understand why it made me feel good after I cut! I only cut when I’m angry and I actually jus cut myself and ima go deeper and deeper until I die!

People always talk about how they have to ‘put on a fake smile’ and fool everyone, but it’s so hard to do that. I can’t. How can you smile when the crushing weight of depression is burying you? Most of the time I’m lost in my thoughts; they’re drowning me. I’m in my own little world of self-hate and despair. I look out the window and I can see the beauty, but I can’t feel it. The snow is flurrying right now, little trinkets of white raining down on the blanket of glistening snow that already fell. The trees are dead and bare, stripped of […]

if anyone has a story of bpd (borderline personality disorder), please share. survivor, friend, family, still struggling, read someones post on the internet…… your thoughts are much appreciated