People suck. I’m horribly ashamed to be a person, I’d rather be a corpse. At least then I’d serve a purpose. Fertilizer, something for the crows to chew on. Here and now, I only serve as a laughing stock. The butt of the joke, that one crazy person no one wants around. Even my sisters hate me!

One thing to say is, you’re all really lucky I’m still alive tonight. I had the pills IN MY MOUTH but I spit them out in the sink. I felt so numb while I was doing it. I didn’t feel anything, I couldn’t even cry. I’m just raw, worn down […]

What was my donating my time today at the church downtown doing to make me feel like I am blessed beyond belief??? This has totally blown my self pity party out of the water!!! I feel like I have been given a gift and I am not about to give it back to the giver, cuz it feels so unbelievably good! So better than I have been feeling of late any how!!! I only folded socks and passed them out (one to a customer, yet some did get two cuz that is what I DO, LOL and learned a little bit […]

I don’t know where to start…maybe with how I’m feeling.  I feel like I can’t breath, my chest and heart are heavy constantly feeling constricted.  I can’t eat and I can’t sleep.  Why you may ask?……My life, as I know it has fallen apart.  My job has been eliminated and despite resumes sent out, interviews the number of connections I have, nothing has come to fruition.  Then a month ago, my boyfriend and I broke up.  I’ve loved him for over 5yrs and finally we were together.  We had moved in together earlier this year and I was so excited.  But we had a hard […]

Okay, like really people piss me off way too much. For example; Sarah you knew that I cut and yet when I rolled my sleeves up during E period because I thought I was safe enough to do so you flip the fuck out. You start yelling at me to show you and I refused, I mean you think I’m going to just wave my wrist around screaming “hey look at my cuts, aren’t they just fucking wonderful!” No, especially not with Josh and Gene in the room who already tell me to kill myself never mind if they saw my cuts too. Then the […]

how do I get motivated? all I  want to do is sleep. I’m never social and avoid it at all costs.I gave shit that needs to get done, but I feel glued to my bed. this isn’t a life. I wish I could somehow get excited about waking up because the highlight of my day is when I get to go to sleep.

I don’t enjoy my life.  I havent suffered a major tragedy or anything, I just dont enjoy it.  I dont like my body but seem unable to change it.  I’m tired ALL the time.  Completely unmotivated.  A job I cant stand.  Friends who all have their own families and things going on.  Always worrying about bills and how I’ll get by.  And I just dont see it changing.  I mean, I really dont.

This isn’t an emotional decision, it’s a logical one.  I have thought and thought about it.  If I dont enjoy my life and I dont see it getting better, why shouldn’t I just […]

It’s becoming worst as the days painfully past by, remember when I could fake a smile? When I could act happy? When I could be near people I don’t feel comfortable near or I could be in big crowds and deal with it? I can’t even do that anymore. I’ve isolated myself to the point where I won’t talk to anyone unless they talk to me first, to where if I don’t know you all I’ll say is hi. It’s gotten to the point where I can’t even be near people, I’m too emotionally unstable; I’ll either get annoyed and really pissed of at every little thing […]

Somewhere in the cold, I wandered, holding my coat, arms criss-cross my heart. For what? It will never be warm again.
Never will my heart share the wonderful Pain of Love with some Amazing Jerk. No, Prince Charming will never kiss my lips and hold me tight, and I won’t live happily ever after.
What afterlife awaits a soul like mine, unable to be loved and unable to love correctly, but a gruesome one? An afterlife that only I deserve, consumed by darkness, frost, and pain.
Suffer I will, for the life I tried to live but failed miserably at. A game that I am […]

I just want to tell the world that i’m going to end my life in the next few minutes. but i can’t tell the world so this website will do. I am going to do hara-kiri. i will take a sword and plunge it right into my liver so i will die in pain of blood poisoning. If i have the option to come back as a ghost i will. but i highly doubt it . Farewell world, i will not miss you. and neither will you.

i’m feeling so depressed lately. I just need someone who understands what i’m living right now to talk about alternatives. I’m a 23 year old guy and I’m gay. there i said it … my parent refuses to talk to me anymore ever since i told them. my brother and sister both have children so they don’t give a shit about me neither. i think of killing myself everytime i’m alone.  and i don’t have any friend so i’m alone all the time.  i have so much free time that i built a guillotine on my own. it will be quick and painless but i’m […]

Last night 38…
This morning 42…
Now 67…
The is so many cuts.
I’m shaking and dizzy.
I’m lost.
I don’t know what to do.

No intelligent creator would make a world, filled with people, so damn lonely.

Tonight is the night I will say my farewells. Tonight all the pain will be taken away. I will be no more, that’s what y’all wanted. There isn’t anything holding me back. This is it. Everything ends tonight, the pain and misery will all be gone

I’m 53, a mother, grandmother and a wife. And I’ve totally andcompletely botched them all. I used to be strong. Strong enough to have endured my childhood that was full of physical, sexual and verbal abuse. I got married, and for a few years life seemed OK. Then his drinking got worse, and the verbal abuse started, then the emotional affairs he had with women on the internet, and then the physical affair he had with one of the women he met via the internet. I lived through all that, but health has been in a steady decline. […]

I just don’t even know anymore. I just want too feel happy not sad and stressed out all the time. I want my life too turn around so badly I just feel like it never will. I want a way out but I know that giving up is not the answer. I am a strong enough person too do get through this I just don’t know if I’ll last long enough too even see that happen. I can’t keep waiting for it too get better I am sick of thinking I can do this because I am having such a hard time waiting for it […]

so many feelings and thoughts whirring
around in my head i feel like im going to
explode! none of em’ make sense and i cant
figure them out it’s like they’re written in some
foreign code but at the same time i know what
the say “AH!” too much it’s all to much! so much noise whirring aroud i feel like my head
is being slowly sliced into peices and looked
at. i cant make sense i have so many secrets
so many lies but at the same time i cant tell
myself the secrets and i cannot find the
truths!!! AHHH so […]

I have a friend who fluants her scars. She treats them like a good thing. Thinks the make her more popular somehow. Here is some news for you, THOSE SCARS DONT MAKE YOU POPULAR. Great. You cut. So what. The rest of us are cutting for good reasons. So get your head out of tour ass because you have nothing to be sad about.

This weekend was weird. I don’t know why I got so depressed this weekend. I think I’m just treacly tired and need some rest. I may take a sick day tomorrow and just get out of school. I think it’s what I need.

im sorry to have cut myself again.  don’t know what possesed me to do so… But I think we all feel that way sometimes

anyways I am sorry I will NOT do it agaon

I hate you, I really do. Well, most of you. Ok, I don’t hate you, I just think most of you are not helping, not always. I came to this site and since the beginning I’ve been wondering why you comment a lot in some post and you ignore others (which sometimes are desperate screams for help, and no, I’m not talking about me, I’m talking about a lot of people who come here with the hope of being helped and you just try to find something interesting to be amused for a while). Really, why do you like ignoring some of the post and commenting in […]

Four months. Four long months I went without cutting. All down the drain last night. There is about 42 cuts in a 1×2 inch patch on my leg. I guess there is no going back now. But I started a chain reaction in my friends. They started cutting again too. This is all my fault now all I want to do is cut more.