Before you Fade – MissCMF

© Copyrighted December 2012

 

Let the light wash over you, don’t let it take you

The darkness is fine; it’ll be your friend

Out of the rotting corpse in this world

Only the pure ones clean ones have their end

 

You might be scared; its path is whole and true

Keep to the path and nothing will happen to you

 

Listen to the wolf cry, don’t be afraid

Nothing can hurt you if you don’t betray

Let you emotions flow out; let your soul be saved

Let the darkness take your soul, before you fade

 

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Can someone tell me if you can understand this? It’s the way I think, the way I want to speak but I don’t know if the school would understand this…

Darkness and despair let me be, out of the corpses that rot, only the pure are safe, without the addition of imperfections to world, and how can the light succeed the dark when the dark is the beauty and ghostliness of the world.

The darkness is in the light, waiting to strike to save souls but also the light is in the dark waiting to ruin the times of the pure, turning them away from what they […]

I actually took advice… I seeked help

I have wanted to die for the past several years that I can remember. Not as much for the reason of hating life; moreso the desire for all the pain around me to stop.

A sum up.. I grew up with a family who abused drugs and alcohol. Never had a real parental figure that helped me distinguish “right or wrong” or even a good sense of morals.  I have had multiple relationships but all ended badly. I blame myself moreso because my first ever love had committed suicide when we were 16.

With that and a whole lot more that […]

I just watched a movie someon told me about… It`s called The Suicide Room. It isn`t in english but it is a good movie.

I have a project in Health. We have to explain to the class and teacj them about our “Positive Coping Skill”. It`s funny becuse the first thing that popped into my mind was me walking up in front of the class and saying in a teacherly voice “Hello Class! Today we will leaarn how to cut our selves!!!” All happy and fake.

I was reading some things, and they made sense. There was one were these people were living in a man vs. […]

Late at night, at around 12 A.M. he heard light pitter patter along the halls of the SP House. Nate heard a crash around his door then a paper slipped into his room and then the pitter patter disappeared into the distance. Getting off his bed, he got the note and put it into his pocket. Knowing who it was from, he moved to the lounge.

Hooded figures entered the room, mysteriously late at night. Looking into the room, he saw puppet, as he called himself, leave the room with a hint of sadness. Sitting down at the table, she looked at him and mouthed “please […]

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http://us5.******.com/38366576345753

NEW ROOM. MORE COOL.

My dad killed hisself. Everyone in y family has tried. I have otried a lot. Now I can’t stop cutting. Help me!

This will 100% be my last post on here at 12 tnite i will finally pull the trigger. this site has been so helpful in making it this long. i just wanted to use this to say my last goodbye. dont mourn the dead… mourn the living

I am kind of enjoying a rare peaceful moment…the hour is almost midnight, I am in my bedroom and the window is cracked to let in the cold brittle air of this winters night in yet I hear only the softest of rain patter. It is calming, and the waft of water is cleansing as I breath it in.
Earlier today I was stressed with resume writing for a job I don’t even want to apply for. Then I found a different post and thought, yes, I could do this, and it was easier to write to the qualifications this posting wanted! […]

Girlfriend: love me
Parents: be proud of me
Friends: like me
Brother: trust me
Best friend: laugh with me
Please just help me. I couldn’t walk to bed without crying. My leg was numb…and now I just feel this odd pain. The pain 100 cuts in twenty minutes :/ epic job of mine was to
A. Tell someone, who wouldn’t even help me (I don’t blame them)
B. Hit a wall. Fuck.

41 one more days tell i am done. the plan is set in stone i have the gun i have the note. i just need time to move faster. 41 more days in hell, 41 more days of pain. i am looking forward to my final rest.

Well people it’s a cliché that we born to die, but is true we have good or bad moments but always the end is dead, so what is the problem with smoke? What is the problem with uncontroled sex? What is the problem? We will die finally.
We spend all our life trying to find a way to live more years or to be healthy… Life is more than that and maybe thats why we are here in this site screaming and begging to someone’s support and a shoulder to cry, we are a symbol of selfharm because we choose it unconsient.
I know how […]

All the ups and downs I keep going through is exhausting…

I am heading that direction again because I just want it all to be done and over with.

Do I really have to live like this for the rest of my life?

I HATE THIS LIFE!!!!!

staying positive is getting harder and harder.

I am not normal anymore, I am half a person and people will look at me like I am half a person.

I’m tired. Really tired.

How many years has it been… how many more years will it be?

You all have no idea what you have until you loose it!

I have to live with this. There will be […]

I wish life wasn’t getting harder for anyone. I wish I could make strength from pain for everyone to endure. I wish there was someone who decided to take these problems into huge consideration. As life continues more and more people who need this site haven’t heard of it and problems get worse. I want a cure for these painful endurances. Not medication.not suicide. Not just speaking or in this case typing but something different. If we can show the world how bad it sucks to be in our shoes will things change? I want me wish to be a dream… then it will […]

I put my heart and my soul
Into everything I write
You came here and you stole
And betrayed the copyright
From another site

(2 actually)

If you’re gonna cite word for word
At least have the nerve
To tell us you didn’t write it
But you keep on lying, you deny it

Makes me wonder if your life is
Half as bad as you claim
Im not here to ruin your highness
I’m not about any fame

I’m just being honest
And honestly I’m mad
How could you could lie this much
Who do you think you are, my dad?

Just be real with us and yourself
Hell, maybe you do need […]

I don’t feel like committing suicide. I’m a Born again Christian. But I am feeling overwhelmed. And I have a lot of anger in me for some reason. I pray I don’t hinder anyone by what I am about to write.

People say to reach out when you are feeling down, but most people are to busy or don’t understand I think.

People may think that pointing the finger, and telling you what you are doing wrong is helpful, in this state of mind it’s not. A hug or a high five on what your doing right is helpful.

Anti depressants or the magic pill as i call […]

SP, some of the people on here i really think i can consider to be like family.. they always post back and give me good advice, and are bluntly honest which is exactly what family does.

SP i love you all.. and care for you all like close friends and family..

Today has been weird.. i have been in hyper and in a fairly decent mood.. but at the same time, part of me is really sad… Im just tired.. might go to sleep early tonight.. i can bullshit my homework in the morning before class..

i really miss him.. but im happy without him..

fucking confused.. prob going to sleep.. goodnightt

Boy am I glad to find this site.
Just to be able to write down some thoughts here and not in my despised self help diary notebook.
I was driving around town afraid to come back home. Another sleepless lonely night awaits me. I am scared because I haven’t been this alone in last 3 years.
Here’s a short background story:
6 years ago I found myself wrapped in suicidal thoughts and plans. I delayed them for various reasons. And I tried to build myself as a person. I failed, gave up, found some strength again and tried again, and failed again.. It was a […]