Girlfriend: love me
Parents: be proud of me
Friends: like me
Brother: trust me
Best friend: laugh with me
Please just help me. I couldn’t walk to bed without crying. My leg was numb…and now I just feel this odd pain. The pain 100 cuts in twenty minutes :/ epic job of mine was to
A. Tell someone, who wouldn’t even help me (I don’t blame them)
B. Hit a wall. Fuck.
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7 comments
i’m sorry you feel inadequate for those people in your life. i feel like i’m not good enough most of the time, too. you can tell me what’s bothering you in more detail if you want to speak words.
I’ve been cutting, 🙂 obvious. But the person I told just broke down in tears…a close friend, who usually in times like these offers friendly love. But they wouldn’t help. They did exactly what they knew bothered me (what was predetermined in our nine year friendship) then they stopped talking :'(
I meant what was bother you to cut in the first place, silly. you know, I think breaking down in tears isn’t the worst reaction your friend could have had.. that seems like his or her way of showing care. they’re upset because they don’t want to lose you. for some people, finding out a loved one is depressed is too much to deal with. i know someone the same way.. i don’t talk about this stuff with him because i fear upsetting him or changing his outlook on me. it’s sad that your friend knew it would bother you, but it must have been really painful and shocking news. 🙁
They know that I cut. In fact, they were the reason I cut. This is number seven hundred, it’s old news. And they were cutting too. They first just said good job…good job’s my new lettering. The new words in my skin :/
Oooh, I wish I could take away everyone’s pain.
wow, I was under the impression that you were telling them for the first time. sorry. well, no friend should ever encourage you to cut. why were they the reason you cut?
🙁 long story…they’re from my choir, which I was at last night. We were talking about one of our songs…one which states god is dead. I said I loved that one (I do). When we were walking away, they looked so hurt. So it’s my fault. They kept saying, I don’t make fun of Hinduism, why can’t you just accept Christianity??? Of course I’ve had the stereotypical bad experience with Christianity…sooooooo I guess I just felt awful. It hurt them so much…and because of that later they were trying to hurt me.