Ok. Well I’m 14. Everyone thinks I’m so so happy and I I want is to die. Yes like get the pills and go for ever. I’m really thinking about it. Everyone thinks I’m so good. So happy. Loving my perfect life. Noone knows not my mom or dad. Not even my best friend. I can’t tell anyone or I really will be weird. My mom would think I’m joking. And I’m not close to her like that.. I have problems with how I look I’m too fat. I’m like 5’8 and 135lbs I need to be bones. I envy people that have Ana I […]
My whole life I have struggled to be “happy”. I have a “type A personality” and even though I am aware of it I can’t seem to change my outlook on things. I have friends and family that love me, but I can’t bring them down with my problems all the time. I wish I could see a therapist or something, and just talk to someone who wouldn’t be burdened by my sadness. I’m scared that I will never be happy no matter what I do. Happiness has always been such a fleeting thing in my life. I hate feeling this way. Why does this extreme […]
I am 45 years old and contemplating killing myself.I never had a girlfriend.I try to be kind and decent to others around me but, feel no true caring from others.I have been attending school part-time on and off since 1994.More off due to my crippling anxiety and lack of self-worth.My “goal” is to become a special education teacher.People arround my treat me like I am sub-human and are only nice to me if they want something.I irritate others arround me because I am so fucked-up socially.      U nfortunately I am       starting to develop a hatred for humankind, even though I do not want to feel this […]
Question is simple here.
I can’t believe I came upon this site 10 minutes before I went to work this morning…
Everyday is a struggle to go into work  just like everyday is a struggle to find one more reason to live another day.
I’m a 39 year old mother of 3, and their light that kept me alive in the past is slowly fading. I no longer find solace in their faces… In fact I can’t even look them in the eye anymore. I feel as though they’ve failed me, and I know damned well I have, and will fail them. I think it’s because I’m angry with them for […]
Im not just a kid, im a kid whose been torn
a kid who no one has ever come to mourn
who has been cursed since the day he was born
To people his life was not a rose but rather a thorn
Im not just a kid, im a kid whose been broken
A kid whose always been outspoken
im not just a kid, im kid who has scars
a kids whose spent his whole life behind figurative bars
im not just a kid, im a kid who never had dreams
a kid who never dreamed of heroes and laser beams
a kid from which happiness would not gleam
a kid who was a target […]
I don’t knownif anyone else has been on an anti depression drug but i recently
got taken off of my prescription and i’m not doing so well. mentally i’m feeling a little
more stable than I have been lately but I can’t keep any food down and I’m hot
and cold at the same time and my insomnia is back. Is any of this a normal reaction
when stopping a prescription like this?
an old friend asked me why i was “still with it” when he saw my scars and i joked that i didn’t drink enough.
i’m sick of long sleeves.
i’m sick of scabs.
does anyone here know a good substitute?
i’ve ripped paper and thrown ice cubes, gone for walks and runs and paced and called friends, nothing i’ve tried calms me down like a box cutter.
i’m a terribly, terribly obsessive person, and i’ve got an image stuck in my head and i haven’t been able to shake it for weeks.
SOS
every time i close my eyes, i see my wrist gashed open.
i’m so sick of cutting and so unable […]
someone tell me im in a crazy dream and none of this is real
someone tell me i’ll wake up and realize this is fake
i wanna believe that i actually have a family
i wanna believe that im not a suicidal teen
i wanna believe in something new
someone give me something to believe in before i give up
I just want to scream at the school and say ‘FUCK THE SYSTEM! FUCKING LETTER GRADES SHOULD NOT CONTROL MY LIFE AND MAKE ME FEEL MORE DEPRESS!’
I think of all the relationships I do not have, the lack of love. I can feel my own heart completely overflowing with love for so many things, I find it so easy to love. So why is it so hard for me to feel loved by somebody else? Ive forgotten what it feels like to look into someones eyes and know they love me, to hear someone tell me they love me and believe it, to be held and feel comforted by it. I look around me and it seems to be everywhere. Couples, kids and their parents, siblings, best friends. Everyone has this […]
I’m unsure of what to expect as I haven’t been on a forum like this before, however I can’t sleep as usual so I thought.. why not try… so here goes…
Around 8 years ago this is where I was…
I had a full-time job, I liked it and the people were great, a few years later I found a second job.. I joined the retained fire brigade.. I never thought it possible, everything was going better than I could have ever hoped. I believe I truly was happy then. Things just continued to get better and better as time moved on, around a year later I […]
I’m getting beter. At least I hope so. I think I am though. The thoughts aren’t as often, the pain isn’t as heavy. I laugh more, I smile more, and less and less of them are fake. I’ve been learning to talk about my feelings. To let people help. And for the first time in a while I love life. I haven’t been able to truthfully say that for as long as I can remember. I feel infinite. Just like the leaves, I’m changing and turning into a more colorful beautiful me. I’m just hoping, like the leaves, I won’t fall and be forgotten.
sooo everyone i know has a best friend, their sidekick and vice versa and it makes me feel so horrible that i dont have one….i miss the goodays when life was good and i had friends that cared about me. i dont want this life anymore im so lonly and noone even notices let alone care. i miss going on outtings with friends and just being crazy and now im stuck at home while their having fun with their friends because they moved on with their life and dont need me anymore. i want to disinigrate fromt his earth andhave noone remember me.
I hate when people look at me.
Even a glance.
Just a peek.
I hate it.
I feel like they can see right through me.
Like they are judging me.
I wish I could put a paper bag over my head.
Or a mask over my face.
I feel like people are laughing at me.
I feel like people whisper about me.
I hate when people look at me.
I feel like they are thinking how ugly I am.
I feel like they are thinking bad things about me.
I […]
I don’t know what..
But something is wrong.
I can’t stop shaking.
I can’t eat.
I feel like I’m slowly dying.
It all happened out of the blue..
I don’t know what to do.
I think something is wrong..
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B6AZvtUEQS0
shes lost and dont know what to do.. shes lost all her loved ones . grandpa in december other grandpa 3 months later.. a child 3 months later and the man she fell in love with left her.. whats the next 3 months gonna be like? shes scared and just wants to leave and have nothing to worry about anymore .. be in her grandpas arms just laughing how can life treat her like this? shes tired and ready to leave… be free like a bird..
Every day I wake up to put on a mask. No one will see me. Even as the mask falls do they care. No. Now your just weird. But your not. You try to tell them, but all they hear is complaints. You just keep it all in because you know you mean nothing. No one cares. You hide it. There’s no one to talk to no where to let it out at home it’s all screams. At school you pretend to stay hidden so no one can see you. You ware a long sleeve shirt or a hoodie to try […]