I love my friends with all my heart, but it really seems like they just don’t care about me. Saying they do is one thing, but doing is another. Whenever they need help, I’m there. Whenever they need anything, I’m there. It could be just a small problem and I’ll listen to them no matter what. I have picked them up in the middle of nights many times. I do things without expecting a thank you in return. But whenever I’m feel sad or hurt they just give some one-liner bullshit like “Oh, I’m sorry.” Then they move on with their day. I’ll be honest […]

A stranger hides behind my face,

Someone which no one sees.

A broken soul,

imprisoned by remorse,

longing to be set free.

A stranger walks on by your home,

unnoticed by your eye,

You think its me, when it’s not,

My faces’ clever lie,

Chained to darkness,

but not by choice,

Punishment befitting my sins,

Regret and bitter judgement,

ever closing in.

It steals my name,

It wears my clothes,

this stranger,

that everyone knows.

I just want to end my life. There doesn’t seem to be any reasons to stay…

The caving sinking feeling,is back. its back and i cant handle it anymore. they were supposed to get better. they were supposed to be looking up…but im falling back down again, back into the darkness, back into the misery that never ends. And now its back…its like a relapse….and i know this time theres no coming out. i know this time its it. i know this time i wont fail.

Suicide I Can Never Complete

My empty blue eyes can see no way out,
My soul keeps on screaming but no one can hear,
Life is my prison and I can’t break out,
But I try, and try, and try.

The brightest colors no longer exist,
Black and grey is all there’s left now,
You try to reach out,
But I’m too far away now.

Don’t say that I’m smart,
And don’t call me beautiful,
Even if you mean it,
I can’t tell the difference between truth and a lie.

I’ll drown in the tears I can no longer cry,
And I’ll swallow the pills I can never […]

I feel pathetic and like I am headed no where. When I am brave  enough to talk to my mother about how I am feeling, she doesn’t even care or attempt to understand. She tells me how ungrateful I am and always makes me feel guilty about how much money she spends on me, yet when I give her the money back she refuses it. Last night my brother kicked me in the chest while we were in the car – hard. I couldn’t breathe and felt as though I had the wind knocked out of me. She told me that we would go to […]

Back in January of this year (2012) I lost one of my best friends. (Please read it all)

I have always struggled with my own depression since I was about 12 years old. Ironically, I was severely depressed about the prospect of death. I didn’t want it to happen, ever. I knew it would come one day as it does for all humans, but I didn’t want to accept that fact. I wallowed away for so long. Day after day I would come home from school and just fall asleep on the couch and do nothing. It took me nearly two years to come out of […]

I have thought and  battled trust me, I have got myself out of some really downward states. the thing is though I cant change my life, my external life, Ive changed my internal one but my external one remains empty. I struggle to accept that while I am good looking/ wise/ good hearted/ fun (if im in the right mood) my looks and who I am just means nothing to the majority of women. I guess my problem is in my empty life that I have come to rely on dating sites instead of real life.

Im 34 , good looking and the only woman who seems into me […]

can u tell me plz how to die easily.this is my mail janani23101993@gmail.com.

i want to die.can anyone tell me plzzzz.

I first tried to kill myself when I was 8. No particular reason, I just felt like it. My parents punished me by taking away my mobile phone for a week -_-
12 years have passed and none of my family believe me still.
Doc put me on prozac a few months ago. Increased my dose. No change.
My Mum is the devil reincarnate. A psycho in her own nature. We’re all scared of her.
I love my boyfriend, I know I do – yet I just don’t feel anything for him at the moment.
I’ve had enough now.

Damn, I feel so heavy…so overwhelmed.  The weight of the world just sits on my weary shoulders.  A heaviness that seems to make every step unbearable.  My entire body aches.  A dark cloud hovers over my head and follows my every move.  A cloak of darkness surrounds me. I live in a world with no light. I am alone.  I call out to the universe…pleading for help.  No one hears me.  Tears constantly flow from my puffy eyes. I am consumed by dark thoughts.  These “dark” thoughts are the only thing that eases my pain anymore.  Suicide.  The thought of just going away.  But yet […]

Imaginary friends for treating loneliness = Unhealthy?

I HAVE AN IMAGINARY FRIEND FOR THE PAST FEW YEARS THAT HAS BEEN MY CONSTANT COMPANION. MY QUESTION IS, DOES HAVING A IMAGINARY FRIEND AS AN ADULT IS A GOOD MEANS TO COMBATE & FILL THE VOID OF LONELINESS SINCE REAL, PHYSICAL, IN PERSON HUMAN INTERACTIONS (FRIENDS) ARE VERY HARD TO COME BY FOR ME???

I had a classmate who became a really good friend this year, and I eventually trusted him enough to tell him about my depression and eventually my suicidal thoughts. I was going to kill myself on August 31st, but the day before, he and another friend showed up at my house and told my family. At first I was in shock that my family suddenly knew, and I didn’t feel mad at him, just betrayed. Fast forward to today and now I hate him and her. I’m doing my best to avoid any contact, but at the same time not arousing any suspicions since my […]

I have mostly been unable to maintain the most important relationships to me. My destructiveness has driven my closest friends away from me. I realize this has been true for all of my life.

I’ve always contemplated suicide. I was ready to commit suicide when I was a teenager in high school, but my older brother  committed suicide before me. I saw the pain my family members went through, and I felt I couldn’t ever do it. It’s been years since then. I was 16 at the time. I’m 22 now… I don’t feel too sorry about what happened to him. That’s a whole other story. […]

My roommates are gone, I am alone this weekend, I have the same pills in my car that old have killed me before had I not seen my crying mother. My Boyfriend has no idea I’m this screwed up, he tried calling me, I didn’t answer, what do you say when you’re forcing yourself to puke up your guts after eating a box of brownies. The Bulimia is back, damnit, why won’t Anna come back? I am so angry, I never asked to be saved from my eating disorder, I was so close to death, and my parents court ordered me to another hell treatment […]

Not going to say much….
Have been trying to cheat life for years now….
It is much harder to die than people might believe….
Given up on finding the reason for feeling the way I do….. Bipolar….
How do you fix something if you do not know what is broken????

Let me get back to the actual point I wanted to make….

Yes the old topic of “It is selfish” what about the people you leave behind…. Etc…..
I have come to this realisation sadly only after years of putting my loved ones through hell…
(Numerous attempts of suicide… Drugs… Accidents… too many to mention….)

I would rather […]

Hello everyone,

What a great forum I have stumbled upon. I just wanted to share my story with the only Sane people on earth. Thats right we who deplore living in this cesspool are the sane ones. The others that support the systems are the sick ones. So if any people could possibly understand my decision it might be you.

The clock is ticking until my fianances run out, and I will become homeless.  I am not depressed, actually very reflective. I have been alive on this hell hole for 38 years, and thats 38 years  too long. This place sucks, and its a slave planet. The worst […]

There is one person I know who would actually care if I killed myself and I decided to tell her about everything… She is 17, one year older than I am and I think that telling her was definitely a good thing. She was upset, I cried and she was shocked because I had never said anything about it. She didn’t really know what to say and asked me “Then… what do you need?” [to get better…] and I didn’t really know how to answer… What do I need? Happiness… But how do I get that? More medication? Going out more? Making friends? Somehow […]