IM 17, A SENIOR IN HIGHSCHOOL, AND I WANT OUT. Suicide is scary though, but I don’t wanna live anymore….I really need an easy way out. I hope to soon realize that I shouldn’t be afraid of death. I mean I want it so bad, yet it scares me. It’s effed Up.

Do any of you know this song? It explains exactly how i’ve felt pretty much my whole life.

http://youtu.be/ZGuGiezVzXE

I still haven’t made up my mind. I’m still scared and still very sad. I’m leaving tomorrow. If I don’t come back, I just wanted to thank those who talked to me. I hope that all of you find what you’re looking for. Wish me luck, no matter which choice I make. Goodbye. 🙂

Where’d you go?

Why’d you leave me?

Was it something I said?

Was it something I did?

Was it my fault?

Did I deserve it?

Do I deserve it?

Why me?

Why’d you have to leave me?

Alone?

You left me alone..

You promised you’d never leave..

And that you’d always be there.

Why’d you leave?

These things go through my mind, all day, all night…

Just why?

Answer me that..

I’m trying to figure out this life..

Is anyone trying to find me?

Does anyone want me?

Why is everything so confusing?

Can someone help me?

Be by my side?

Hold my hand?

Guide me through the dark?

Someone?

Anyone?

Have you ever wondered whether your perception of reality isn’t distorted?

I have a problem. I get belligerent for no conceivable reason; rebellious for the sake of being rebellious. It’s impulsive. Reactive. I notice when it happens, but usually moments after the damage has been done. It’s frustration, pent up over time and undirected.

I’ve taken some time to reflect on it, and I need to curb it – put space between incitation and reaction.

This same tendency carries out into how I think; I have a hostile streak towards higher education, for instance, because I see the financial aid system as a scam to […]

It’s only a matter of weeks.  Not exactly sure when but everything is finally in place except the notes i will leave for the family and some fine details.  i made out my will and split up my assets among my sisters and nephews.

I bought all the equipment necessary from Ebay and a few hardware stores plus a fabric shop.

That was very difficult to do but I got it done despite the depression.  My mind is firmly made up. Taking myself out seems to be the only logical option considering my suffering.

My suffering takes the form of a spinal conditon that the doctors can not […]

I don’t wanna do another day it’s to much I quit someone tell me how to end this

I can’t keep on going like this. What’s the best way? How many pills, what ones?

I am humbled by this site. If only we had a clue as to how many others suffer in this life. Idk when this started but I have felt it building for a very long time. And, I have to say, it brings such guilt that, ironically, that is all that has kept me here.

My chidren, my amazing, beautiful children. I have raised the 3 of them on my own and am known as the strongest lady most people have ever known. Boy we had struggles and Lord knows I worked my ass off, but, we made it. I was a very strong willed resourceful Mom […]

I’m so fucked up. Sometimes i have so many contradicting and confusing thoughts i feel they might explode like kernels of popcorn inside my head. I have so many questions and thoughts and feelings that i don’t know how to verbalise them and yet if i don’t try it becomes unbearable. I think people don’t want to believe that there are other people experiencing what they are, i mean we all say we that we don’t want to be alone or misunderstood but i think deep down that’s exactly what we want, because that exact moment were reminded of just how many people in the […]

I just wanted to say hello again.. It’s been a while since I reached out on here. A lot of new names.. similar stories. I just wanted to say hello.. I’m still alive, and still debating each day why I’m still here.. Seeing you guys and seeing people who have gone through what they have really helps.. Helps me know I’m not alone.

And know that neither are you…

I’m a 24 year old male from Sydney. If anyone would be interested in potentially communicating with me on a regular basis via E-mail please do so.
Try it; you may feel a little better.

PS: Not psychologist wannabe/ not religious zealot/ not mouth breathing creep

Freedom_One@live.com.au

Im watching myself, as if im watching a movie. Im dissconected from myself and my life, Im unware of who the fuck i am… I live life as if i was on auto pilot, reacting as one should but at the end of the day i dont recognise myself in the mirror. I stand looking at my reflection and all i see is a stranger staring back. I search my thoughts but im never aware of them, are they even my thoughts? This isn’t my body, this isn’t my mind, i am nothing, i cannot grasp an identity. I search, i scream, i cry. The […]

So yeah went to the councelling session today. I didn’t cry, go me. She insists on telling me how brave i am to have overcome this this and this, as always. Sometimes i think she just doesn’t know what to say to me. We talked about the fact that my education is a shambles. She suggested i should aim towards a degree in youth work, because of how i’ve always been so focused on helping others. That i should be aiming towards a caring profession. Social work and psychiatry is a no no, but if teaching isn’t going to work out for me then i […]

my father and girlfriend today have been harping me to get my ged. i just lost my job and am having a time looking for a new one but no matter where i apply or what i do it is just never good enough. but this is also to anything i do too i feel the same way sometimes like i only have one game for my xbox and its getting boring so now my xbox is inferior. and my tv is only hd and my roomate has a 3d hd tv and mine is bigger but his looks better with a higher refresh rate so […]

Um I really dont know where to begin! I guess everyone is pretty much here because we are having the same thoughts or has someone close to us having the same thoughts. I swear I feel lost because how can I not go to anyone in my family, but I feel so comfortable speaking with total strangers LOL but here goes! I am 24 years old and I feel like I have reached my limit. I feel as if my expiration date has arrived and it is time for me to go home to my maker. I don’t want to ever sound like a complainer […]

Im an idiot i messed up big time.
I wanna overdose i want to remove the pain i want to die. I have no hope in life
everytime im on the bed i can’t get up it is so tiresome even eating food is a problem. Im sick of the world, im sick of everyone, im sick of myself. I want out.
This truly hurts im far away from home and i cant act like a man. Im 18 and being dissapointed isn’t something new.
How many of you did not get something you always wanted? Dreams are shattered.hope is lost
i wish i had […]

It makes me upset to open up this website and see almost 3 new stories almost every 10 minutes. I feel like things just keep getting worst and worst for all of us. Well, if you ever need to talk, Message me. Naiomyhernandez@gmail.com .

First of all, I am not an iminent danger to myself or others. I have been to the behavioral health unit against my will once and I will NEVER go back again.

I’m 44 years old.  I am repsected in my community for some reason and most people think I am pretty together. All that said I am about at the end of what I can take. When do things get better? I have battled with this for years. I have been diagnosed as bipolar. I have tried numerous medixcations but now all I take is Xanax to keep me from getting to crazy. I won’t […]