It feels like I’m always alone  now that college has started. My friend is telling me all of his experiences and how he’s having a good time at his university. My friend has always gotten things his way from girls grades etc. I feel like I can never get things easily  I get nervous around girls and people. Why is my life so different from his? Why am I like this
Exactly a week ago i ran away from home. why? because my so called mother told me she hated me & that she was alredy tired of me. i love my mother very much but the way she treats me just gets this depression of mine worst. i know i’m supposed to respect her but how does she want me to respect her is she doesn’t respect me. when i was little she used to cheat on my dad & she would do it infront of my face. that really hurt me growing up with the picture of my mom cheating on my dad with 4 guys. […]
I dnt understand why i feel this way..i know why bt dnt understand why.. I have moments of happiness.. just moments nothing more.. i cnt even remember the last time i smiled without faking it.. Im tired of pretending, im tired of hoping, im tired of believing, im jus tired now. I really dont want to be this way, i dnt want to feel this way but things dnt change.
Ive always had this depression and I never really tried to get rid of it because it helps with my art.Ive never been good at anything but that especially writting I tend to over write….like right now.Its never been this bad but I guess its becuse ive never fucked up this bad and I know youre going to think of me as one of the most cruel horrible heartless dumbasses but I assure you, I do have a heart Im just stupid.Back in highschool my freshman year was just a blur I mean it started off bad I was hit by suburban the third […]
I have had 3 suicides in my life. My father , his father, and then my uncle. I was only 8 at the time. It has effected me in every single way. I was in depression.. I used to have a severe phobia of dying and i will admit i also used to have suicidal thoughts, but I found something that I hang on to and that is helping people. I try to show people the light when they are consumed in darkness. I am everyones friend no matter what anyone went through or whatever mistakes they’ve made. I dont shut people out because I […]
hey have you noticed, that most people hate this world, because of other people?
If I was the only person living in this world, it would be glorious yet boring.
Controversy brings us to life, and peoples shit and torture awakens us. if anything we grow stronger, yet then again, we can crash down, and not get back up again. I believe life is a gift, fuck all those who share  it with you, and take advantage of it. be selfish, with life. do not let others ruin it for you.
i’m always self-conscious about my weight.
i’m convinced people don’t like me because i’m ugly inside and out. thats why i have no friends. i always say that ” if i was skinny and pretty, everyone would like me.” i think that i might try throwing up my food, after I eat it. Â I would do it more often, but i hate the feeling of vomit. Why can’t I just be skinny, and pretty?
It’s done. That final thing I had is about to be taken away from me. First my family made me their scapegoat, then I found out that 90% of my so called “friends” actually have been bitching behind my back for nearly as long as I’ve known them and now my boyfriend is going to leave me. Basically this girl (ex girlfriend) he slept with (with protection) is trying to say that it didn’t work and that she is pregnant. She has also given him an ultimatum, either he goes back to her and they be a “perfect” family, or he will never see the […]
I know, I hate spamming, and I’m sorry for reposting but I feel that this will help alot of people. Now before I start, this isn’t a story about how I’m depressed or anything, but, in fact, I’m not depressed anymore, well at least not as much, thanks to you guys. I want to return the favor. Right now I’m working on a project (movie) that will help others just like you and me, struggling to get by day by day, and I need YOUR help. I want a video of YOU telling your story, your story of struggle, but also, telling us what makes you […]
Alone in the darkness, I ask myself if tonight is my last. But I take a picture to remind myself that if anyone can find the beauty in this life of hopelessness and guilt and heartache, it’s me. So I stare into the face of sadness and instead of looking for flaws, I look for elegance. Sometimes pain masks the grace in each of us, but sometimes, if we look hard enough, pain reveals it.
today i took a bath. its funny how you forget how much you love something until your denied it for such a period of time. all day at work i wished to be home in my tub. alone with the warm bubbly water. relaxed. i could drown if i wanted to. itd be easy. i could make a slice in my arm because i remember how my situation in life would be put on hold,as i count out the things i hate about myself in my own skin.
i really dont want to do this anymore. but for now i will just enjoy the water. […]
Once again tonight I can feel her clawing her way through my chest to grasp my throat and strangle me again. #2. The one who beats me down until I can’t take anymore. I’m trying so hard right now to fight her back. No, this isn’t multiple personalities.. I don’t think. If you read my last post, then you know what I’m talking about.
I talked to my friend tonight and she told me all about her new boyfriend. I feel like such an asshole for telling her to slow herself down and be a little more cautious. But then, at the same time, she’s telling […]
I hate life at this moment and I’m not sure if I wanna wake up tomorrow …..who would care well no one so goodbye to all good luck with our screwed up fucked up lives
I would never do it… But i just dont get why we are here. Whats the point of this when theres so many things going on in the universe.whats the point of us being here?.we are insignificant in the big picture…just little specs…its just weird
I really don’t want to commit suicide, but in my case, I think it may be my only way to avoid a life of complete suffering for many more years.
I’m a single, middle aged woman, no children or spouse. Â I have siblings whom I no longer can have a relationship with, for valid and good reasons. Â While I have friends, and I appreciate them, they have their own families and their own lives, I cannot count on them to alleviate the loneliness. Â I’m incredibly, incredibly lonely.
But, I’ve always been a “fighter” … until now. Â I’ve gone through trial after trial through my years on this […]
Is it apathetic?
Indifferent?
Or is the universe dreaming about us?
I really want to believe that it’s dreaming. If it’s all a dream, then the horrific things that happen on a daily basis are the result of the universe eating some really bad sushi before it went to sleep.
Ya well i broke up with her about 3 months ago didnt wana hurt her honestly but It because I am Bi and I like more guys I have boyfriend and well I am Gay.Came out the closest 2 months ago and ya since then people are still talking shit and it doesnt stop. I honestly dont know what i did wrong but I hurt my ex it’s weird I would still do anything for her anything anything still feelings there for her cus we went out for 2 years and they just wont go away..However, meet my boyfriend on Facebook and he my […]
Omfg i screwed… Stupid me just made a promise i know i wont b able to keep… I promise my friend whom i call my sister Ember that i wouldn’t cut till my birthday not even on my birthday and i mean its not that far but to me it feels like a eternity my bday is on the 16th this month.. And every year since i was 6 years old i would cut my hip (where the bone is) and i would cut deep enough i would almost need stitches but not deep enough that it would leave a scar.. But i would dip […]
I can never be myself around people. Whenever I’m with my best friends I think I’m myself but as soon as I get home from being with them I start to hate myself. They seem to think of me as clown with no life. Throughout my life people have always looked at me like I was pathetic and enable to do anything. I wanna change but whenever I try I can’t, I feel like its to late to do anything in my life. It feels like I have no purpose of being here. I guess I wanna know if I’m a mistake.
i cried last night. i don’t know why. i just did. i cried silently into my pillow, made a new contact on my phone, put in a random number and named him God.  I texted God, but that stupid exclamation mark came up when it hasn’t been delivered  so it made me even more sad. the message was not delivered so i cut myself.