I relapsed.
It’s been a year and seven months since I last cut.
All of its down the drain now.
“Worthless” – that’s the word I chose this time.
That’s how I feel.
Life is hard. And most of the time I can’t take it anymore. I’m not saying my life is the worst but I’m not saying its the best either. On the outside to my closest friends and to family I seem fine, okay. A happy go lucky girl thats enjoying her teenage years. A girl who smiles an laughs a lots. A girl that can hold her own and can never be beatin or brought down. I seem strong. But the real me, the real me is weak. A weak scared confused girl. A girl who is so use to faking her happiness she forgot […]
i’ve literally been crying none stop. i feel so unneeded. it’s like just one something good happens to me it’s gone in a flash, or like if something good has been going on i’m just waiting for something bad to come. i’m so paranoid. like i can’t be happy, cause if i am something bad is bound to happen. plus my bestfriend of 5 years isn’t even there for me. all i do is need someone to talk to, to get this all out…everytime we make plans and i go to tell her she bails on me. not to mention i’ve been a cutter for […]
What do you do when every comment anyone makes seems personal to you?
Even when those comments are not directed at you?
Even when those comments have nothing to do with you?
Even when those comments are not even applicable to you?
I get this problem sometimes. What the hell it is, I don’t know, and I don’t understand it. At any other time, I have a skin thick as raw-hide, but other times, it’s as if I’ve walked into an auditorium naked and everyone is staring, whispering amongst themselves. I don’t know why because I’m not naked, and nobody is staring, and any whispering […]
It seems like a good question to ask before you keep searching on this site for something you may never find or get something you were not looking for.
I dont even know where to start… I’v been dealing with depression for about three years now. And each day just seems to be getting harder than the day before. I honestlywould not be here if it werent for a couple of friends that help me get thru. I just want to quit so bad! I think of suicide every day. Some days I almost go thru with it.  I try to hide it as best as I can but some days its just so hard!
i want to text her. i know i shouldn’t. at worst she’ll get angry, and at best she’ll just ignore me. actually, i don’t know which would really be worst / best.
even just a simple, “hi, i hope you had a good day…”
if she cared, she would text me.
i text her though, i am labeled as annoying and/or pathetic.
i hate texting. this is not how people were meant to (or should) communicate.
stupid “DING” of the phone gets me all worked up.
i want to text her. i know i shouldn’t.
I don’t know where to start, but here I am. I turned 19 recently, nothing really big happened. I am a well behaved girl, I always obey my mothers direction to everything, even my path and such. I know that, my life isn’t any worst compare to others, but its just not right for me. I do wish that I am not greedy for life, but honestly i never get the appreciation i wanted. Whenever I was asked to do something, i never get any self value back, it seems like I am a slave or something to her. Did i say “asked”? sorry i […]
Why …why…….Why is it so hard..to be positive…no matter how much I try…….The end for me. I’m trying so hard…to reach for the light…end up falling back down. Please…..help me…..I’m hopeless….I’m giving up…..
All through my life ive been abused, my parents dont understand me, long story short they believe in forced respect. My brother suffers with depression, he used to cut in his room with a knife. My relatives are truly the rudest assholes ive met. They seem to enjoy me while im around but they never talk to me and ive heard them say bad things about when i get roughly 15 meters away from them. School is the worst. I get bullied and i get called names like ‘sausage nipples’ and ‘smalldick’ (the second one originated from 4 days ago when they saw me urinate […]
HOLLY MOTHER OF GOD YOU MAKE ME WANNA JUMP IN FRONT OF A MOVING BUS!
When i bust my ass off to do as you say, to make you proud what do i get nothing
When i tell you i love you and put up with your bullshit parenting what do i get group home
When i ask you whats important and you answer is your abusive son and not my daughter who was abused by my son then your fucking crazy
When you have that choice for us to both have a good life and disagree you want yours to be fine but mine to die and your […]
So I went onto Google today, and not for the first time this year typed in the word “heartbreak”. My boyfriend and I broke up on the 29th of October, 2011. So it’s been almost  a year. We’d been going out for 6 years.
Insert here a movie montage of every rom-com cliche – the kisses, the hugs, the tickles, the laughter, the constant “I love you”s in a variety of tones and funny voices. It was gorgeous and silly and life seemed light.
When it ended, it’s an understatement to say that I was stunned. I never saw it coming. In August he started acting weird. By […]
Hahahahahahaha Just got cheated on.
Beauty.
in the eye
of the beholder.
no one is
holding me.
no beauty
for me.
turn on the light,
tell me what you see?
nothing beautiful at all.
i dont posses
that quality in me.
i cant change
how i look
how i sound
how i feel.
my life has
betrayed me.
i dont know
what to do.
Blue skies
and red ribbons
flowing freely
in the wind.
crimson waves
in the ocean
riding towards
the shore.
tears falling slowly
like marbles rolling.
the course of the
wind.
sobs.
coming from
the floors below.
i want to move,
but i cannot
it wont let me.
i see it now,
death invading,
i feel his thirst,
thirst for my blood.
a friend of mine who recently broke up with her bf is contemplating suicide & she shared that with me..she told me she wants to inhale carbon monoxide..i’ve told her parents but they haven’t done enough about , i feel sick thinking that she might die in a painful way…or would this even be fatal? i don’t want her to do this and i’ve tried talking to her & comforting her but she cries eveday and it’s awful seeing her this way i just don’t know what to do at this point..
http://youtu.be/7knUFWY2P44
I hate my life so much, everytime something good happens its gone in a flash, looking back all I remember feeling is sadness and depression, so many times I’ve been desperate to end it all, I just can’t because it would devestate my family, the only people who actually do love me. I’m just so miserable all the time, I don’t think I can do this much longer, it hurts all the time, I constantly feel like bursting into tears and its as if i’m powerless to stop it, i love someone and they cheated, i took them back now it seems they might not […]
hello. it has been so long since i have even been one here. since april actually. but i decided to come back on.
i feel done with life. im not living anymore. im just the walking dead, like a zombie. literally. i cant concentrate on anything. and ill probably be made to go to rehab soon because i couldnt stop smoking weed. well i dont really care. im planning on killing myself before that happens. i know for a fact that i can never be happy again. thats just never gonna happen. im just completely done. i dont even want to be around my best […]
All I remember, all I have in this life is pain. Nobody around me can even begin ti imagine: I am a well-educated person in a good and well-paid job that I love, I have, or at least I pretend I have, an active social life…But I have never been happy, and I am so tired o trying…I am so tired of living. Nothing takes away that feeling. My life is apparently good, but if I went into details, it would be clear that not all that shines i gold. I grew up in a broken home, an all my childhood memories are accompanied […]