I cheated on my last boyfriend with the same guy twice.
Ive had sex with three guys who i were not dating.
I’ve had sex with 10 guys
I have a tattoo
Ive tried killing myself several times
Ive been wanted to die for the past three years
Im scared of the dark
I feel like I’m never gonna make in this world without a man
I want a secret chick lover
I love photography but think i suck at it
I wish i could be a stonner like my brother bc then life would be simple
I pushed a lot of people away
I […]

The last five years of my life, atleast since i can remember back till i was about ten, my bother has been abusive to me in forms that over brother/sister fighting…. I have lived with my mother and him my whole life. My mother who is 52 years old has none of him doing this and has not done anything about it. She is very sick and is disabled so she doesn’t make much money. My brother used most of her money on weed and stupid shit. Im still in high school. He’s 19 living with us and has not tried to even look for […]

everything i do is for her. everything she does is also for her. i wish i could stop my heart from beating for her… but the only way to do that is to stop my heart from beating period.

it isn’t supposed to be like this. i miss her so much.

What do you do when it hurts so bad,
Hardly breathin..
Did some body arts..it’s bleedin..but i can’t feel the pain..no matter how many cuts i made..
Numb..
Pills…to knock me out.
Fallin apart.. cryin myself to sleep..

Hey, I’m 21 I have no friends, no girlfriend and I have been alone my entire life idk why. Everyone who meets me says I’m the Nicest guy but no one wants to hang out with me. I’ve been depressed almost my entire life I’ve never really had any friends I’ve only had one girlfriend and she ended up cheating on me. I really have nothing to really live for the only thing I’m good at his school and I have to work really really hard to do good in it. I need help. I’m just withering away

For some strange reason, all ive thought about today is my mom. She was diagnosed with schizophrenia about 6 years ago, and since then, she hasnt been the same. She functions fairly normally, but she seems sad a lot. She gets happy, but it dissapears really fast. I worry about her a lot because she doesnt eat a lot and shes extremely OCD about her food. We cant go near her while shes eating or she wont eat her food. She rarely eats everything she makes and always gives the remainder of her food away. Shes always extremely stressed. When shes mad or upset she […]

I made a few posts on here a while ago. I was in a really bad place.

Since then, I have made significant changes in the way I think and approach every situation. It hasn’t been easy, but I honestly feel like things will be okay. The posts that I read through really break my heart. I hope that you will all find a way to be okay with who you are because we all deserve to be happy.

So this is my last post. I will think of you all everyday whether I’ve spoken to you or not.

With love,
brighteyes. xx

I feel so unwanted on this earth. I just want to curl up and die most of the time. I  get so angry for no reason and everyone excepts me to do so well in my final exams. I am under so much pressure. People always talk about me or tell me I am not good enough. There is always some sort of rumour about me like ‘She has Bulimia’ ‘She is a slut’ ‘She is a fat whore’ Why target me? I just want to die. Most of you are probably like ‘She has nothing wrong in her life. People are well worse off […]

I have no where else to vent, this is my place and i no guys will alway listen even in the smallest amount. So my stress has reached a boiling point, my aunt had the gut to tell me i have a poor excuse for not visiting my grandfather ,because i have lessons, but when i fail school they alway say shit, i could care less for their fucking bullshit, i have my own life to live and i don’t want or need their fucking in put . Why doesn’t she spend time with him if she is so concerned. I really hate ppl […]

I am 23 years old.  I am a new to this forum.  The reason I joined is because I feel relentlessly hopeless like all of you.  I feel I no longer have an escape.  I have burned all my previous ties with my family and friends, and I have not had a social life in over 2 years. In fact, I do not even leave the house anymore.  I am alone, in debt, and miserably empty.

In High school I had an extremely fruitful social life.  At the age of 18 I was slowly covered by a blanket of  torturous anxiety. The anxiety is strictly social. […]

I don’t understand cutting.  Honestly I never have.  I love knives, and own a lot of them.  I own a gun and never get to shoot it.  I have no release for the pain I feel.  It just bottles up.  I don’t have a breaking point.  I’ve lived long enough to never really reach it.  I rarely cry.  Its got to be really bad to cry.  There just is no relief.  Sometimes I will drive and my heart will hurt so bad I dream of crashing into a parked car to take away the pain.  But I keep on driving, perfectly.

I don’t know how many […]

So I guess I’m just kinda gonna write down what’s been happening to me lately. This’ll be a place for me to vent and write it all down. Here’s where it starts.

16th September was the day I met this girl, it was the Rugby World Cup and I was out in the city with some mates to watch the game on some big screens and get drunk. She had just moved up from another city, which had been devastated by an earthquake and her house unlivable. I met her, and apparently, we actually both wanted to get with each other but we didn’t. She eventually […]

I have always believed that Suicide is a personal choice and that it should be a lawful and valid answer for any ADULT (sorry, there is SOOOOO much drama during the teen years that if legal EVERYONE would commit suicide) that is in so much physical or psychological pain that they just want out.

If you are in so much physical pain – from an illness, injury, birth defect, etc. – that day-to-day life is a struggle and you are in constant unbearable pain, I believe that if all else has failed and you CHOOSE suicide, then you should be supported in your decision.

If you are […]

Romantic movies are horror films to me. I can’t stand watching them. They make me want to slit my wrists. I don’t need to be reminded of what I am missing. This loneliness is enough as it is. Would you make a starving African kid watch a movie about banquettes? It would be cruel to do such a thing. Spent my whole life trying to look like a movie star to deserve the love I saw on TV, but I was very mistaken. Once my dark energy, my negativity, my complexity, my lack of self esteem, my constant depression and my bipolar behavior  suddenly appear, […]

Does time truly heal all wounds? 

Or do they just scar over, becoming a functionless part of us, a reminder of the flawless skin that used to be beneath?
A reminder of everything that was good, that will never be again.
Sure, it will come back together, but it will never be as good as it was…

There are no more tears to shed

How many goodbyes have i left unsaid?

Did it hurt to see me die?

I know it hurt to see you cry.

I didn’t mean to be so cruel.

I know i broke all your rules.

I wish i could be normal again.

I wish i didn’t have to pretend.

All the lies and underlying hate,

will still be with me at Hell’s gate.

The hate, not for you, but for me,

is the kind that kills, it killed me.

So you see, i killed myself,

It’s not your fault.

So don’t blame yourself, you did okay.

I didn’t tell anyone i felt this way.

You may have guessed but brushed it off.

Maybe you’ll be […]

I took eight advils like three days ago, I am 12 years old a female, why didnt I die? I also cut myself on that day too…… Is there a very cheap way to die? oh ya and it would be nice if it was a fast way too…..I cant die with the car way because I dont have a garage…. If you could give me a link on how to tie a noose that would be great…..The only thing I am worried about is my boyfriend……or being discovered on the act of killing myself….

This will be my 20th weekend here in the darkness lying in bed. Pair of sweat pants, this computer and some depressing movies that understand me. A beautiful childhood, horrible teens. I was a nobody, got raped by my uncle and my father got killed. Dreamed of being a Hollywood actress, went after my dream. Literally lost my mind in New York city on my first try at 18. This bipolar disorder has followed me ever since. In my 20’s and early 30’s, I had many chances of a great life, beautiful boyfriends, was in magazines and even on NBC national T.V, but everything was […]

I was looking through the family camera when i seen all these photos with my dad and the rest of the family, must have been for his birthday.

But i am not there. I was not invited. When i brought it up with my mum, visibly angry  she just ignored me and told me to shut up.

They all think it’s normal and that i am ‘overreacting’. Wow.

My mum is moving house and she wants me to move in with her and my brother. Fuck that. I would rather be homeless, honestly. This environment is fucked, it’s so damaging. I want out. I need out.

I will not live much longer […]

I’ve received most of my exam results & its good enough for me. But it will never be good enough for father, so I haven’t shown him yet. I’ve given it all I can, but I know he will still not be satisfied with it! Lately I’ve been staying at the library late to do better in this essay, because I know that it HAAASS TO BE better than the last.

The old man hasn’t been speaking to me lately, and I know that something is cooking in that head of his. I just found out that he thinks I’ve been out and about NOT at […]