The world is full of do gooders who have no concept of pain and suffering but have a total belief in their sense of what is right. They cannot listen to reason because their belief overshadows all. Like someone trapped in their own body paralised and helpless and unable to control their own future however the do gooders will tell that person that their suffering is all part of a great plan and they will achieve salvation, the fact they will have to live in agony for years does not matter, besides the do gooders do not live in agony as every day they condemn […]

Ok, I live alone in a small one bedroom condo.  I tried hanging and finally got a good rope made in my closet.  It will work as when I did it I got light headed.  Trouble is I panic and then stop.  It is just so hard to do.  Thought about jumping from high above however I am so afraid of heights and know that I could never do that.  In Japan people get a van and have a charcoal grill in it.  Everyone in the van dies very peacefully.  Trouble is its not to popular in the U.S.  I never even light a charcoal grill before […]

I’m still alive… against all odds… and no one has realised that i have even attempted to take my life and i keep giving them hints… they don’t care enough to pay any attention to me… so why should i even bother with them anymore?

im depressed, society has set us all up to fail.  pressure, social norms, ‘fitting in’  if you cant get a job, not in school and cant support yourself you have failed! I have failed! Im a total loser, yet I lie and fake my happiness so well no one has any idea of my suicidal thoughts.  I just want to die, why is life so fucking hard!!! I just want to die PLEASE!!!!!!!! Fucking kill me now!!!!!!!!

I thought I could do this. Living. But I can’t. Truth is, I am not strong enough. The easiest way out now would be to kill myself because honestly nobody would care. I just want to end it. I have so many emotions inside of me. I am angry, sad, depressed, annoyed, and so much more. I don’t know what to do anymore. I just want to die.

i come from a very strict, restrictive, conservative background. i had suicide on my mind from a young age. i wrote a suicide note at 7. i tried to run away at 10. each time i chickened out. i didn’t go to school by myself till i was 18. i have never gone to a birthday party, a sleep over. my parents didnt want me to. they controlled how much food i ate. made me do chores. i spent christmas studying. my weekends were lucrative times for private tutors. i was so depressed. got fat. gained 60 pounds went from a respectable 120 pounds to […]

I’ve been skulking and lurking in and out of the site for a few months now. So hey, a great pleasure to meet you all.

I’ve decided that today is the perfect day for the grand finale, so I’d just have to throw my piece of words to the pile.

Now that I recall, I can remember predicting this outcome years in advance, yet judged that the risk was worth the possibilities such a life would unlock. No limitation or inhibitions, breaking down and examining everything in reality to acquire ultimate knowledge.

But perhaps it was inevitable. It depends on how much credibility can a manic-depressive get for […]

I know I wrote a post already tonight, but people have been really supportive and encouraged me to write how I’m feeling and stuff here, so I’m going to try. As I have mentioned in past posts, I have depression and PTSD as a result of seeing a friend commit suicide and being raped last year (among other events in my life). Since then I have felt so many terrible emotions, mostly aimed at myself. Disgusted, whore, alienated, *****, selfish, weak and freak are just some of the words that come to mind when I think of myself. I blame myself for letting it all […]

Any ideas ??

I am tired of life. I’m 19 with no job and not going to collage. Fat and being made fun of by my family and my own sisters. They think that I can’t do anything and now I’m starting to believe them coz anything I do has a fault in it. I have no. Future coz of it and don’t want my parents to feel bad and sad coz of it but I can’t go any further , I know I’m aburden to them and they have my other sisters who are perfect. Should I just give up?

I never really got the above statement. I mean yeah everyone should appreciate what they have, but it doesn’t make our problems any less real or influential to our lives. Like today I told a friend that my PTSD and Depression was really getting to me and their response was “There’s people way worse off. Like think of the people in third world countries, they are starving.” Yes it is sad that they are starving and don’t get the same opportunities as others, but hearing that line did not and never does make my psychological issues go away or seem any less damaging than they […]

I believe family and friends are the most important things in the world.  I am committed to this idea.  My family and friends are not.  One by one, they have all fallen out of my life.  They don’t call me back.  They don’t show up to parties.  nothing.  They just vanish and I have no idea why.  I could understand if we’d had some sort of disagreement, but there was nothing.  One day things are fine.  The next day I no longer have a friend.

Needless to say, I’m quite lonely. 

I wish I knew why everyone is leaving me.  I must be me, right?  Most of […]

Not actually much of a Harry Potter fan, but I thought it was an apt title anyway.

I’ve wanted to kill myself for several years now. I haven’t had the thought every day or anything, but there would be weeks at a time when I would try to push myself and make it through the day. I would keep myself as busy as possible so I couldn’t think. Still I had to go to sleep at some point and that’s when the thoughts and plans started brewing. Every night I would lay down and realize how pointless and lonely everything was. These feelings persisted for weeks […]

i want suicide becasue she left i am poor

I can’t hang on anymore, I can’t grip on reality, it feels like one tiny more push by a friend or family member or a tiny indirect threat etc will push me to taking 60 pherngan tablets.

I’m so lonely…..

Damn… I’m a little depressed, but don’t want to fight it. Because even when I am not depressed I am still the same person who is doing nothing.. I hate myself for being myself. I know I haven’t reached my lowest point yet, and I am very afraid that one day that day will come and everyone else will discover how worthless I am. I am a lazy fearful procastinator, and I am not and don’t think I’ll do something about it, because I know that when I try somewhere down the road I will eventually quit when the going gets though.

Hi everyone basically I am suicidal suprise suprise, this time I don’t want to come back, I deactivated my facebook because individuals were egging me on to kill myself….urgh, I am currently stressed out about TAFE, my family situation everything basically and I have been on 9 different drugs, anti depressants you name it, I hate my life and I am suicidal I want to die.

Sorry to bother everyone but I am sick of life one more wrong thing and I will kill myself, I just deactivated my facebook, sick of people’s crap…

i am completley and totally worthless… no one cares about me

I am so ready to leave. plan on my daughter’s birthday (yes, a daughter that I don’t get to see) to leave this pathetic fucking life. Funny that so many believe in a fictious god, but think (because a dumb book) that you will be damned if you leave this crappy shit earlier. There is no god, and there is nothing after this bullshit. We are just like any other animal on this planet, look at all of our actions. We go to war for what reason? There is more than enough land on this planet to live. We keep others financially strap for what […]