So I pretty much have become tired of living my life. I feel
like a waste of space most of the time. After my Mom died and my Dad married my
step mom my life has changed drastically. It’s not that I don’t like my Dad; he
just doesn’t know how to deal with things himself. For example he goes out to
drink a lot and acts younger than his 17 year old daughter does. If he’s not
out he’s at work or in his room which leaves me with no choice but to sit in my
room all day. I have quite a few […]
Hi. I’m marissa and I’m a drug addict and an achoolic and “suicidal”
I havent always been like this. It started in 6th grade. I had no friends cause my best friend/ only left me for another person. I was all alone. Then 7th grade rolled around and I made a couple new friends and started to drink my worries away. I would rarely talk in school to anyone. When I got home I would alway go home and cry. I cut every night. When 8th grade came I was majorly popular. But it wasn’t my true self that was popular, it was my fake. My […]
I’ve been suicidal since 7. No one knew but me. I tried to choke myself , or I’d tried to freeze to death. Nothing took me out but exhaustion. Too tired to finish. Some who know me are glad I’m still here. I’m not in a way, but it’s so complex to help anyone understand.
I had therapy since 11 or 12 till now. each one different and 2 fresh minds listened. I had doctors for pans unexplained. A few were answered the rest I had to just accept. They come and go.
All throughout those times death came across my mind. Across my eyes. I […]
Today is the day to enroll in that shitty tafe course I mentioned before enrollments have to be done by 3… And it is now 11:51am
Im still in bed thinking about how I’m not going to waste 1600 on something I’m going to fail, besides I don’t ever have that money! I will never have that money with the amount of shifts I get.
I got onE shift this week for 5 hours oh that’s helpful. Not.
Hm I’ve applied for nightclub work but like usuall no ones bothered to contact me, I suppose it’s only been 2 days but hm.
I’m also dying […]
DON’T END YOUR LIFE , DON’T GIVE UP , REACH OUT TO ME.
Before you decide to take your life, imagine who will find you. Imagine them walking into a room, and seeing you just hanging there. Whether it be your little sister, little brother, mother father, grandparents, a friend. Imagine what will happen when they find you. No, they will not say “Finally, they’re gone.†No, they will not say “I’m happy they did that.†No, they will not say “I never loved them anyways.†[…]
I live a life, yet I feel like I do not truly hold an important existence. All I am is an immense disappointment, a big burden, & faith put to waste. I have felt worthless and invisible in society ever since I was a little child, and I have worked so hard to overcome that, yet I have just landed right back into that same dilemma and loneliness. In so many ways, I am still that lonely, confused, and lost child I was then, yet unlike then, there just is no hope for me now. Change just is not possible.
One of the biggest issues in my […]
It’s amazing, I’m just so unhappy that I actually want to kill myself. Nobody genuinely cares. They might say they do, but the cold hard truth is, they don’t. This broken heart of mine just can’t be healed. I hope she is happy in his arms. The pain I go through every day just isn’t worth it anymore. Death is the only way out to relieve this pain.
I write a lot of poetry that comes from within when I can no longer express myself clearly. It can be what I’m doing at the moment or what’s pulsing inside. It must get out. I used to draw by hand and every blue moon I will draw one thing. But my art is not what it used to be. I am not what I used to be.
My drawing as a kid at in school got me in trouble. I did it during class when what I was learning didn’t interest me. Teachers would take my notebook, or scold me. One kept my notebook […]
Hi my name is bryan… i am bored about this life cause there isnt any exciting for me i dont have a big quanty of friend a others teenagers i am from southamerica i dont have girlfriend i am so lonely i have parents but sometimes i think that i am only an error… i am not the perfect student i dont have too much money my dad isnt a good father he only says that i have to be the best he dont know why he only want that and what i recieve nothing he had promess lot of thing to me… i have […]
I wish there was a way to make suicide easy. I want no pain in this. I already have enough pain on my own, why would I want the last seconds of my life in worse pain? Plus, what comes after? What if that place after death was worse than here? I wish I wasn’t such a ***** and just would do it already. I wish I knew what came next. All these wishes of mine lead to death and what comes after. If I just had someone 100% there for me, I think I wouldn’t be in this mess.
tomorrow I will take an HIV test.. I have taken other ones b4 and they were all negative but I will take it again.
I am so desperate because if it is +.. I dont know if I can handle it..
I am worthless, everyone around me is better off without me. I can’t take care of someone else if I can’t even take care of myself. Whenever I want to talk to someone I find out I have noone really to talk to. If I open my heart to someone then I will suffer. They will have the power to make me suffer even more. I don’t want to suffer, I don’t want to be alone, I don’t want to be here… I’m too scared to commit suicide but I just cant handle life… I need help but…
I just want to go away
Im just so depressed I can’t get out of bed today nor can I sleep. I want to get up its just I feel like I have no use for it
Tomorrow I’m going to my friends..the first time since I got on my meds. She knows about them and so does get mom but I’m still nervous about taking it just because I try to keep it hidden.
Tonight is the night my dreams come true. If I cannot have the woman I love, I cannot have anything. My plan no longer matters. I have a rough combination and can handle the pain, cause nothing, and I do mean NOTHING, can rival the pain she has put me through the last year. And still I love her with all my mind, body, heart and soul. This will obviously be my final posting. Mythological creatures don’t die, right? They live on forever. This Siren is about to disprove that mythological belief. I just can’t do it anymore. Not even time for the Siren’s final […]
I sit alone in my dark corner, my insides are dead and my eyes are cold.
My eyes are flat as my sight turn to my companion, so shiny, so sharp, only one of many weapons I use to slice my wrists into shreds.
My companion’s name: ‘razor blade’
I wrap my wrists in the sleeves of my jacket.
Voices around me scream my name as I lift the barrel to my head, I place my finger on the trigger and close my eyes.
I drown out the screams to stop,My heart stops beating and I fall to the ground.
The gun falls to the ground away from me barrel still […]
I would just love to have some one hold my hand and come with me..
seriously i don’t want to go on any more. i just don’t know how to do it. pills seem like not really a method with a high succeed rate. i don’t have ways to get a gun or anything like that. i thought about jumping from a building, but i could never do that head first. hanging is a no go because suffocating is a trauma of mine, i am sure i couldn’t go through with it. then i thought about jumping before i train, but i feel its a really egoistic act because of the trauma you will cause the driver, also thought about […]
All my life all I have ever wanted to do was fit in and make friends but for some reason it just could never happen. I apparently scare people with my looks. I naturally look angry but anyone who talks to me more then 5 minutes knows that I am not angry. Lately I have been sad and angry. I got my 1st kiss a few days ago but it was nothing.  There is a girl who is like my cousin but she is not (Uncle married her mom, they got divorced.) and I made a bet with her.  I won the bet and she kissed […]
I just cant make it stop. The thoughts are flooding my mind and I cant identify real from unreal. The meds arent working and I want to dissapear. Im numb and want to feel pain.